colosseum Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Onegoal, I'm sorry to say but you have got to get a grip; forget about this girl and move on. You're definitely moving into the creeper/desperate stage which is not good for you, much less her. Like someone earlier said, 3billion+ women on this planet man. That's a LOT of fish in the sea; don't become dependant on one. It just isn't healthy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 So the person I talk to on a blues forum who works for the Blues told me he overheard this. thing is I NEVER asked her for her number or tried to find out her last name! Sounds like she flaked out. I never tried getting her last name. Just wanted to let you know I heard that xxx thinks you are stalking her and trying to get her last name and number and it is really freaking her out. She has gone to her supervisor about it and was upset about it. So just as a word of advice you might want to leave her alone and not talk with her anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 :lmao: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA - what a shocker. I hope you take what he said under advisement and leave the poor girl alone. I feel really bad for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 :lmao: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA - what a shocker. I hope you take what he said under advisement and leave the poor girl alone. I feel really bad for her. I am. But I never asked for her number, and I never tried to find her last name. I dont know where she came up with that at. She must been making stuff up. Girls tend to overreact to stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I am. But I never asked for her number, and I never tried to find her last name. I dont know where she came up with that at. She must been making stuff up. Girls tend to overreact to stuff. ...I asked to exchange phone #s... You're so full of crap. Besides - she probably was terrified you were TRYING to find her last name because you were obviously asking other people about her as you have mentioned in several posts before. You think these people don't tell her that you asked about her? Think again. So you've been scoping her out behind the scenes, and you've been persistent in person. I'd be scared you were looking for my last name, too. Hell, I'd be surprised if I were her and you hadn't gotten my address already and driven past a few times. I don't think she's over-reacting at all. I think you're a creep. Link to post Share on other sites
xenomaniac Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 I implore you: get help. You obviously have a track record of scaring the **** out of women. Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 This guy used to post under another account a long time ago, but the name escapes me. He posted a very similar story about stalking some friend of his he was interested but he refuses to listen to advice. I think the best solution, unfortunately, is to ignore his posts from now on. A) he's either a troll and/or B) he doesn't follow a word of advice anyway so why are we wasting our breath? And btw hi everyone I haven't been here for a while (for those that recognize me). Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted March 18, 2009 Author Share Posted March 18, 2009 I implore you: get help. You obviously have a track record of scaring the **** out of women. Why do girls get creeped so easily? Link to post Share on other sites
xenomaniac Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 We don't. Your approach is just exceptionally creepy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 i think you should try to make eye contact with her as often as possible, but not like creepy staring way. smile at her, DONT wink, thatd be creepy. after the game go up to her because im sure shell smile back at you and ask her to go grab some food or w.e. somewhere shell fell comfortable. if she sais no ask her maybe some other time? and sif she says no SHES totally not interested.....good luck. Even though she went to her boss and said she thinks Im stalking her, I still have a shot with her?? Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Even though she went to her boss and said she thinks Im stalking her, I still have a shot with her?? You have got to be kidding. Why don't you print out the Katherine McPhee thread and see what she thinks of that? If this is indeed real, and I'm not sure that it is, you need professional help. After reading this thread and the one I just mentioned, I think that this would be wise. I was stalked several years ago from a guy who just wouldn't take no for an answer. No matter what I said, he continued to believe that I would "come around". At one point I told him to never, ever, ever call me again. Two days later he called. When I asked him what part of "don't ever call me ever again" he didn't understand, he said he thought I just needed some time. After 2 days. You remind me of this guy. Never taking no for an answer. It is scary. Please leave her alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted March 19, 2009 Author Share Posted March 19, 2009 You have got to be kidding. Why don't you print out the Katherine McPhee thread and see what she thinks of that? If this is indeed real, and I'm not sure that it is, you need professional help. After reading this thread and the one I just mentioned, I think that this would be wise. I was stalked several years ago from a guy who just wouldn't take no for an answer. No matter what I said, he continued to believe that I would "come around". At one point I told him to never, ever, ever call me again. Two days later he called. When I asked him what part of "don't ever call me ever again" he didn't understand, he said he thought I just needed some time. After 2 days. You remind me of this guy. Never taking no for an answer. It is scary. Please leave her alone. Why are women not direct, and try and let guys down easy? Like why dont they just say NO if not interested? Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Why are women not direct, and try and let guys down easy? Like why dont they just say NO if not interested? Sometimes people don't want to hurt your feelings. Sometimes they are afraid of your reaction. Sometimes they are just cowards. Sometimes they have valid reasons and sometimes they don't. But none of that really matters. You need to be able to read the signs and know when to back off. I think this woman was very clear in her actions that she did not want to go out with you. Also, don't forget that you asked her out at her place of work. She may have been caught off guard by your request. She may not have been sure how to handle the situation in a professional manner. Have some consideration for her feelings. You need to examine why you obsess about people, and why you can't seem to let go. It is going to continue to be a problem for you. I'm sure that you have a lot to offer a woman, but until you figure yourself out a little bit, you aren't going to be able to have a healthy relationship. This could be a time of learning and growing for you if you can be brave and face it. Link to post Share on other sites
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Even though she went to her boss and said she thinks Im stalking her, I still have a shot with her?? SERIOUSLY - the person that made that post clearly hasn't followed every post in this thread. Imagine that what that person posted was in response to your very first post - then it makes sense. Otherwise, that person is just trying to get you arrested. No, you don't have another chance. Not a shot in hell. Link to post Share on other sites
SpanksTheMonkey Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Sounds ok. Problem is I dont want to sound nervous when asking. Should I take a xanax before hand? Yea ide go with xanax too! hey can I have some? My motto better living thu chemistry! Why not have a few beers during the game as well to help boost your confidence just make sure you don't over do it... sloppy drudged drunk not hot..lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 Should I apologize to her and tell her sorry if I came on too strong, and creeped her out? Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Should I apologize to her and tell her sorry if I came on too strong, and creeped her out? NO! She believes you are stalking her. Any attempt at conversation or contact will be viewed as yet another attempt at -- you guessed it! -- CONTACT. SHE WANTS NO CONTACT FROM YOU. NO CONTACT MEANS NOTHING FROM YOU. No waves. No smiles. No words or gestures of any kind. FROM NOW ON - FOREVER - ACT LIKE SHE DOES NOT EXIST. Is that clear enough for you?!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted March 25, 2009 Author Share Posted March 25, 2009 I decided to apologize to her before the game. I told her I was sorry if I was being too persistant with her when I kept asking her out, and said sorry I didn't get the hint "her not calling me after a few days" She said she accepts it, and wasn't mad at me about it. I did tell her if she doesn't want me to talk to her anymore, I can enter the other side of the section, but she said that's ok, she doesn't mind. I told her the reason why I asked her out cause she seems like a really nice person, and that I think she's really pretty, and she kinda blushed, laughed and said thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted March 25, 2009 Author Share Posted March 25, 2009 So based on her reactions to my apology was it a good thing? Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 So based on her reactions to my apology was it a good thing? Only if you now follow through and leave her alone, other than polite acknowledgement. Can you do that? Forever? Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 So based on her reactions to my apology was it a good thing? The fact that you did that and didn't go to JAIL is a good thing! Now do not push your luck and leave her alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author one goal Posted March 25, 2009 Author Share Posted March 25, 2009 I forgot to mention but since her reaction to my apology went well, and she giggled when I told her she seemed like a nice girl, and is pretty, would it be ok to ask her sometime if she wants to go for a drink after a game? I mean thats not asking her out, but just to talk. Would she view that as asking her out? Link to post Share on other sites
likestolaugh Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I forgot to mention but since her reaction to my apology went well, and she giggled when I told her she seemed like a nice girl, and is pretty, would it be ok to ask her sometime if she wants to go for a drink after a game? I mean thats not asking her out, but just to talk. Would she view that as asking her out? oh lord. This guy has got to be a troll or a total idiot. Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I forgot to mention but since her reaction to my apology went well, and she giggled when I told her she seemed like a nice girl, and is pretty, would it be ok to ask her sometime if she wants to go for a drink after a game? I mean thats not asking her out, but just to talk. Would she view that as asking her out? 1. you are ASKING 2. it is HER 3. to a place that is OUT = ASKING HER OUT. YES she will view it as asking her out. BECAUSE YOU ARE ASKING HER OUT. At this point I just wish you would and then you would get arrested, go to jail, and possibly may see what a SERIOUS PROBLEM YOU HAVE. You NEED to make an appointment with a psychologist. THEN you need to print out all of your threads, print out your postings to Katherine McPhee and show them to a professional! Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 I forgot to mention but since her reaction to my apology went well, and she giggled when I told her she seemed like a nice girl, and is pretty, would it be ok to ask her sometime if she wants to go for a drink after a game? I mean thats not asking her out, but just to talk. Would she view that as asking her out? You know, you asked earlier something like "why can't women just be direct?" Interesting question. I don't think you're trying to be creepy, or that you get off on it - I think you believe you are an ordinary guy. But you lack an ability to read social cues and "get" what is realistic and what is going on between you and a woman, and to put a situation in its proper context, which the vast majority of people are able to do. This is why the indirect cues you are missing generally work just fine for most people. But although you seem to know that you need "direct" communication, you still discard it - or forget it, or something - in lieu of the inappropriate and unrealistic thoughts that flood your head. You know - you heard it directly that she was freaked out and didn't want any further advances, yet you are still wondering if it would be OK. So I'm not sure that just "being direct" is enough for you; if order for you to become functional in social interactions with women, you will somehow need to acquire an ability to apply a proper perspective, put interactions into an appropriate context, and not discard the information that you have just because it doesn't fit your "one goal." I'm not sure whether that's something that can be learned or developed, or whether it is just a deficit that you'll have to work around some other way. Nonetheless, we are now giving you what you know you need: direct advice. So hear this: the situation has cooled off, and you are lucky it didn't get any worse. Now leave it alone - leave her alone - everyone here is directly telling you the same thing. Please answer: do you get that we are telling you to leave her alone now? Polite acknowledgement ONLY, and nothing more. It is exactly your tendency to discard objective, direct information from the outside, and your inability to project the consequences of repeating undesired behaviors that has gotten you into trouble, and will continue to do so. If you keep ending up saying "I don't get it - why is this happening?" then you should eventually realize that there is, indeed something you are "not getting." Go get some counseling, and describe your experiences, and maybe they can help you frame reality a little better. Link to post Share on other sites
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