bf in recovery has new female friend

[dkny27]

My bf is in rehab trying to recover from his disease of addiction. I get a call from his ex on tuesday night saying that he has been hanging out with this girl from a meeting he goes to. Now let me explain that his program is pretty strict and I can only visit him on saturdays from 12-4 or if he takes a 4 hour pass (all he is allowed) on sunday. Things have been fine. He really wanted me to go visit him last saturday, but I work saturdays. he was going to take his pass on monday and go to a meeting that he enjoys near our old place, which was fine with me because his recovery comes first. well, he calls me monday and tells me he is on restriction, he got caught talking on someone's cell phone and now cant have any passes or phone for 2 weeks. his ex calls me tuesday to tell me about the other girl and that he was with her on sunday, wanted to stop by her house and see his son. she said no way. She wanted me to know because she thought what he was doing was wrong and that if she didnt tell me, i wouldn't know. She also informed me he is not on restriction. I freaked out. my bf tried to explain on wednesday. we didnt end up talking till thursday. he admitted to lying about restriction, but said his sponser told him he should break up with me because it might not be healthy for his recovery. He said sponser told him to tell me he was on restriction for 2 weeks and to think about our relationship. He promised me other girl is a friend. ex gives me girls #. I call her just to ask what going on...was very nice, explained situation and she said they were just friends, nothing going on, except that they went to meetinggs all week together and were together sunday. bf says it was only 2 times they went to meetings together and the other times she was at the meeting but he didn't go with her. his ex has no reason to make this up cause she is happily in a long term realtionship. I don't know who's lying to me. bf has lied before due to his addiction, but has never cheated on any of his gf's ever. so new girl says they were together all week (which I knew nothing of) and then bf begs me to visit sat...which i did cause I missed him. then he hangs out with new girl sunday instead of me...even though he has seen her all week! then he tells me there were 2 other people with the, and he wanted to have time with friends, ect. told him he needs to tell me that instead of lie to me and be shady behind my back.

 

things seemed ok, but I cant get it out of my head. he claims he loves me, wants to be with me, even though sponser suggested we break up and that girl is just a friend, he doesn't like her like that. I dont care if he has female friends but he never mentioned her and i would have never know if ex didnt blow the whislte on him. He said shes causing drama cause she's mad about him not spending time with his son. I dont know who's lying.

 

I just cant let it go. we got into it again today and it sucks. i don't know what to do.

[mark982]

your bf mind right now is a bundle of mixed emotions, mainly from withdrawl from his addiction.it takes a long time for ones mind to clear up(for me it was 2 years) from the addiction fog.so this is a tuff call,knowing what i put my loved ones thru. all i can wish you is the best of luck,and play it by ear. but the first priorty is your bf's recovery.

[dkny27]

Yes, I understand his recovery comes first. We have been talking a lot the past few days and I feel alot better about things now. I am going to go out on a limb and trust him. He really has no reason to lie to me about this. He has been loyal in all his relationships in the past, he was also cheated on before so he knows how that feels. I guess I was just overwhelmed last night and needed to vent. I am glad that we both could talk it out and try to put it behind us. Thank you for your response.