My awkward story.

[M.Can]

Firstly, I am really glad I found a great community like this that people can share opinions about relationships, especially LDR ones, not so many people tries that around me, so people are talking all around me giving advices, sometimes they work or not, but I think it is time to share my story with people who really knows about this stuff, considering my case.

 

I'm from Istanbul, Turkey, 19 years old, majoring chemistry in a fine university. I am sure many of you heard of the social networking site, facebook. It was a huge hype among friends, I have wanted to find my elementary school friends and wanted to check it out. Normally, I can assure you that I find internet relationships stupid and unnecessary (Had my share falling in *love* with the tourists I have met in summer when I was a junior in high school, heh, so I know they are really hard to be real and mostly disappointing). After around 1 year registering the site, couple of months later after I broke up with my ex-gf, I was adding some peope randomly from all around the world, probably because I am planning to leave my country after I get my degree and setup a masters program abroad. I was also interested in politics in U.S recently, mostly about Barack Obama, so I talked to couple of Americans and got their opinions about the man, there was this girl that (17), I have spent great time talking with..Firstly both us didn't mean anything but casual means of chatting, like 20 min max in a week, after a while getting to know each other, I have realised that I started to like her. After couple of days of talking normally, I just told her how I feel and she said it is mutual, normally we are both normal people not trying to find anything we need on the internet, but something in her really triggered me (She is really nothing like I have ever seen before, it is not about the looks though.. really). After that day we talked for hours non-stop, and finally we decided that we love each other. First 2 months was great, we talked on the phone for so much, We bought each other gifts, even we were so far away from each other, Things were going to be okay because I was coming to see her at the summer, probably for 2 months. My school was in semester break for 2 months (I am actually typing this before getting ready to school) so we talked ENDLESSLY, we both agreed it was not healthy at all, but we simply couldn't get enough of each other, there were troubles recently, she was doubting about some issues and luckily we managed to figure them out well. But recently, I really don't know why she says this but, She doesn't love me anymore. I have had my relationships before, I was always looking for a girl like her and no one loved me so much like her. She told me at first she tried to love me again but for the last 3 days she didn't feel anything. She is naive and innocent, and had a boyfriend before left her with a broken heart. But thats not the reason I am afraid, this happened few times before in last week, but she kept coming back at me. I think I was too selfish and didn't give the poor girl some space. I cannot do anything to change her mind. Previous 2 months were great if we both look overall... I just want things back to be normal again..What should I be doing but waiting? She is too important for me O_o

[Island Girl]

Firstly, I am really glad I found a great community like this that people can share opinions about relationships

 

Welcome. In the future you should break up your posts into paragraphs so they are easier to read.

 

But recently, I really don't know why she says this but, She doesn't love me anymore. I have had my relationships before, I was always looking for a girl like her and no one loved me so much like her. She told me at first she tried to love me again but for the last 3 days she didn't feel anything. She is naive and innocent, and had a boyfriend before left her with a broken heart. But thats not the reason I am afraid, this happened few times before in last week, but she kept coming back at me.

 

First - she is 17. Not many of us are ready - really ready -for "forever" at 17 years old.

 

That said the first time she told you that she didn't love you when she came back - you should have been a bit more cautious with her and made her work her way back to where you were as far as trust and devotion go.

 

But the second time she should have been in the dog house - meaning you should have informed her that YOU had to think about it because you can not be devoted to someone who just starts and stops things like that.

 

You took her back without question over and over so now she has no respect for you or your relationship. So whatever drove her to start saying that in the first place just became stronger and stronger.

 

I am sorry. But the only thing you CAN do is wait. And if she does come around then you need to go really slowly and not just pick up where you left off.

 

If she doesn't come around then you have to accept that and move on.

 

I wish you well.

[M.Can]

Sorry about the paragraphs

 

I guess you are right, but she said at least she doesn't try to break up with me when she feels that way (But she did anyway, damn). I probably got carried away somehow and let her got away with that, anyway, my school has started so I have less time to think about her, I really have some hope that everything is going to be fine. Thanks for the reply.