OrlandoTommy Posted April 26, 2000 Share Posted April 26, 2000 Lisa (23) and I (26) have been together for 2 years. Lisa has had alot of problems in her past, she has a 4 year old son and a failed marriage along with a host of other problems with her family. I am just the oposite, I am from a very strong christian family and I am doing very well for myself in life. When I met Lisa it was almost love at first site, me and her until 1 week ago did everything together 24-7 and we always had a good time doing it. I learned to accept her child and tried to become a father figure to him which I think I did a pretty good job at, although I was a bit strict and we argued occasionally about that. Lisa had just moved from Maine when I met her, the husband that she left was paying her rent for her and the child here in St Petersburg, other than that she really did not have any money, no job or anything else. We started dating and I noticed myself trying to help her in every way possible, paying some bills, going grocery shopping for her etc... Keep in mind through all of this she is still married to her husband in Maine who she left because he wouldnt let her have her freedom. Either way, her lease was ending at her apartment complex about 6 months into our relationship, and I had just signed a lease with a guy roomate a few months before that. Once her lease ended she moved to her Grandparents with her kid (about 20 miles away from me)and I proceded to stay with her out there every night. Finally it was time for her to move out of her Grandparents house and I wanted to help her so I told her to look for a condo in St Petersburg and we would move in, I would find a roomate to take my place where I currently lived. Lisa was so excited, she found a place on a lake that was beautiful. I wanted her to be happy and have a safe place to raise her son so we decided to move into the condo. The condo was $1200.00 a month and was a little pricey for me but Lisa promised to get a job and help with the rent as soon as we were settled. Lisa got a good job and soon after that she was having the girls she works with go out with us on the weekends. Lisa and I always went out on Friday and Sat nights to clubs together, kind of a tradition. There was this one girl Lisa worked with that I had heard rumors about that she was gay. I didnt really think much of it because I knew my girlfriend wasn't gay. Well, we would go out to clubs and my girlfriend and the one gay girl would disappear in the bathroom for about 30+ minutes and come back, and then when we got home they would stay up all night talking to eachother. We have been in our new place about 1 month now just for the record. Also for the record, neither Lisa or myself EVER messed with drugs, we both despised them or at least I thought we did. Anyway, to end this story, Lisa started telling me that she needed her space, so I gave it to her. She said she wanted to go to her grandparents for the weekend so I went to my brothers in Jacksonville and hung out with him. Easter Sunday I came home and waited for Lisa to arrive. She got home and did not say a word to me, acted like I didnt exist and was putting clothes into a suitcase. I asked her what was going on and she said she was moving in with the girl that was gay. I almost passed out. She also told me she had been having sex with this girl since she had been working at this new job. She also told me that she shipped her son back to his dad in Maine. She also told me she had been at the beach with the girl all weekend. Lisa would never be away from her son, not for anything, she did not want the father to have custody of the child. Something was seriously going on when I found the child gone. So... My girlfriend let me for another woman, never explained anything to me, acted very mean and hateful to me, left me with a 17,000 lease to pay off and then sent a moving truck to come get her furniture. This all has happened in the past 7 days and my feelings are so confused and messed up I dont know what to think. I loved this girl with all my heart and soul and she really loved me, at least I thought. What makes someone do something like this to their friends and family and boyfriend? She has so much going for her and I really think that this gay girl is giving her cocaine or something because Lisa never stayed up wide awake all night nor did she ever hang out in club bathrooms for 30+ minutes until she met this girl. Someone please help me figure out what to do with myself and my feelings here. Thanks Tommy Link to post Share on other sites
Nina Posted April 27, 2000 Share Posted April 27, 2000 Tommy, I feel for you. Even though I've never been in this situation, betrayal by your lover is possibly the worst feeling you can feel. It makes th epit of your stomach drop down, makes you nauseous to think that someone coul do this to you. On some level, we seek to understand why the things inour life happen to us because we want to control what happens to us. We want to understand and have answers. But in some cases, you aren't ever able to have the answers. I myself was left by a lover one night, after I came home from work. There was nothing of his left there, I called him and he told me he was leaving me for another woman, and that was that. No explanation. Here's an article you might want to read, with some links in it with sites dedicated to striaght partners whos e lovers are/became gay: http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2000/04/26/dumped/index.html The best thing for you is to let her make her own choices in life, because itis her life. Let her go and move on. Good luck... Link to post Share on other sites
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