grogster Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Sorry TBF but I'm with Marlena et al. I think Lizzie is one of the most balanced people on this site, Her thread is perfectly ok (disagree totally with her opinion though). I think you might have some personal agenda in suddenly attacking her as mentally unbalanced ? nothing I have read on this thread would seem to justify this attack on her. Lighten up. I stand with you, wuggle. I also disagreed with lizzie's opinions on this Thread but I'll defend her right to proffer her opinions without having her mental health and integrity attacked. If OP's find their mental and ethical fitness challenged every time they start a thread, that will chill speech on this site. No one will risk saying anything controversial or unpopular for fear of being savaged by the Thought Police. Labeling someone mentally unbalanced because you disagree with what they say is too reminiscent of what the Soviets used to do to dissidents in the 1970's. I hated that practice then and there, and I hate that practice here and now. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 [quote=Touche;2048154. It's those whose marriages might be a little shaky that might be affected by this kind of nonsense. Bingo! If one is in a loving and secure marriage then they should not need to be validated all the time. Case in point. But if the marriage is shaky, then I could see how it might affect the union in a rather poor way. Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Why this fixation on married people? Why this feed? It's not healthy. Perhaps she sees it in herself, but doesn't get validation from those she really craves it from... hence why she seeks out MM? Just a theory. My opinion on that hasn't changed in two years. Edit to add: I don't disagree for an instant with her right to post her opinions... Link to post Share on other sites
wuggle Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 We expect that all participants will respond to posts in their specific context, not to the person who has posted. While opinions may be formed of various members based on what they have posted in the past, any response to any particular submission should be grounded in what has been posted in that thread. Past disagreements should not be resurrected in new threads. It is important that criticism be directed at what is stated in a post ("I don't like your idea") rather than at the individual making the statement ("I don't like you"). Sorry TBF I was trying to stick to the rules, have you read them ? Did you have a personal agenda, when you were going after spookie? Or was it the behaviour you found so distasteful? Please read my comments to Spookie, Nowhere did I attack her character, I repeatedly said that I like her a lot and was offering her some advice from a different standpoint. I haven't (yet) 'gone after' anyone on LS, if I did it would be unlikely to be spookie who is IMO a lovely but totally self delusional young woman. Lets stick to the rules shall we and try to keep it less personal...thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 I stand with you, wuggle. I also disagreed with lizzie's opinions on this Thread but I'll defend her right to proffer her opinions without having her mental health and integrity attacked. If OP's find their mental and ethical fitness challenged every time they start a thread, that will chill speech on this site. No one will risk saying anything controversial or unpopular for fear of being savaged by the Thought Police. I agree that there's no need to take aim at a person's mental health as a counterpoint to their opinions, but likewise, if we were limited in our ability to challenge the integrity and/or ethics of people's behaviors as posted, doesn't that chill the discussion in the other direction - squelching dissent just as much? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 After associating with a certain element some people tend to think everybody is like that. My theory is that after dating so many married men the OP thinks that every man can be seduced to cheat and that is just not true. For every MM that takes an interest in her there are probably a bunch that sh ecomes into contact that just go about their business but they might as well not even exist to her. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 i'm sure there is truth in what woggle says. i think the men that pay attention to her are the ones that will cheat anyway. there are men that would never cheat - no matter what. i HAVE known them - and it is possible for men to be faithful, contrary to Lizzie's belief's. her perspective is a bit biased. i see both sides all the time. most MIGHT cheat... these are the ones she deals with and searches for. some would NEVER cheat. these are the keepers. Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 I agree that there's no need to take aim at a person's mental health as a counterpoint to their opinions, but likewise, if we were limited in our ability to challenge the integrity and/or ethics of people's behaviors as posted, doesn't that chill the discussion in the other direction - squelching dissent just as much? I agree, Trimmer. I should have limited my argument to mental health/illness. That's my primary, if not sole, concern. Occasionally, however, mental health and ethics merge--especially in Lizzie's case. Lizzie is radioactive to many. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Freedom of expression is a double-edged sword. To attempt to leverage off pain, can get you the other side of the blade. No matter what walk of life, gender-aside, there will always be people who do the comparison and believe the grass is greener on the other side. There will also be people who believe they're the greener grass, when realistically speaking, the grass is brown from age. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 ...if we were limited in our ability to challenge the integrity and/or ethics of people's behaviors as posted, doesn't that chill the discussion in the other direction - squelching dissent just as much? I've always found a poster's integrity and ethics (or in this case, lack thereof!) directly relevant to the weight of their opinions, advice, commentary. If you know a poster has no moral compass, how much validation for that emptiness should they really get? Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 There will also be people who believe they're the greener grass, when realistically speaking, the grass is brown from age. ...and over-use. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Since it was Valentine's weekend, yesterday, on the radio this woman was saying that when a MM look at a single woman, he will compare his W to this woman.. for example.. he will think 'this woman looks great.. she dresses better than my W.. she's sexier, etc..' While a MW will think 'Hum.. he looks good.. but my SO is nicer.. etc.. I think this is true.. men tend to compare.. while women will think their SO is much better.. Guys: do you think this is true? no......not for me anyway. but then again, i don't have a wife. "I've been dead before, its very liberating" Don't want another one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 16, 2009 Author Share Posted February 16, 2009 Thanks to all who replied to my 'sincere' thread. I had no 'crual' intentions, like some insecure LoSers posted.. other than a discussion on what I heard on the radio.. I think. it is, like Fral admitted, true in many cases. I think men (visual creatures), in general, will compare their partner to any women they meet on a physical level.. Women, will think their partner is better. I sincerely think there is some truth in that statement. Remember.. when a man meet a woman.. some men say that MOST men will 'undress' her in his mind.. Can we just discuss any topics.. or does it always have to be previously 'accepted' by the 'Holier-than-Thou' hypocrit clique. Some women, not sure why, feel constantly threaten by my posts and my threads.. oh well.. they have issues.. that's probably why they spend 12 hours a day on here.. Do what I do for your threads, IGNORE them.. simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 16, 2009 Author Share Posted February 16, 2009 Yes, I worry that if she doesn't focus on what she's doing with that thong, she's going to give herself an atomic wedgie. Jealousy will take you nowhere.. Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 I've always found a poster's integrity and ethics (or in this case, lack thereof!) directly relevant to the weight of their opinions, advice, commentary. If you know a poster has no moral compass, how much validation for that emptiness should they really get? I'm not talking about "weight" or "validation." Nor am I referring to "moral compass" (whatever that is). My issue is with posters who disparage a poster's mental health, and who suggest that everything a poster's writes should be rejected because the poster is mentally ill, unbalanced, unhinged. That type of mental illness-based ad hominem attack is insidious. If you wish to discount all of Lizzie's opinions because, in your view, she's a slut, be my guest. That's your right, and it goes to her ethics, or lack thereof. What I oppose is labeling someone mentally ill in order to wholly invalidate the individual and her views, which are seen as deviant by the Majority. I won't be silent about that. The Shack is not the Soviet Union. If lizzie's mentally ill, then so am I. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 16, 2009 Author Share Posted February 16, 2009 If lizzie's mentally ill, then so am I. I LOVE YOU!!!!! I wish some LoSers would simply 'ignore' my threads.. Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Since it was Valentine's weekend, yesterday, on the radio this woman was saying that when a MM look at a single woman, he will compare his W to this woman.. for example.. he will think 'this woman looks great.. she dresses better than my W.. she's sexier, etc..' Women do need these gentle reminders to compare themselves with other women and speculate on their partners making comparisons that are unflattering (to them). What better time to give them a bit of a motivating, self esteem crushing prod than on Valentine's weekend? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 16, 2009 Author Share Posted February 16, 2009 Women do need these gentle reminders to compare themselves with other women and speculate on their partners making comparisons that are unflattering (to them). What better time to give them a bit of a motivating, self esteem crushing prod than on Valentine's weekend? Hey .. I don't get to choose the 'topic' on the radio.. geezzz... slack it! Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Hey .. I don't get to choose the 'topic' on the radio.. geezzz... slack it! Oh Lizzie. Don't get all grouchy with me when I'm just having a little fun. I thought you had a sense of humour, no? Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 The sad thing is that this topic is not going to affect anyone who is in a secure marriage. It's those whose marriages might be a little shaky that might be affected by this kind of nonsense. Of course according to the OP all marriages by definition are on shaky ground. But think about it. If you take her at face value, shaky marriages are her bread and butter. Without them she'd just be another middle-aged woman rapidly heading towards crone status! Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 This thread is posted in the Marriage and Life Partnership forum, soliciting views from MM, about whether or not they compare attractive women to their wives and find their wives wanting. Isn't it interesting that Lizzie usually posts in a topic area in and about which she has no experience and even less of a clue. Methinks she doth protest overly much and really laments the fact that no real man has ever found her worthy of lasting commitment. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 But think about it. If you take her at face value, shaky marriages are her bread and butter. Without them she'd just be another middle-aged woman rapidly heading towards crone status! Yes, I see your point. (So good to see you, Curmie!) Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 If you wish to discount all of Lizzie's opinions because, in your view, she's a slut, be my guest. You think I'm merely calling her a "slut"? Oh my, J. It goes well beyond promiscuity. I cannot express myself adequately without getting an infraction, so I'll just leave it at that. Methinks she doth protest overly much and really laments the fact that no real man has ever found her worthy of lasting commitment. I totally agree, Curmie. Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 You think I'm merely calling her a "slut"? Oh my, J. It goes well beyond promiscuity. I cannot express myself adequately without getting an infraction, so I'll just leave it at that. I totally agree, Curmie. No, Star, you misunderstood. My message was Lizzie's actions are fair game , not her mental health. Thus if someone wants to discount Lizzie's opinions because they view her as a slut, that's OK. What I reacted to was the disparaging clinical diagnoses. You weren't part of that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 But think about it. If you take her at face value, shaky marriages are her bread and butter. Without them she'd just be another middle-aged woman rapidly heading towards crone status! We all have our addictions.. at least mine, doesn't make anyone, under my roof, miserable.. and pathetic.. Link to post Share on other sites
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