moimeme Posted October 2, 2003 Share Posted October 2, 2003 Me again LOL. Using LS to self-comfort and distract myself from a big heap o' stress. Brain usually rapidfires off ideas and questions in droves at the best of times; today I'm tossing some of them out here. Hokey said:My husband had a difficult time understanding that just because I did not compliment him, did not mean that I didn't love him or respect him, etc. Just as when he complimented me it didn't mean to me what he had hoped it would. I always wondered what he wanted or what I needed to do! When he realized that it really doesn't mean anything when I don't say something he was fine. Have you come across Gary Chapman's 'Five Love Languages'? Very interesting stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 I've added it to my list of books to read. I checked the website and it sounds very interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted October 4, 2003 Moderators Share Posted October 4, 2003 What's the overall theme of the book moi? What kinds of things does it deal with? Curt Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 the 5 languages of love are, approximately: gifts physical touch quality time help verbal admiration The book's about learning which language(s) your lover speaks, and speaking to him/her in those. That's what I gathered from a website dedicated to this book. -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author moimeme Posted October 6, 2003 Author Share Posted October 6, 2003 Sorry for not getting back to you sooner, Curt. I've had the 'pleasure' of reloading my machine and I'm still only half through You asked: What's the overall theme of the book moi? What kinds of things does it deal with? BTW, I have only skimmed the book briefly but I read some articles by him. Yes got most of it but the premise is that individuals have different 'love languages'. Some people need to be loved through acts of service, others need quality time, gifts, physical affection, or affirmation. People tend to give in the 'love language' they hope to receive; so, for instance, you might perform acts of service for your lady and hope for acts of service back, but her love language may be gifts and so she would give you gifts and hope for gifts back. Apparently, disconnects between these 'love languages' can cause quite a bit of difficulty and lead to people actually feeling unloved. I guess, somewhere along the line, these things take on great significance for us. The idea is to take your cue for the 'love language' to use for your partner from the one she uses for you, even if it feels foreign to you. I know I'm an 'acts of service' type, but acts of service are almost meaningless to someone who needs words of affirmation. It's one more aspect of the issue about people in relationships having emotional needs that must be met for them to be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
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