Ariadne Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Who wants to settle for "common" when you can have "exceptional?";) Tell me what you brag about and I'll tell you what you lack? Hey you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 There is a difference between having a fantasy, and openly being crass about it with co-workers. Although, I can't say I'd even be bothered if I found out my Husband said something like that. It's guy talk, big whoop. I've said worse when out with my girlfriends. Me too.. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 The nicest thing about getting older and accepting crone status is this.. I understand that I am not physically attractive to men, not sexually desirable in the slightest, I understand that the only love I'm going to get is the kind I can pay cash money for.. and those understandings are refreshing and strangely liberating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 The nicest thing about getting older and accepting crone status is this.. I understand that I am not physically attractive to men, not sexually desirable in the slightest, I understand that the only love I'm going to get is the kind I can pay cash money for.. and those understandings are refreshing and strangely liberating. I have no clue how old you are.. but my bet is that I'm older than you are.. but I'm not there yet.. I know I'm still attractive to men.. and sexually desirable... I have proofs every day... but I understand what you're saying.. and I know, I'm not stupid, that one day.. I will surely think the same way.. but there's not rush.. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Who wants to settle for "common" when you can have "exceptional?";) More than that, who wants to settle for crass and common in a woman when you can have a true lady? Oh, and serious1, if I ever reach the stage of neediness that I need to pay for it, someone just shoot me please. Liberating? Not hardly. More like pathetic. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 There is a difference between having a fantasy, and openly being crass about it with co-workers. Although, I can't say I'd even be bothered if I found out my Husband said something like that. It's guy talk, big whoop. I've said worse when out with my girlfriends. my ex told me once "of course you could go out to a bar and buy guys drinks and get yourself laid pretty quickly but if given a choice would the guy rather screw somebody younger? of course he would,any man would, they'll settle for a warm.open hole though,particularly if the hole also carries an Amex gold" Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Touche ... you're trying too hard... Who are you trying to convince here.. you? ... We all know, by now.. that your husband has never ever had any thoughts about any other women.. come on.. we know that.. Ok, whatever, Lizzie. I wasn't trying to convince me or anyone else. I'm just taking part in the discussion and trying to stay on topic. Interpret and more likely, "twist" what I say however you wish to. It's ok. Vraiment. Hey Ariadne! I've missed you! But I'm not sure I agree with that silly saying you posted. Sometimes what we "brag" about is really what we have and we're proud to state as much. I don't look at it as "bragging" so much as stating fact. If others perceive that as bragging, so be it. Makes no difference to me. To borrow from SG...*shrugs* Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 The nicest thing about getting older and accepting crone status is this.. I understand that I am not physically attractive to men, not sexually desirable in the slightest, I understand that the only love I'm going to get is the kind I can pay cash money for.. and those understandings are refreshing and strangely liberating. Do you know what's an even more liberating feeling? Knowing that no matter what happens, no matter if someone cheats on you or not, no matter what happens in a relationship/marriage, you'll always know that you are strong enough to go on, without bitterness and misandry. In not allowing the past to dominate your now, you're free to be who you want to be. The past is dead and has no power over you. You don't need to condone the actions of the person who hurt you but realize that it has no power over you. Now THAT's freedom. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 More than that, who wants to settle for crass and common in a woman when you can have a true lady? Oh, and serious1, if I ever reach the stage of neediness that I need to pay for it, someone just shoot me please. Liberating? Not hardly. More like pathetic. You're male aren't you? As men age more and more options open to them romantically, you could date and bed age peers or women 10-20 years or more your junior. I don't have a problem with paying for physical intimacy but next time I'll merely rent it for the evening:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 You're male aren't you? As men age more and more options open to them romantically, you could date and bed age peers or women 10-20 years or more your junior. I don't have a problem with paying for physical intimacy but next time I'll merely rent it for the evening:) That goes for us too.. I had and still have lovers that are over 30 years younger.... Aging men with young chicks.. the girl is in for the money.. certainly not for the sex.. Younger guys with older women.. it's not for the money.. she still has to look good.. and it's for the great sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 You're male aren't you? As men age more and more options open to them romantically, you could date and bed age peers or women 10-20 years or more your junior. I don't have a problem with paying for physical intimacy but next time I'll merely rent it for the evening:) I'm male. I'm in my 60s. When I divorced at 48 I had all kinds of offers/opportunities across the age span. I lived like a monk for two years by choice then asked out and eventually married a woman only two years my junion. That was a bit over 12 years ago. Renting and/or paying not an option. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Do you know what's an even more liberating feeling? Knowing that no matter what happens, no matter if someone cheats on you or not, no matter what happens in a relationship/marriage, you'll always know that you are strong enough to go on, without bitterness and misandry. In not allowing the past to dominate your now, you're free to be who you want to be. The past is dead and has no power over you. You don't need to condone the actions of the person who hurt you but realize that it has no power over you. Now THAT's freedom. I write a hefty alimony check every month under the threat that if I do not comply I will be jailed for contempt of court and my assets seized. My ex has considerable power over me via the divorce settlement. I have no problem with facing the fact that I'm old and that if I want sexual intimacy I'm going to need to pay cash for it. It beats running the risk of paying alimony again and it's better than cruising bars in hopes of finding a guy drunk enough to do me. Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 For your information, my father was an alcoholic.. I HATE alcohol.. always did.. he never ever raise a hand on me.. and never touched me (sexually).. My father also never touched (beat) my mother.. I know you don't believe that .. but what can I say.. But on the other hand, he was a cheater, and you LOVE men who cheat... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I could not agree more. Sure, I've had marital problems. Hence why I joined this forum in the first place. But over the years I have come to realize I would be okay, and if my husband does decide to leave me "for a younger, warm hole" - well then, his loss. I am sure he would come to regret it, because I know I am a great wife and a great person and have much to offer whether it be with him, or someone else. I will never spend another moment of my life worrying about whether or not my husband may cheat on me, or whether he likes looking at porn. I feel confident enough about ME that I don't care. Again, it's his loss. I will be okay no matter what. If I wasn't good enough for him, I am sure there is someone else out there who would be delighted to have me. Older, colder vagina and all. I feel more liberated than ever, and it came from just being okay with ME. I know it sounds corny and like some self help book, but it's true. And the funny thing is I used to come on here and complain about my Husband looking at porn often, I'd play porn police with him. I was so miserable then. Since I stopped looking, caring, thinking about it.. I've gained so much confidence, took up some hobbies, am happier than ever and my husband is now coming to me for sex ALL OF THE TIME. For the first time in years I am actually turning him down some of the time.You go Jennifer! It's truly a liberating feeling. I've survived infidelity, although I booted him out and divorced him. There's nothing that can get to me now, at least nothing I can't survive and no one I can't walk away from. Oh, don't get me wrong. The next man who cheats on me, I'll castrate first, before walking away. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I write a hefty alimony check every month under the threat that if I do not comply I will be jailed for contempt of court and my assets seized. Ahhh! So that's what it's about. I wrote them too. Then she remarried and the alimony ended. Either way it was better than living with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Ahhh! So that's what it's about. I wrote them too. Then she remarried and the alimony ended. Either way it was better than living with her.Exactly C! Walk away from people who don't deserve you in their lives. To use a rude phrase: Kiss mine baby, as you watch me walk away! Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 But on the other hand, he was a cheater, and you LOVE men who cheat... Thats all I get. Kind of boring. I don't agree with the original premise. Some people compare, some are validated by their choices. Some are just happy in their current relationships. None is gender specific IMO. It's all subjective and personality/relationship specific. Something that those without personal validation specific tunnel vision, mixed with ageing issues would understand. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 I could not agree more. Sure, I've had marital problems. Hence why I joined this forum in the first place. But over the years I have come to realize I would be okay, and if my husband does decide to leave me "for a younger, warm hole" - well then, his loss. I am sure he would come to regret it, because I know I am a great wife and a great person and have much to offer whether it be with him, or someone else. I will never spend another moment of my life worrying about whether or not my husband may cheat on me, or whether he likes looking at porn. I feel confident enough about ME that I don't care. Again, it's his loss. I will be okay no matter what. If I wasn't good enough for him, I am sure there is someone else out there who would be delighted to have me. Older, colder vagina and all. I feel more liberated than ever, and it came from just being okay with ME. I know it sounds corny and like some self help book, but it's true. And the funny thing is I used to come on here and complain about my Husband looking at porn often, I'd play porn police with him. I was so miserable then. Since I stopped looking, caring, thinking about it.. I've gained so much confidence, took up some hobbies, am happier than ever and my husband is now coming to me for sex ALL OF THE TIME. For the first time in years I am actually turning him down some of the time. You have the exact attitude for a happier life.. good for you.. I sooo agree with all you posted. It's the same with jealousy.. a true recipe to be miserable. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Guys: do you think this is true? Again, no I don't think so. (BTW, if anyone remembers this was about men looking at women and comparing them to their wives. It was NOT about Lizzie. If we all analyzed teh person who started a thread as y'all are doing to Lizzie, then all of us would be found lacking). Why? First, most men who DO cheat actually choose a woman who looks less attractive...even by their own admission. Second, men simply stare at other women because they can and their inner feelings are independent of their feelings regarding their wives. When we look at women in bikinis, do we REALLY think of "How does she compare to my wife?" No, we simply appreciate her beauty whether out of lust or admiration. Third, when men say their wives are more beautiful than all other women, they do it for a number of reasons...none are simply based on outer attraction only. I think that for most of us it is almost impossible to separate our memories and deep love for the inner person from the outward appearance. As has been said, seeing someone as beautiful is completely different than having a conversation with her. I am not dumb. There are many, many men more handsome than I. There are many men who are more muscular than I. There are many younger men who could charm a woman better than I. But to my wife, I know that this matters not...it is I she desires. And she is not dumb. She knows there are women that are better looking than her...outwardly. There are younger women who could flirt the most stubborn man's pants off. And yes, there are women who are more fit than her. But she also knows that SHE is who I think is most beautiful. Her eyes, her looks, her personality, and yes, her most perfectly built figure....these all contribute to making her the one who I count as most beautiful of all. Yet we both know that we can discuss and admire beauty in others without feeling threatened by the insecurity of one of us straying...based on outward beauty alone. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Ahhh! So that's what it's about. I wrote them too. Then she remarried and the alimony ended. Either way it was better than living with her. Unfortunately, having to pay him greatly impacts and limits my life choices. He's moved onto a relationship with a 33 yr old who is so pretty she's jaw droppingly stunning, they make an amazingly attractive couple. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Unfortunately, having to pay him greatly impacts and limits my life choices. He's moved onto a relationship with a 33 yr old who is so pretty she's jaw droppingly stunning, they make an amazingly attractive couple. I'm sure that does and I'm sure that hurts. On the bright side, if there is one, he's no man if he takes money from a woman unless there are chid support issues involved. Barring the latter, you're better off without him. I paid through the nose for years, to include signing over half my retirement funds, but in the end, the divorce would have been worth it at twice the price! Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 First, most men who DO cheat actually choose a woman who looks less attractive...even by their own admission. Yeah, but I don't think they go out and determine to do that. Its just that usually the ones less attractive than their wives are the FIRST to accept the offer. I don't think the cheating men get that much of a choice as to the looks of their mistresses. LOL. (I realize some might take offense to this, but I am not writing about any one in particular) Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Poor, Lizzie....she can't catch a break. :laugh: On men comparing women, I agree AND disagree. I think that both do it, but I think that men appreciate beauty for its own sake - not for any comparison. What men might compare and then mention to their wives is a hairstyle, or clothing style - something to make his wive even more attractive to him. But women don't always positively compare their SOs. But without knowing the stranger, we typically don't get too caught up in his looks other than for that moment. Women typically don't evaluate a man on his looks alone. And neither do most mature men. But that's not what the thread was about anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I'm sure that does and I'm sure that hurts. On the bright side, if there is one, he's no man if he takes money from a woman unless there are chid support issues involved. Barring the latter, you're better off without him. I paid through the nose for years, to include signing over half my retirement funds, but in the end, the divorce would have been worth it at twice the price! If I were even 10 years younger I'd feel lucky, at this point the only thing I feel is terror..fear that I don't have enough good years left career wise to recoup all that I've lost. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 No, she's the attorney. I'm the "secretary" to the attorney. (Never mind that I help run half of the practice!) Oh and I have a Bachelors degree...do you? Not that a degree proves anything but I'm curious. Did you ever go to college? Because you're calling someone on their education and station in life it sounds like. Would most people hold in higher regard a government worker with no college education who turns tricks on the side or a college educated lawyer? Just curious because in your world I really don't know the answer to that and I thirst for this kind of knowledge. It's like watching the National Geographic channel and learning about foreign cultures...like those people who live in those uncivilized societies. It's quite fascinating, really. As for dating and sleeping people for "nothing" wow. Are you serious? It's called living and learning. It's called a lot of things. But guess what it's NOT called? It's not called prostitution. Being able to say that is priceless for some of us. But I certainly don't expect some people to understand that concept. The concept that integrity has no price. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts