Little stressed about the distance

[audiophile]

Hey guys, I just needed to let some things out of my chest and I just need a little encouragement

 

I'm a 23 year college student in Boston and I'm engaged to this wonderful girl that I met in New Jersey. She's originally from Brazil but she just came for a visit to relax and sort of sight see. Right now she's in Korea to study at seoul university and it sort of makes me a little bit paranoid and depressed. Right before she left for Korea (she was in brazil at that moment), she was drinking with a couple of her friends and I told her to call me the moment she gets home so I would know. But there was no answer or anything and I stayed up all night crying and freaking out not knowing where she is and around 8am my time she calls me saying sorry and how she lost her phone and she came home at midnight. It made me feel a little bit better to know that she came home early but still I'm just scared that this will happen again in korea. What makes it worse is that I have really bad anxiety issues and she knows about it. I mean I do trust her and she promised not to drink again until she sees me but there's a thing where the students there make the freshmen drink a lot of soju (korean rice alcohol) and I'm just scared she might get pressured into it.

 

Right now I'm just scared and paranoid about this. What do you guys think I should do? We do communicate everyday and we never missed a day but I'm just still scared this might happen again. Thanks a lot for reading!

[Island Girl]

There is a lot of insecurity in your relationship. Why?

 

You are engaged to be married, correct? Do you feel she takes the level of commitment as seriously as you do?

 

Believe me I understand there is insecurity in an LDR but when you get to the point that marriage is not only being discussed but is the agreed upon next step there should be some confidence in that.

 

Insecurity is one thing and neediness is another. You have to careful because if your reaction is to cry and freak out she could very well start seeing you as needy and that may push her away.

 

Just have a frank discussion about being able to rely on each other and all you have are each others words to follow right now so it is important that you still show each other consistently that you are not an after thought.