Interesting...

[Storyrider]

Jealousy will take you nowhere..

 

:p :p

 

I don't want an atomic wedgie, believe me. You can have it.

[fral945]

I think. it is, like Fral admitted, true in many cases. I think men (visual creatures), in general, will compare their partner to any women they meet on a physical level.. Women, will think their partner is better.

 

I sincerely think there is some truth in that statement. Remember.. when a man meet a woman.. some men say that MOST men will 'undress' her in his mind..

 

One insight that I've gained from these forums (mostly from the porn discussions) is the fact that some women (not sure how many) actually have a problem with their man fantasizing about other women. This is the first place I ever ran across the term "mental monogamy". The women that I argued with in the porn topics told me that when they were in love they only thought about their man sexually and no other men. So I guess in their minds men commit "mental infidelity" when they look at porn. I really have a hard time comprehending that, as even in the greatest relationship possible I would still think about other women and compare my GF to other women.

 

But then again, I'm a man.

[Jennifer26]

Maybe I am just naive here, but I've never even considered my H is comparing me with all of these other women. Of course I realize he appreciates attractive women, and if we had not ever met, I am sure he would not find me to be the most beautiful creature ever at some random passing.

 

However, there is a lot more to our relationship and to most relationships beyond physical appearances.

 

Maybe it's happened here and there, where he's wished I was as kinky as a movie character, or that I wore shorter skirts like a woman he saw in a bar. But I doubt he's thinking how wretched I am because of I don't do these things. And I'm pretty sure when he chose to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me, he was aware attractive women existed out there.

 

No matter how beautiful, or hot, or good in bed, or nicely you dress - there is always going to be someone out there who is more beautiful, dresses better, is kinkier than you.. I think any man who isn't a moron realizes this and isn't hating their wife because she doesn't look like the supermodel he just saw on the victoria's secret catalog.

[Curmudgeon]

We all have our addictions.. at least mine, doesn't make anyone, under my roof, miserable.. and pathetic..

 

And that has what to do about what I posted, Lizzie, or is it merely meant to be some sort of a cheap shot? If it is, it makes you worse than pathetic. It makes you very needy. That likely being the case, I truly feel sorry for you.

[Touche]

Excellent post, Jennifer.

 

Especially this:

 

However, there is a lot more to our relationship and to most relationships beyond physical appearances.

 

Exactly. And it doesn't bother me if we're watching a movie or something and my H says "so and so is stunning." I do it too. It surely doesn't mean I want to have sex with that person. Nor does it mean that for him. We can fantasize a little but a fantasy is just that...a fantasy. Not something you'd ever actually want to go through with...whether you're SO would find out about it or not. Makes no difference.

 

That's what some people don't get.

[Curmudgeon]

Maybe I am just naive here...

 

No you're not, Jennifer. You're mature, centered and balanced. Excellent points and very real. You are blessed to have a real grasp of what a committed relationship is about.

[Touche]

So if one's "addictions" don't hurt anyone under your roof but hurt other people and even children, it's ok because you don't know them and they're not under your roof? That makes it ok? Have I got that right?

[You'reasian]

Since it was Valentine's weekend, yesterday, on the radio this woman was saying that when a MM look at a single woman, he will compare his W to this woman.. for example.. he will think 'this woman looks great.. she dresses better than my W.. she's sexier, etc..'

 

While a MW will think 'Hum.. he looks good.. but my SO is nicer.. etc..

 

I think this is true.. men tend to compare.. while women will think their SO is much better..

 

Guys: do you think this is true?

 

Not true.

 

Not married, but when I'm in a relationship, my woman has it all - but I do notice attractive, sexy other women strictly in the moment - I just don't persue anything for obvious reasons and don't really mind it longer than I have to.

 

In an interesting note, I have noticed that some women have a double standard about this - checking out another guy, while I tease 'em about it and when they catch me they can get bent out of shape.

 

Hell, I just wanna bang my woman.

[Curmudgeon]

So if one's "addictions" don't hurt anyone under your roof but hurt other people and even children, it's ok because you don't know them and they're not under your roof? That makes it ok? Have I got that right?

 

Sounds like the Gospel According to Lizzie. Sad! Very sad! Someone had best consider the karma train.

[soserious1]

Maybe I am just naive here, but I've never even considered my H is comparing me with all of these other women. Of course I realize he appreciates attractive women, and if we had not ever met, I am sure he would not find me to be the most beautiful creature ever at some random passing.

 

However, there is a lot more to our relationship and to most relationships beyond physical appearances.

 

Maybe it's happened here and there, where he's wished I was as kinky as a movie character, or that I wore shorter skirts like a woman he saw in a bar. But I doubt he's thinking how wretched I am because of I don't do these things. And I'm pretty sure when he chose to marry me and spend the rest of his life with me, he was aware attractive women existed out there.

 

No matter how beautiful, or hot, or good in bed, or nicely you dress - there is always going to be someone out there who is more beautiful, dresses better, is kinkier than you.. I think any man who isn't a moron realizes this and isn't hating their wife because she doesn't look like the supermodel he just saw on the victoria's secret catalog.

 

 

I disagree.. I think for a lot of men that things like a good personality, a giving nature are things they can find with pretty much any woman. Perky tits,a tight bum and a young pretty face trump all in my direct experience.

 

My husband had ZERO problem letting me know how much hotter other women were and he didn't bother to disguise his lust and longing for them in the slightest.

 

My sole value, my only thing of any worth was my paycheck.. and even that according to him,was,like my breasts,just too small to muster up much excitement over.

 

As far as Lizzie goes, I actually find her and her exploits rather amusing, she doesn't kidnap or force men at gunpoint to betray their wives, they seem to be all too eager to do that all on their own.Say what you will but I think Lizzie's posts are always good for an interesting read. At any rate I would never presume to sit at my computer and attempt to DX anybody

[Jennifer26]

Soserious, your husband sounds like a real *******. But I don't think that is the norm.

 

And sure, men are going to fantasize about women with perky tits, or a tight bum - but that doesn't mean they'd betray their wives or give her up for that fantasy.

[soserious1]

Soserious, your husband sounds like a real *******. But I don't think that is the norm.

 

And sure, men are going to fantasize about women with perky tits, or a tight bum - but that doesn't mean they'd betray their wives or give her up for that fantasy.

 

In my experience I think a lot of men are REALLY unhappy with the women they had to settle for.They mouth all the correct platitudes about the virtue's of their wives...but watch their faces closely when you place them near a young,really hot well stacked woman. They look like wolves who haven't been fed in a week.

 

Heck,I've actually seen/heard men at my job when a young,hot intern walks by "oh man, she's got a slammin bod,wished my wife looked like that"

[Trialbyfire]

soserious1, don't fall into this trap. That's the number 1 reason why this thread was posted, to erode, thus leverage off pain and misery.

 

Your ex-H is fecal matter. You cannot judge all men by his emotional abuse.

[Jennifer26]

In my experience I think a lot of men are REALLY unhappy with the women they had to settle for.They mouth all the correct platitudes about the virtue's of their wives...but watch their faces closely when you place them near a young,really hot well stacked woman. They look like wolves who haven't been fed in a week.

 

Heck,I've actually seen/heard men at my job when a young,hot intern walks by "oh man, she's got a slammin bod,wished my wife looked like that"

 

Even so, I don't think all of those same men would leave their wife for the other woman. Of course some would, and there will always be jerks and cheaters out there.

 

I just don't believe all men are loathing their decision to marry their wives.

 

If I could choose, sure I'd have my husband stay the way he looks now over aging, getting fat, wrinkles, going bald. I'm sure he'd choose the same thing for me as well. But aging is inevitable, and I love him regardless and wouldn't want to cheat on him, or leave him. But that doesn't mean I won't appreciate brad pitt without his shirt on.

[Lizzie60]

In my experience I think a lot of men are REALLY unhappy with the women they had to settle for.They mouth all the correct platitudes about the virtue's of their wives...but watch their faces closely when you place them near a young,really hot well stacked woman. They look like wolves who haven't been fed in a week.

 

Heck,I've actually seen/heard men at my job when a young,hot intern walks by "oh man, she's got a slammin bod,wished my wife looked like that"

 

 

This is sooo true.. I often told some colleagues.. 'yeah right.. I don't think you'd talk like that if your W was around..'

 

This initial post was taken out of context.. on the radio, she was saying that men mentally compare their W/gf.. not actually telling them about the comparison or even threatening to leave because the woman had a nicer pair of tits..

[Touche]

The guys you work with obviously have zero class. Even if my H would think such things, and I highly doubt it (I have the perky "tits" and all you know:p ) he wouldn't be tacky enough to ever voice such a thing out loud.

 

How declasse!

[soserious1]

This is sooo true.. I often told some colleagues.. 'yeah right.. I don't think you'd talk like that if your W was around..'

 

This initial post was taken out of context.. on the radio, she was saying that men mentally compare their W/gf.. not actually telling them about the comparison or even threatening to leave because the woman had a nicer pair of tits..

 

I can't remember the source or I would cite it but there was a study done where average men married to average women were shown photo after photo of really beautiful,sexy well built models. Playboy centerfold material.. and were then asked to rate their partner's level of attractiveness.. after each round the men rated their partners lower and lower.

[Touche]

The guys you work with obviously have zero class. Even if my H would think such things, and I highly doubt it (I have the perky "tits" and all you know:p ) he wouldn't be tacky enough to ever voice such a thing out loud.

 

How declasse!

 

Just wanted to edit to say that he wouldn't be tacky enough to voice those things to anyone else but me, his wife. And I'm talking about him saying someone is stunning or really put together.

 

Never mind that he would NEVER be so tacky as to say he'd want to "do some piece of ass or another" which is what I think the guys around you are saying.

 

Just needed to clarify there.

[soserious1]

The guys you work with obviously have zero class. Even if my H would think such things, and I highly doubt it (I have the perky "tits" and all you know:p ) he wouldn't be tacky enough to ever voice such a thing out loud.

 

How declasse!

 

The nice thing about being an old broad is that I'm invisble to most people unless they need me to do em a favor or lend em money:) as such I get to stand frequently like a fly on the wall and observe human interactions.

 

You'd be amazed at what men say and do amongest each other when a hot woman passes by. I think such remarks and thoughts are pretty common.

[Touche]

I can't remember the source or I would cite it but there was a study done where average men married to average women were shown photo after photo of really beautiful,sexy well built models. Playboy centerfold material.. and were then asked to rate their partner's level of attractiveness.. after each round the men rated their partners lower and lower.

 

First of all they're rating PHYSICAL attractiveness only. I wonder how those same men would rate those same women if they had to actually live with these bimbos. Bet you'd see a disparity there. I mean if they had to rate them on more than just the physical they'd probably fall short, you know? And most men, don't only go for women because of what they look like. Sure they might want to eff them. But that's where the "relationship" ends.

 

No man would actually want to marry such a woman...or most wouldn't anyway. Most wouldn't want to spend the rest of their lives with them...but a roll in the hay for a night? Perhaps.

 

Secondly, not all men like those types. 99% of those "well built" women are surgically enhanced..not that there's anything wrong with that but many men don't like that. Just saying.

 

And furthermore, many men prefer more petite women. I'm my H's physical type, what can I say?

 

That study is completely meaningless.

[Trialbyfire]

There's a major difference between men making comments between each other doing the male bonding thing and men who exceed the boundaries of a committed relationship.

 

Unless you're a misandrist, believing all men are pigs, it's unrealistic to believe they would all exceed the line of good taste and commitment, particularly in reference to self attraction. Incredibly narcissistic.

[Jennifer26]

Not to mention, most men could be married to a playboy model and would STILL look at other women.

 

That's just how men are wired. I stopped worrying about it and am a hell of a lot happier for it.

[Touche]

The nice thing about being an old broad is that I'm invisble to most people unless they need me to do em a favor or lend em money:) as such I get to stand frequently like a fly on the wall and observe human interactions.

 

You'd be amazed at what men say and do amongest each other when a hot woman passes by. I think such remarks and thoughts are pretty common.

 

You know what? I didn't disagree with one single thing you said here. Especially the last part.

 

Because you made my point. There's nothing "common" about my H. He would never in a zillion years talk like that.

 

Who wants to settle for "common" when you can have "exceptional?";)

[Lizzie60]

You know what? I didn't disagree with one single thing you said here. Especially the last part.

 

Because you made my point. There's nothing "common" about my H. He would never in a zillion years talk like that.

 

Who wants to settle for "common" when you can have "exceptional?";)

 

 

Touche ... you're trying too hard...

 

Who are you trying to convince here.. you? ...

 

We all know, by now.. that your husband has never ever had any thoughts about any other women.. come on.. we know that..

[Jennifer26]

Touche ... you're trying too hard...

 

Who are you trying to convince here.. you? ...

 

We all know, by now.. that your husband has never ever had any thoughts about any other women.. come on.. we know that..

There is a difference between having a fantasy, and openly being crass about it with co-workers.

 

Although, I can't say I'd even be bothered if I found out my Husband said something like that. It's guy talk, big whoop. I've said worse when out with my girlfriends.