BF or Friends, Is it possible to have both?

[Isis1808]

Im going to keep this short since i just have a few questions.

 

Im in a 2 year relationship with a 1 year old son and my BF thinks its good for the relationship that i give up my friends, since the majority of my friends are male. I completely understand why he would want me to give up my friendship with the exes, but with friends that i grew up with and are and will always be JUST friends, i dont understand. I love my BF and want to be with him but not if it means me having to be completely alone in order for him to be happy, what about my happiness is that even relevant to him. I was always told not to give up your friends for a BF but now that im the situation i dont know what i should do, think or say. My friends all now my SO and he knows them too, but he still insists on me giving them up. I dont agree, but at the same time i think that would be the best thing to keep my relationship. I want to keep my friends and keep my relationship happy but im not sure how i can do that. This is something thats really hurting me and i really see it right or fair. There are friends that he has that i feel are bad influences and i dont want him to be friends with, but i would never tell him to give up his friend. I already feel alone and unhappy giving up my friends will just make things worse.

 

Is that a good idea or fair for me to give up my friends in order to keep my relationship? Being that im not very happy, should i just keep my friends and see where my relationship goes?

 

Feedback will be greatly appreciated.

[VivaLaVida]

To tell you the truth, I thought a relationship was all about trust. Correct me if I'm wrong.

[Plato]

This is somebody who wants control so that he will not have to deal with his anxiety and jealousy...These things do not go away...

 

I am in a similar situation from the male side. I have problems dealing wiht her haveing several male friends...but I WILL not ask her to give up friends she loves...Period!

 

Your call...not a easy one!

[4givrnt4gtr]

:eek:DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR FRIENDS FOR A MAN :eek:!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Yes i mean to be extremely extremely urgent like with that message

 

I tell you this by personal experience.....DO NOT DO IT

 

A man I thought I was going to marry asked me to give up one of my best friends who happened to be a male. He made it look like it was more for me than for him, that i didnt need this friend, that really, if i look at it, he was bad for me.

 

and i fell for it

 

I told my friend i couldnt be friends with him anymore...he was crushed. This man, my friend, had been with me thru thick and thin. He was with me when his roomate broke my heart, he was with me when I needed serious help, even when the guy i thought I was gonna marry cheated on me, he was there to see me thru it and even supported me (though did not agree) when I decided to give him a second chance.

 

Well, not even a month later the relationship ended. He didnt even try to fight for me. I gave up my best friend for him and he didnt even try to save us.

 

I tried saying sorry for giving up our friendship, but my friend was too hurt to accept it.

 

I think giving up my friend for that guy was the one thing i will always ALWAYS regret......

 

I think you should talk to your bf in a calm manner. Explaining to him that although you understand his reason, he needs to understand that your friends are part of who you are, and if he truly cares and accept you for who you are, he truly needs to accept your friends. If not, then maybe he isnt the man you need in your life.

 

Whatever you do, do not put someone who has been in your life a very short time over the ones that have been stood next to you when you needed them...NEVER

[Isis1808]

Thanks a lot for the feedback, I will definitely talk to him more in depth about this and see where it goes.