White Flower Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I have wondered with so many of the OW/OM on this forum what kind of outing or get together you all celebrate with your MM/MW? Seems likely that it would be either the day before or the day after V-Day, mainly not to tip off the spouse. Maybe it's just that I wasn't paying attention to what he was doing the day before or after V-Day... I'm trying to remember when I was married what my xH did on the day of V-Day; makes me wonder when he said he was going out shopping if he was actually meeting her for breakfast or lunch during his "shopping" excursion. Also makes me wonder if the OW/OM have hurt feelings knowing that he/she still has the remainder of the day planned with the spouse. One year it was perfect; he brought me lingerie and I wore it for him. It was actually V-Day and it felt very special until he left early. I wondered who the hell he was going to visit after me. Another year he surprised me with an early in the week visit with a card and a rose. It was a nice surprise, but I was not prepared because it was 3 or 4 days before V-Day and I thought we would get together the day before or on V-Day. Yes, I got hurt knowing he was going to go home, celebrate V-Day extravagantly with his W and their group of friends with dancing, drinking, and merry making. Made our little get-together seem so drab. And yes, he used the 'I'm going to be out shopping for you honey' excuse when he was really with me. I know, I don't like it either. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 I don't really care much for VD. Its all a commercial gimmick to help make stores more money. But anyway, on topic comment following. I read somewhere that restauranteurs actually stated that Feb 13th was the day that MM took out their OW because they saw them come again to their establishments on Feb 14th with the woman they knew to be the man's W!!! I thought that was hilarious. Imagine that... Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2sunny Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 wow, so restaurants are not only busy on the 14th - but also steady busy for a few days before and a few days after? ok, i never thought of it that way before. i know a lot of folks stayed in this year as opposed to prior years... maybe it was that way with the OW/OM as well... either way - now i'm sort of wondering what kind of gifts the MM/MW gave to the OW/OM in there lives? is it always something sexy - or is it practical things as well? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 wow, so restaurants are not only busy on the 14th - but also steady busy for a few days before and a few days after? ok, i never thought of it that way before. i know a lot of folks stayed in this year as opposed to prior years... maybe it was that way with the OW/OM as well... either way - now i'm sort of wondering what kind of gifts the MM/MW gave to the OW/OM in there lives? is it always something sexy - or is it practical things as well? Why do you care what men like that give their sluts? I don't get it. It wouldn't matter to me at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2sunny Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 Why do you care what men like that give their sluts? I don't get it. It wouldn't matter to me at all. it's not that i care - i don't, or didn't when i started the thread. i'm only curious about it after reading the posts. i am trying to remember what happened between my xH and me during the days before and the days after V-Day, i honestly never considered about whether or not he was with me in the days leading up to the day or after... i think as a wife - i was only focused on the fact that he was with me on V-Day. so now i am really wondering... did i miss a sign i should have seen through the years? should i have known? then - in the next breathe... doesn't matter - what's done is done. so - at this point it's more educational than anything. fascinating really, what people come up with, or settle for. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Wow, getting a little harsh in here. FWIW, I think each MM is different and views their OWs in various ways depending on why they seek an R outside the M. In my case, I believe his W commanded (notice I did not say demanded) wining and dining and fine gifts (as she should); therefore, needed an OW to be less demanding. He never said it, but I think for him it was true. Again, not speaking for all MMs out there or their Ws. And it is ridiculous to believe that all OWs are sluts. In fact, most I have met are warm, intelligent, and the kindest people one can know. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 it's not that i care - i don't, or didn't when i started the thread. i'm only curious about it after reading the posts. i am trying to remember what happened between my xH and me during the days before and the days after V-Day, i honestly never considered about whether or not he was with me in the days leading up to the day or after... i think as a wife - i was only focused on the fact that he was with me on V-Day. so now i am really wondering... did i miss a sign i should have seen through the years? should i have known? then - in the next breathe... doesn't matter - what's done is done. so - at this point it's more educational than anything. fascinating really, what people come up with, or settle for. We posted at the same time 2sunny! It is interesting what people settle for. At the beginning of my A I was so full of hope, excitement, and the 'what-ifs'. All I could think about was how unhappy we both were in our Ms and that we should and would get out of them and creat a warm, loving, and fulfilling life with each other. After time passed and I realized it was not going to happen I really settled. It was the same thing over and over and over. Yes, I was in love and enjoyed every little conversation, every little encounter, but all it was ever going to be was settling. I was surprised at finding myself settling. Then I got out. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Wow, getting a little harsh in here. OUCH! I guess if you can't take the heat you should get out of the kitchen, no? FWIW, I think each MM is different and views their OWs in various ways depending on why they seek an R outside the M. In my case, I believe his W commanded (notice I did not say demanded) wining and dining and fine gifts (as she should); therefore, needed an OW to be less demanding. He never said it, but I think for him it was true. Again, not speaking for all MMs out there or their Ws. And it is ridiculous to believe that all OWs are sluts. In fact, most I have met are warm, intelligent, and the kindest people one can know. :laugh:I'll bet so. I don't know. The kindest people I've ever met don't screw other women's husbands. But what do I know anyway? I live in a protected little bubble and supposedly one day I'm going to wake up to the full reality of my choices and pay for my decisions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2sunny Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 Wow, getting a little harsh in here. FWIW, I think each MM is different and views their OWs in various ways depending on why they seek an R outside the M. In my case, I believe his W commanded (notice I did not say demanded) wining and dining and fine gifts (as she should); therefore, needed an OW to be less demanding. He never said it, but I think for him it was true. Again, not speaking for all MMs out there or their Ws. And it is ridiculous to believe that all OWs are sluts. In fact, most I have met are warm, intelligent, and the kindest people one can know. i don't want this thread to seem harsh... that wasn't the intention when i started it. i do agree the reference to slut is uncalled for - normally i find the OW here at LS to be nice women in circumstances that they would not choose to be involved in. i feel sad that there situation causes great pain in many lives. the blame (or shortcoming) should be placed with the married person who chooses to cheat. i will always encourage the OW to make healthier choices for themselves - in order to have the power to choose a happy future for herself - either alone or with an available mate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2sunny Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 :laugh:I'll bet so. I don't know. The kindest people I've ever met don't screw other women's husbands. But what do I know anyway? I live in a protected little bubble and supposedly one day I'm going to wake up to the full reality of my choices and pay for my decisions. what the heck? Touche' why do you seem "not yourself" tonight? your postings here and on other threads are making me feel concern for your mood tonight... you alright honey? i really want to say - lighten up a bit sweetie... Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 what the heck? Touche' why do you seem "not yourself" tonight? your postings here and on other threads are making me feel concern for your mood tonight... you alright honey? i really want to say - lighten up a bit sweetie... Huh? I'm myself. What part of any of my posts tells you otherwise? What was so wrong or "off" about my last post on here? Are you saying you disagree with me? If so, that's fine. You're certainly entitled to your opinion. As I am to mine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2sunny Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 Huh? I'm myself. What part of any of my posts tells you otherwise? What was so wrong or "off" about my last post on here? Are you saying you disagree with me? If so, that's fine. You're certainly entitled to your opinion. As I am to mine. sure you're entitled... it's more so all of your posts tonight that i've seen that makes me concerned for you. something seems out of balance. i'm only comparing to your usual consistent style - tonight it seems that you are sporting a sharper edge. don't know why - just the way i'm reading it... Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 wow, so restaurants are not only busy on the 14th - but also steady busy for a few days before and a few days after? ok, i never thought of it that way before. i know a lot of folks stayed in this year as opposed to prior years... maybe it was that way with the OW/OM as well... either way - now i'm sort of wondering what kind of gifts the MM/MW gave to the OW/OM in there lives? is it always something sexy - or is it practical things as well? I'd thought about it as I know lots of OWs and MM, but most W's don't think about it as they are only or mainly concerned with the actual day. VD is the most common dday. If my H was having his EA during this time, I wouldn't have noticed because we don't celebrate the day. He has lots of autonomy so he wouldn't have needed to come up with a lie to be absent. But it is interesting. But hilarious that the wait staff at the restaurants were talking behind the scenes. I don't know if I would be able to be professional under such circumstances (towards the married cheat, that is). Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 :laugh:I'll bet so. I don't know. The kindest people I've ever met don't screw other women's husbands. But what do I know anyway? I live in a protected little bubble and supposedly one day I'm going to wake up to the full reality of my choices and pay for my decisions. I'm quite sure you will. All people do. I was under the impression that 2sunny wanted to know other peoples experiences with the Valentine's holiday and directed her questions to those who were either OWs or BSs with experience on the subject. 2sunny, you ask valid questions and I understand that knowing all the perspectives gives you clarity on the subject. I hope you find all your answers in this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2sunny Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 I'm quite sure you will. All people do. I was under the impression that 2sunny wanted to know other peoples experiences with the Valentine's holiday and directed her questions to those who were either OWs or BSs with experience on the subject. 2sunny, you ask valid questions and I understand that knowing all the perspectives gives you clarity on the subject. I hope you find all your answers in this thread. well, i always consider all sides of any coin without the judgement most people tend to carry. seeing the way V-Day played out for so many different folks here on LS got me wondering - and feeling a bit sad for the OW here... that they deserve so much more, better things for their lives in order to be happy, or healthy. and i had no idea V-Day = D-Day for a lot of peeps... is that true? wow, so sad - what a terrible day to be enlightened. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 well, i always consider all sides of any coin without the judgement most people tend to carry. seeing the way V-Day played out for so many different folks here on LS got me wondering - and feeling a bit sad for the OW here... that they deserve so much more, better things for their lives in order to be happy, or healthy. and i had no idea V-Day = D-Day for a lot of peeps... is that true? wow, so sad - what a terrible day to be enlightened. I have not read the stats on it, but I can definitely see a correlation. I remember getting a single rose and a card one year from MM and wondered if his W got a huge bouquet and gifts besides the gala night out with friends. That kind of thing definitely reminds one of re-evaluating her value! I know I did. And I enjoy looking at both sides of the coin as well. One can see whether the coin is counterfeit that way. Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Why do you care what men like that give their sluts? I don't get it. It wouldn't matter to me at all. Touche, ("Too-ch"?) ("Too-shay"?) I read, and re-read what you typed above three times. I think your words are absolutely vile. Labeling people as sluts so casually is beyond the pale. The above leads me to believe you have serious anger problems, possibly other emotional problems as well. You might want to spend some time with clergy or a counselor finding out. In my experiance that kind of anger can poison one's life. Be well Touche, and try considering compassion, it can be rewarding. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 2sunny Posted February 19, 2009 Author Share Posted February 19, 2009 it seemed like she was a bit "off" or not herself that night... Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 In the past, how we celebrated VD depended on where we were at the time, whether together in the same country or not. If not, it was typically all evening together (and as much of the work day as possible) together on Skype or other video chat so that we could "be" together. If we were in the same place, we'd go out somewhere elegant in his country, or have an intimate beach picnic if we were in my country where it's summer, and spend the evening gazing into each other's eyes getting all soppy. Gifts were typically romantic rather than practical - lingerie, evening dresses, killer shoes... and I'd typically get him something analogous. Cards, flowers, chocolates - all the usual accompaniments, too. This year was different. We celebrated the day with a wedding reception for our closest friends in the most beautiful surroundings, and followed up with an intimate evening meal for just the two of us, before setting off on our honeymoon. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 it seemed like she was a bit "off" or not herself that night... Uhm, no. I was being honest. Sorry, I am not "PC" enough for some of you. Labeling me as having "emotional problems" is what is beyond the pale and vile. How presumptuous. Oh and LSD, my compassion is there for those who deserve it. Link to post Share on other sites
jasminetea Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 and the kindest people one can know. Blimey! :eek: I'd hate to meet the unkind ones! Link to post Share on other sites
OWoman Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Blimey! :eek: I'd hate to meet the unkind ones! They're here - only not OWs, usually. Link to post Share on other sites
jasminetea Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 They're here - only not OWs, usually. Oh I dunno, anyone who's prepared to refer to the entire population of two towns as racist bigots is pretty unkind in my book. Actually, unkind is an understatement, unhinged is more accurate Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Oh I dunno, anyone who's prepared to refer to the entire population of two towns as racist bigots is pretty unkind in my book. Actually, unkind is an understatement, unhinged is more accurate You know what the issue is here? Some of us have a VERY different definition of what "unkind" means. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizzie60 Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Touche, ("Too-ch"?) ("Too-shay"?) I read, and re-read what you typed above three times. I think your words are absolutely vile. Labeling people as sluts so casually is beyond the pale. The above leads me to believe you have serious anger problems, possibly other emotional problems as well. You might want to spend some time with clergy or a counselor finding out. In my experiance that kind of anger can poison one's life. Be well Touche, and try considering compassion, it can be rewarding. Well said.. methink some people with those anger problems have greater issues in real life.. but they try their best to hide them.. but they are sooo transparent.. pathetic.. Link to post Share on other sites
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