OpenBook Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 All these avatar eyes staring out at me, whoa. :D I really, truly believe that men are excellent liars, and they will do/say anything, whatever it takes, to get back in their W's good graces again. They will also lie like a rug to the OW... again to get whatever it is they're after. Although I do think it would be harder for them to get away with it with their W's because she knows him so well and for so long. She knows where all his buttons are. But then again, you never really know another person... no matter how many years you spend together. Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 By saying this, you're saying that herenow is lying then. And I doubt she is. The cheating spouse will tell ALL - they'll do ANYTHING to keep from losing their marriage once everything is out in the open. The BS will DEMAND that everything be out on the table. They have no choice. And by then the cheater has already been exposed. So of course they'll tell all. They have too much to lose by NOT telling. eeehhh , one can demand all they want, but if they have fear of coming clean, they will stick to their story... Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 All these avatar eyes staring out at me, whoa. :D I really, truly believe that men are excellent liars, and they will do/say anything, whatever it takes, to get back in their W's good graces again. They will also lie like a rug to the OW... again to get whatever it is they're after. Although I do think it would be harder for them to get away with it with their W's because she knows him so well and for so long. She knows where all his buttons are. But then again, you never really know another person... no matter how many years you spend together. Exactly.. you'd be surprised how good they are at lying.. and the BS will believe everything because she doesn't want to face the harsh reality... it's like putting her head in the sand to protect herself.. Link to post Share on other sites
OpenBook Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 But Hello, if they are lying, cheating bastards, why would they tell the truth, especially if their ass is on the line. You beat me to it, Mino. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 I agree with a lot of what you said Mino but we've seen quite a few stories on here from BS's (wives AND husbands) who demanded the full story, nothing but the truth and got it. With all the gory details and everything. Some of them even said they almost wished they hadn't asked to hear it all...but they got it. Why? Because the cheating spouse had too much to lose if they DIDN'T tell. That's the part I'm not sure you understand. They get backed into a corner, and they've already been found out, so what more do they have to lose by NOT telling what the BS wants to hear - and that would be the truth about all of it. Some of these cheaters are genuinely remorseful and sorry and want to start fresh. And so they unload it all. See what I mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 I am just saying ow didnt have a meltdown because he treated her like **** and she couldnt have what she wanted, He promised her something, Yup... SOMETHING, Meltdown for a short term affair, no no... meltdown because he promised and didnt follow through... Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 I agree with a lot of what you said Mino but we've seen quite a few stories on here from BS's (wives AND husbands) who demanded the full story, nothing but the truth and got it. With all the gory details and everything. Some of them even said they almost wished they hadn't asked to hear it all...but they got it. Why? Because the cheating spouse had too much to lose if they DIDN'T tell. That's the part I'm not sure you understand. They get backed into a corner, and they've already been found out, so what more do they have to lose by NOT telling what the BS wants to hear - and that would be the truth about all of it. Some of these cheaters are genuinely remorseful and sorry and want to start fresh. And so they unload it all. See what I mean?oh I agree there are cheaters that are remorseful, no doubt. I think herenow H is one, they have moved on, healed their M and are happy again. And herenow, I am sorry, I did not want to say any thing that may hurt you, not my intent at all. But What I am saying is some will take the truth to there grave... out of fear of hurting and losing the BW. You know stick to the story, make it sound like he was at least an ******* in the A, so w would think it was maybe not so bad, like an EA with PA... The lesser evil would be only a PA... Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 oh I agree there are cheaters that are remorseful, no doubt. I think herenow H is one, they have moved on, healed their M and are happy again. And herenow, I am sorry, I did not want to say any thing that may hurt you, not my intent at all. But What I am saying is some will take the truth to there grave... out of fear of hurting and losing the BW. You know stick to the story, make it sound like he was at least an ******* in the A, so w would think it was maybe not so bad, like an EA with PA... The lesser evil would be only a PA... No I don't think I was spared anything to make my H look better. As a matter of fact, he knew that any variance from the whole truth meant that our marriage would be over. What you need to understand is that I'm not getting these facts from my H, I'm getting them from the OW herself. There were many VM's and emails that told he story very well. Much better than my H would ever be able to do in his own words. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 What's the problem with people not celebrating VD?! Some of us show our love everyday of the year and don't feel the need to do what the commercials tell us to do. I don't wait for a special day to get my H a gift. Neither he for me. I don't get why that stood out to anyone. Some people don't celebrate any holidays. Are we now going to point to those people and imply that their is something wrong with their relationships too? I happen to think that Valentine's Day is for Suckers! Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 I am just saying ow didnt have a meltdown because he treated her like **** and she couldnt have what she wanted, He promised her something, Yup... SOMETHING, Meltdown for a short term affair, no no... meltdown because he promised and didnt follow through... Consider that she may not be as stable as your are and her meltdowns were out of frustration that she wasn't getting her way. Kind of like a child. She wanted those promises you speak about and she wasn't getting them. Neither was I for that matter. I just didn't know it at the time. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Consider that she may not be as stable as your are and her meltdowns were out of frustration that she wasn't getting her way. Kind of like a child. She wanted those promises you speak about and she wasn't getting them. Neither was I for that matter. I just didn't know it at the time. I disagree with Mino. OWs seem to assume that something was promised even if it was never verbalized. Look at Kismet's threads. He NEVER promises her anything and yet she overanalyzes things so much she comes to the conclusion that him just showing up means that he must feel something. I doubt your H promised his former OW anything. She probably was just jealous of what he had with you (he kept going home to you, after all) and was having meltdowns because she figured she was doing all the right things to get him and he still wasn't "hers". Link to post Share on other sites
herenow Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 I disagree with Mino. OWs seem to assume that something was promised even if it was never verbalized. Look at Kismet's threads. He NEVER promises her anything and yet she overanalyzes things so much she comes to the conclusion that him just showing up means that he must feel something. I doubt your H promised his former OW anything. She probably was just jealous of what he had with you (he kept going home to you, after all) and was having meltdowns because she figured she was doing all the right things to get him and he still wasn't "hers". Oh sure she thought they were meant to be together. Soul-mates and all that. She even had a pet name for him and complained when he didn't have one for her. Again, in an email so I got to read it with my own eyes. Any promises she may have thought were made were only in her fantasy world. Like I said, he never told her any different, so she was left to believe whatever she wanted. And that was fine with him because he was still getting all that sex. She was a sex buffet waiting for him whenever he wanted. She never said no to anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Mino Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Consider that she may not be as stable as your are and her meltdowns were out of frustration that she wasn't getting her way. Kind of like a child. She wanted those promises you speak about and she wasn't getting them. Neither was I for that matter. I just didn't know it at the time.I have had meltdowns myself in the past. I admit, but it was because mm didnt follow through with the promises he made, so I guess I am going off of myself.But again each A is different Link to post Share on other sites
Tony Posted February 25, 2009 Senior Moderators Share Posted February 25, 2009 This thread became seriously off topic in most cases about 50 or more posts ago. Time to close it up. I'm too tired to give infractions now. I'll rest up and stop back by for that. PLEASE LEARN, SOMEHOW, TO STAY ON THE TOPIC OF THE THREAD...OR START YOUR OWN!!! Many thanks for your cooperation. Link to post Share on other sites
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