Touche Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 My point is this... you won't know what a relationship has truly cost you till it's over... and you just never know when it will be over and you'll find that it's cost you dearly,far more than you'd ever dreamed possible. We all pay, in one way or another we all pay. Thanks, hun. I'll take my chances. I mean it's worked for us for the last 14 years. So if this year, it all goes to hell in a handbasket, I'd STILL say that whatever the price I paid was worth it. In my world it would cost me FAR more to put walls up and have to actually PAY for sex and intimacy. The hit that paying for sex on a short term basis would take on my self-esteem would never in a million years be worth it. I do have my pride. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Thanks, hun. I'll take my chances. I mean it's worked for us for the last 14 years. So if this year, it all goes to hell in a handbasket, I'd STILL say that whatever the price I paid was worth it. In my world it would cost me FAR more to put walls up and have to actually PAY for sex and intimacy. The hit that paying for sex on a short term basis would take on my self-esteem would never in a million years be worth it. I do have my pride. Pride? self-esteem ? Sorry but after enduring a marriage where I paid emotionally,physically and fiscally and was deemed unworthy of sexual intimacy by my husband I suffer from no illusions where love is concerned anymore. I am old and I am most decidedly not physically attractive or sexually desirable, if I want sex and intimate touch I am going to have to pay for it in one way or another..I'd prefer to pay for it on a short term basis rather than risk my now greatly depleted assets. Btw, I'm not your "hun" and would prefer that you do not refer to me by that term. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 never say never... just when a person starts to take certain things for granted is when the "that would never happen to ME" settles into the place in their life. i've seen it happen time and time again. so - please don't say it like that. $hitty things happen all the time - to people that deserve it the least - you just never know... Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Guys: do you think this is true? I’m not a guy, but it’s been my observation that women compare themselves to other women more than males do. And not only are they more vocal about their comparisons, but they are far more critical and vicious about tearing each other apart, too. I’ve met some clueless Tools in my lifetime who never learned much in the way of manners or how to treat the women they were with. I feel sick to my stomach when I hear some of the stories about what some women have had to put up with. But fortunately, if I’ve ever been compared to another women (I’m sure I have been) they’ve all had the good sense (so far) to keep those observations to themselves. Sure wish I could say the same for the good many insecure, jealous and catty females I’ve run across. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 lol, whoever said that love is free was either delusional or on drugs. We all pay, be it in money, emotionally or with the most priceless and irreplacable resource of all..our time. I have no problem with the concept of paying someone willing to provide physical intimacy and I don't have a problem with sex workers. Well said.. and soo true. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 I partially agree with this. Most of the time I pity the OW, especially the ones involved with co-workers or old friends - men they think they know pretty well and trust and have built platonic relationships with over time. I don't pity them because they are pitiable, quite the opposite. I feel sorry for them that they will likely be losing that friend, that relationship when the A is over. And whether most like to admit it, the affairs DO end in most cases - either with a divorce or a reconciliation. But if a woman did her best to seduce my man (yeah, I said it), I don't think I would not fault her. If she got what she wanted, I would fault her too. I don't think its right to go around purposefully tempting married men.[/quote] It's not like I put a gun to their head.. They are more than willing to follow me to my bedroom.. Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Well said.. and soo true. Oh, Lizzie, not again. Please don't provoke the raging crowd. Don't bait them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 I agree with most of your points except the one that men know when they are being seduced. An experienced seductress doesn't display her wares in a sexual manner. She goes after a man with things that he is vulnerable to. She wants to be rescued from a bad situation, or she acts so independent as to not know what a man's care is like. Either way, the man will not know what hit him when she gets her claws in good. Believe me, I used to be one of those women - but never with married men. It wasn't about being sexy alone. The art of seduction isn't limited to the bedroom. to some degree this is true.. but to say that the guy is NOT aware.. humm... there's a line.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 Oh, Lizzie, not again. Please don't provoke the raging crowd. Don't bait them. come on Grogs.. It is my thread and I need to answer a few posts.. Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 come on Grogs.. It is my thread and I need to answer a few posts.. You are such an instigator! You're going to get the mob all riled up, again. Although, if you're posting here you're not seducing married men. That's a plus. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 You are such an instigator! You're going to get the mob all riled up, again. Although, if you're posting here you're not seducing married men. That's a plus. Come on Grog.. I don't recognize you anymore.. Why is responding to my own thread being an instigator.. then every body is an instigator.. unless they post a 'vanilla' thread that will please the majority.. Funny that you say that while I'm posting here I'm not seducing a MM.. because right now.. oh never mind.. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Funny that you say that while I'm posting here I'm not seducing a MM.. because right now.. oh never mind.. The question is...do you seduce them or do they seduce you? Do you actually get MM who are very happy with their marriages and wives, or is it the ones who need the attention of many women that seek you out? Is it the men who ARE happy at home that seek you out or is it the ones who SAY they are happy at home that seek you out? So who seduces who? Oh, and when they are with you, do they still say that their wives are better looking...? Link to post Share on other sites
Alma Mobley Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Interesting... For the record, I thought what James said was very sweet. Personally, I don't think men work that way -- constant comparisons of that woman on the street to their wives, girlfriends. I think men look at an attractive woman and think, "Wow, she's a knockout/gorgeous/etc." And let it end there. If they don't, that means they are not getting sex from their wives/gfs or have lost attraction to them. Same for women. I will certainly recognize a good-looking man, but if I am satisfied at home, I don't think that much about it. Just my two cents. Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Interesting... For the record, I thought what James said was very sweet. Personally, I don't think men work that way -- constant comparisons of that woman on the street to their wives, girlfriends. I think men look at an attractive woman and think, "Wow, she's a knockout/gorgeous/etc." And let it end there. If they don't, that means they are not getting sex from their wives/gfs or have lost attraction to them. Same for women. I will certainly recognize a good-looking man, but if I am satisfied at home, I don't think that much about it. Just my two cents. Bingo! Very, very true. Most guys don't go through the laborious comparison process. If we see a woman on the street who looks hot, we enjoy the moment and then get back to whatever it is we're doing. It's more often aesthetic than carnal. We don't constantly compare. Why bother? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 from my experience - i think women tend to size each other up with a more critical eye than men do. men generally appreciate for the sheer physical beauty on first contact, women tend to do a thorough assessment of the competition. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 The question is...do you seduce them or do they seduce you? Do you actually get MM who are very happy with their marriages and wives, or is it the ones who need the attention of many women that seek you out? Is it the men who ARE happy at home that seek you out or is it the ones who SAY they are happy at home that seek you out? So who seduces who? Oh, and when they are with you, do they still say that their wives are better looking...? Except for one (on vacation).. they all came to me.. Most men who visit me.. are happy at home..but they miss something in the sex department.. They, most of the time, say nice things about their W...but they love the lingerie... the sex.. We often talk about their life at home.. their kids.. etc. Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Lizzie, what do you have that your MMs' wives lack, if anything? I don't sense that you're a phreak in the sex area--hard core BDSM, group sex, fetish play. Is it simply that you're not the spouse? Is your "otherness" a turn-on? Some "strange." What is it you have that all these wives ostensibly lack? What are your trade secrets? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Lizzie, what do you have that your MMs' wives lack, if anything? I don't sense that you're a phreak in the sex area--hard core BDSM, group sex, fetish play. Is it simply that you're not the spouse? Is your "otherness" a turn-on? Some "strange." What is it you have that all these wives ostensibly lack? What are your trade secrets? i have a feeling it's that she's willing... simple - but true. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 IME, all a woman has to do is send out signals that she is available and the men who are missing that available signal in their lives will be drawn to her like a magnet. It doesn't matter whether they're married or single, just that they're hetero. How deep the rabbit hole goes depends on their personal moral compass. It could be just noticing her and comparing to their W/GF. It could be a full-on PA. Depends. Lizzie, is that pretty close? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 Lizzie, what do you have that your MMs' wives lack, if anything? I don't sense that you're a phreak in the sex area--hard core BDSM, group sex, fetish play. Is it simply that you're not the spouse? Is your "otherness" a turn-on? Some "strange." What is it you have that all these wives ostensibly lack? What are your trade secrets? No I'm not into hard core sex.. or BDSM (just mild ).. My trade secrets: Why they keep me for years... and they keep calling even after I dump them.. it's simple.. the great sex my big breasts, my butt my lingerie my place is spotless I'm a nice person, funny and smart. Any other questions? Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 No I'm not into hard core sex.. or BDSM (just mild ).. My trade secrets: Why they keep me for years... and they keep calling even after I dump them.. it's simple.. the great sex my big breasts, my butt my lingerie my place is spotless I'm a nice person, funny and smart. Any other questions? Nope. Sounds good to me. Thanks for responding. Link to post Share on other sites
fral945 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 grogster, I don't think it's that complicated. Lizzie is attractive, willing, and available (which the wives are likely not anymore). If they are like any of the married guys I know, their sexual needs are not exactly at the top of the list for their wives and the wives have let themselves go physically. Link to post Share on other sites
grogster Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 grogster, I don't think it's that complicated. Lizzie is attractive, willing, and available (which the wives are likely not anymore). If they are like any of the married guys I know, their sexual needs are not exactly at the top of the list for their wives and the wives have let themselves go physically. Perhaps, fral. But in every instance? Remember, Lizzie's a cougar (I mean that in a nice way, Lizzie), so her target male population--guys in their 30's and 40's--are going to have wives much younger than Lizzie. Plus, these are professional types where there's greater emphasis on looking good, staying fit, etc. I suspect that the spouses "lose out" not because they're lousy in bed or look like the Titanic, but because they're "spouses." But I'm speculating. Perhaps Lizzy can ask a representive sampling of her client base to visit the Shack and give us their reasons for cheating. Would the sparks fly on that Thread! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizzie60 Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 Perhaps, fral. But in every instance? Remember, Lizzie's a cougar (I mean that in a nice way, Lizzie), so her target male population--guys in their 30's and 40's--are going to have wives much younger than Lizzie. Plus, these are professional types where there's greater emphasis on looking good, staying fit, etc. I suspect that the spouses "lose out" not because they're lousy in bed or look like the Titanic, but because they're "spouses." But I'm speculating. Perhaps Lizzy can ask a representive sampling of her client base to visit the Shack and give us their reasons for cheating. Would the sparks fly on that Thread! Grogs.. like you, I don't like the term Cougar.. cause that sounds like 'predator'.. which I am not.. I have never ever chased a younger guy... they come to me... so I don't consider myself a Cougar. Yes all the W are younger.. no exceptions. There are as many reasons for men to cheat as there are cheaters.. Link to post Share on other sites
fral945 Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Perhaps, fral. But in every instance? Remember, Lizzie's a cougar (I mean that in a nice way, Lizzie), so her target male population--guys in their 30's and 40's--are going to have wives much younger than Lizzie. Plus, these are professional types where there's greater emphasis on looking good, staying fit, etc. I suspect that the spouses "lose out" not because they're lousy in bed or look like the Titanic, but because they're "spouses." But I'm speculating. Perhaps Lizzy can ask a representive sampling of her client base to visit the Shack and give us their reasons for cheating. Would the sparks fly on that Thread! Probably not every instance, but I bet quite a few. All I can say is that I’m friends and work with a lot of older guys (and when I say older, older than me, which means 30s and 40s). The most common complaint they have about their relationships are sexual, usually about variety/availability/loss of interest due to wife letting herself go. I’m sure some guys just want the variety for variety sake. But I just think to myself if I was in some of these married guys’ shoes that’s pretty much the main motivation I would have to cheat. But it’s all speculation, of course. I agree, it would be an interesting thread to hear from the clientele……………. Link to post Share on other sites
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