SophieA Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Just wanted to take a moment to introduce myself and say how happy I am to have stumbled upon this forum. From what I have read so far, it seems there are a lot of wonderful, helpful people here. My situation: I am 23 y/o been w/ my boyfriend for over 5 years and he will be leaving for Ross University soon for medical school. I'll be staying here. (midwest, USA) We will be long distance for at least 2 years. I am very nervous about going from seeing eachother 3 times a week, to seeing eachother maybe 3 times a year. Just wanted to know if anyone has been through a similar situation...not only will we be dealing w/ the distance...but with the grueling schedule of medical school. Any tips/advice/suggestions would be so appreciated. Thanks in advance. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 I'm in the same boat. Which year of med school is he entering? In my experience, the first few years (non-clinical) are pretty much like any other full-time course. The last few years of clinical studies are worse because they're pretty much interns by then.. but no worse than the average hard worker, in my country at least. It all depends on the particular university, of course. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SophieA Posted February 16, 2009 Author Share Posted February 16, 2009 Hi Elswyth! It is very nice to know I am not alone. He will be starting his 1st year of med school. Unfortunately, due to some debt that I have to pay off (my own student loans, car payment, apartment lease that isn't up yet, etc) I am unable to join him on the island for probably 2 years, if I decide to go at all. (Have a good job I'm not sure it'd be a smart move...) What year is your s/o in? Have you been long distance the entire time and what is a med student's schedule like? Gee, I am full of questions! Well, thanks for replying. Nice to know others are going through this too. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 My guy's in his 4th year. His schedule depends on which module they're currently in -- generally the ones involving hospitals and various specializations are busier, as you'd need to trail the MOs around the hospital for a full day, and sometimes even during on-call/emergency. On-call sessions are the most brutal things a student could ever endure, I think... I'm hard-pressed to think of any other student who'd have to go through 16-hour days. Again, it depends on the medical school itself though. Going off on a tangent here, Sophie, but I just feel the sudden need to rant about people who think that us girls hook up with med students because we want free lunches! They don't realize the amount of strength, perseverance and effort it takes to keep up a relationship (especially LDR) with an SO who has all the unique schedules and pressures that such a challenging course can cause... they've no idea. Don't let them discourage you... all the best in your LDR! Link to post Share on other sites
Author SophieA Posted February 16, 2009 Author Share Posted February 16, 2009 Oh, agreed 100%!! Even some of my best friends are now saying "Oh, well he's going to be rich, you'll have such a cushy life, blah, blah, blah..." And I'm thinking....apparently you've forgotten that when he's done with medical school we will have hundreds of thousands of student loans to pay off... Not to mention I am educated and extremely independent. I don't want (or need) to be taken care of! (I guess as long as our s/o's know this no one else's opinions on the subject should matter.) It is just frustrating that there are those sterotypes out there...that all doctor's wifes/gf's are just pampered snobs that hire nannies to raise their kids and run around spending their s/o's paychecks... getting their nails and hair done...buying 500.00 pairs of shoes. Ugh. It sickens me! Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Indeed, if I had the choice, I'd much prefer my guy to be an artist/writer/programmer etc etc, who'd actually be AROUND, who wouldn't have to study the next 10 years of his life for his sub-spec, whom I wouldn't need to jump through hoops to just spend my future with, since if anyone's moving it'll have to be me. But it's his career choice and I'm all for supporting that... besides, there's just something about that drive and ambition that I find quite sexy! Glad to see there's someone who agrees with me! Btw, if you manage to find a job there, you still can't move before you've paid off your loans? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SophieA Posted February 16, 2009 Author Share Posted February 16, 2009 Indeed, if I had the choice, I'd much prefer my guy to be an artist/writer/programmer etc etc, who'd actually be AROUND, who wouldn't have to study the next 10 years of his life for his sub-spec, whom I wouldn't need to jump through hoops to just spend my future with, since if anyone's moving it'll have to be me. OMG! Completely agree. I often think "gosh, I'm making all these sacrifices" but he is so so worth it. And I completely believe that you have to support them 100% or it will never work. As for me moving down there...I am going back to school to get my Master's degree so I will have two years of school to get through before I can think of moving down there with him. How long did you and your s/o do LDR? I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around him leaving...we're used to seeing eachother about 2 or 3 times a week and he is just my absolute best friend, I love him to bits. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Been just less than a year so far.. I'm not nearly as experienced as some who post on this board, I absolutely salute those like IslandGirl who've done LDR for 7 years or so! Would you consider going to his university for your Masters? Or they don't have the course you'd want? I keep thinking that when I graduate from my professional degree I'll definitely, by hook or by crook, get to his country somehow... but the problem is I'm not too sure how, and I suppose it's not just that easy.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SophieA Posted February 16, 2009 Author Share Posted February 16, 2009 Yeah, 7 years?! I can't even imagine... Unfortunately his school is strictly med/vet school so I couldn't take classes there to get my master's. Were you and your bf together in the same place before he went away? Do you have a schedule set up where you know when you guys will talk/visit each other? I am clueless LOL. I imagine it must be difficult with his super busy schedule. Right now I know that I will be going to visit him on the island in August 09 and he'll come visit me in December 09. Other than that...it's up in the air... I wish you the best of luck too. How long have you two been together? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Yes, we were in the same place, same college even, but ironically we were just very good friends then. Things developed online after he'd left, and he came back for the summer break last year. Parting again was the hardest thing. Nope we aren't the kind of people who can stick to a schedule, although I know a lot of people who do the scheduled-talk thing. I do sort-of know when he'll be awake and at home, though, and so does he. We both have internet and phone access so it's easier.. I hope your guy does too? Skype is a life-saver! Link to post Share on other sites
LDR Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Hi. I am in 4th year in med school and in a LDR. I live in the US and my bf in Europe. Its doable. The worse year for me was the 2nd as we had to take the USMLE part 1 and it was very stressful. 3rd and 4th year, as the previous posters had said are clinical but our schedule (in terms of call) are not as bad as an intern's would be (we have call once a week). those days we text, but even with our time difference we always talk each day (MSN mostly). I always make time for him and he is very understanding too. There should be no excuse for not communicating for days or anything like that because of the workload. Good luck! Those 4 years will go by fast Link to post Share on other sites
Magpies Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 In case you don't know, there's a popular forum for med students and there's even a thread for their significant others: http://forums.studentdoctor.net/ I suggest you look-up your bf's med school and check-out the course outline. It will give you a rough idea of what he'll be learning and going through. That forum is also a really great link. As for people assuming you'll get a "free-ride" only people that do not have family or relations to anyone in the medical field think this way. People that do have ties know the opposite! There is a surprisingly high amount of new doctors on welfare because once they first start their clinicals, their loans are due as well and the first few years it pays really, really, really low compared to the blood, sweat, and tears, everyone has to go through. That's if his family isn't loaded. It's very difficult to be in a relationship with anyone that requires such a considerable amount of time for their profession. I commend all of you who are going through it. Best of luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author SophieA Posted February 17, 2009 Author Share Posted February 17, 2009 LDR- Thank you It is so encouraging to hear from people that are making things work. Magpies- I didn't realize there was a thread for s/o's on studentdoctor. Thanks for the information Link to post Share on other sites
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