Will she go back to her x-finace?

[nittanylion]

Can someone please help me with my problems?

 

I have been with my gf for 1 year. We have had LDR for about 1 year, and going. So far, we have a great relationship. She told me that she is in love with me and I feel same thing about her. Our plan is to move together the end of this year. She is from Ca, and I am from NJ. We have met twice in person. One time last july, and 2 weeks ago.

 

Here is the problems:

 

She dated him for 4 months and subsequently engaged to him three years ago. She cheated on him, and broken off the engagement 3 years agao. She told me at the time she was not ready for a commitment at the time. She is now ready for a commitment with me. He is trying to contact, and get back to her.

 

She told me on Friday prior to Valentine day, her ex-finace. went to her school and want to take her out to dinner and buy her gifts. She said to him "no, I want to go home to be with my bf(me) " He is still going after her after 3 years, he is not giving up. The advantage is his best friend (guy) has the same class with her, and off course his friend keep him updated about her. She wouldnt graduate till next april 2010.

 

To make matter worse, Her ex-bf lives about 15 mins away from her home, and I live in the east coast. He is rich and I am financially good. She told me she feels sad and sorry for him because she did him wrong. Last summer she still have his engagement ring, and I told to give it back to him, and she did give back to him but he begs, crys and pleases her to come back with him. But she told me she cant go back with him cause the feeling will never be the same.

 

While chatting with her online last night, out of the blue she said if I want to see her x picture and I told her hell no. She also said she wants take a vacation to Korea. I said your ex want to take your on vacation to korea cause he is from korea. she said " she want to go alone". I told her I dont believe it, and she is in denied. Should I believe her?

 

I dont want to sound like a jealous bf but should I be concerned of this development? Four months ago, we have a big fight, and she called him up to talk about our fight. Since she dated me last year, she has cut off all communication with him until last Friday he went to her class to ask her out. She block him from calling and deleted email and YIM.

 

I dont know what to do anymore cause last nite I couldnt sleep. She called me up this morning and told me not to worry about it. Should I be worried that they might get back together again? I am confused now. I think my trust for her is going low now after what she told me last nite. I mean the good thing is that she is honest with me. She could have hide from me and I will never know. Should I overlook this situation? Is this a serious issue? couldnt this become a big problem with me and her down the road? Is she ready to jumpship soon?

 

Please give me your advice about my situation. Thank you in advance. I appreciate it.

[Rollercoasterr]

Okay, when you say school, do you mean high school, or college?

 

Also, if your gut feeling is that something is going on with her and her ex, then it probably is, simply because of the fact that it seems like she's either trying to make you jealous, or she's playing you for a fool. No girl in her right mind would ever ask a current boyfriend if they wanted to see a picture of their ex. I'm sorry, but I wouldn't be trusting a single word this girl says until you get rock solid proof that she's not cheating on you with this guy.

[nittanylion]

Okay, when you say school, do you mean high school, or college?

 

Also, if your gut feeling is that something is going on with her and her ex, then it probably is, simply because of the fact that it seems like she's either trying to make you jealous, or she's playing you for a fool. No girl in her right mind would ever ask a current boyfriend if they wanted to see a picture of their ex. I'm sorry, but I wouldn't be trusting a single word this girl says until you get rock solid proof that she's not cheating on you with this guy.

 

 

She is in photography school. she is in an vocational school. I am 38, and she is 29. she did come home immediately from school on that particular day. I stay with her all nite when she got back from school.

[Rollercoasterr]

Well then this is even worse for her to be acting this way. She's a grown woman, she doesn't need to be playing the jealousy game. That's very, very childish, and it makes me think even more that something is going on there. Maybe not cheating, but she's got some serious issues with this ex and why she keeps bringing him up to you.

[nittanylion]

Well then this is even worse for her to be acting this way. She's a grown woman, she doesn't need to be playing the jealousy game. That's very, very childish, and it makes me think even more that something is going on there. Maybe not cheating, but she's got some serious issues with this ex and why she keeps bringing him up to you.

 

 

You make good points. I wish I have an answer for your question. She does this crap sometimes to get me jealous or get a reaction or to create excitement in the relationship. I dont know. She is a type of person who love action or drama. She told me she want to spend the rest of her life with me, and she said stupid crap, out of the blue, to make me have doubt about her. I am confused about her intention.

[rhoward0006]

When you love someone so much you over look the bad and just look at the good. You are not wrong for feeling the way you feel at all. Just look at the whole situation and realize that she is human and she can hurt you even though she does not mean to hurt you.

[Island Girl]

She called him up out of the blue to talk to him about a fight she got into with you?

 

No way. That wouldn't be a first contact. She has seen him in passing and spoken to him or something.

 

They broke up 3 years ago and now she starts talking to him again? Bad news.

 

She shouldn't be talking to another guy - ANY other guy when it comes too the relationship. That is how EAs start and if he is in closer proximity this could lead to a full blown A or they break up of your relationship.

It just opens the door to all of those things.

 

If she is 29 then she should be aware of this and is acting naive.

 

It is something you should be concerned about.

 

Her ex is obviously on her mind. I don't believe it is just since last Friday when you said he asked her out.

Especially since she called him up to get emotional support 4 months ago.

 

You say she is honest with you and tells you everything. I doubt that. She has been in touch with him before that call 4 months ago and still is.

 

You need to have a serious talk with her about this and put this all on the table. If she defends her relationship with him, or tells you they are just "friends" and you need to accept it, you should be aware that if you stay with her you may end up really hurt by her.

 

The two of you are discussing marriage, right? If so then she should be looking after you in all ways. That means she shouldn't be doing things that would fan the flames of insecurity and taking special consideration of this since you are LD.

That means no contact with exes and not giving the impression to other men that she is open to communication with them - as in phone calls or lunches, etc.

[nittanylion]

She called him up out of the blue to talk to him about a fight she got into with you?

 

No way. That wouldn't be a first contact. She has seen him in passing and spoken to him or something.

 

They broke up 3 years ago and now she starts talking to him again? Bad news.

 

She shouldn't be talking to another guy - ANY other guy when it comes too the relationship. That is how EAs start and if he is in closer proximity this could lead to a full blown A or they break up of your relationship.

It just opens the door to all of those things.

 

If she is 29 then she should be aware of this and is acting naive.

 

It is something you should be concerned about.

 

Her ex is obviously on her mind. I don't believe it is just since last Friday when you said he asked her out.

Especially since she called him up to get emotional support 4 months ago.

 

You say she is honest with you and tells you everything. I doubt that. She has been in touch with him before that call 4 months ago and still is.

 

You need to have a serious talk with her about this and put this all on the table. If she defends her relationship with him, or tells you they are just "friends" and you need to accept it, you should be aware that if you stay with her you may end up really hurt by her.

 

The two of you are discussing marriage, right? If so then she should be looking after you in all ways. That means she shouldn't be doing things that would fan the flames of insecurity and taking special consideration of this since you are LD.

That means no contact with exes and not giving the impression to other men that she is open to communication with them - as in phone calls or lunches, etc.

 

 

I couldnt sleep last nite. She texted me last nite and said "just got to sleep love i will see you tomorrow and dont worry about everything. you are my love for life. nite nite love. i love u and ur everything xoxo. mwahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

 

She told me she blocked him, and ceased contact with him. Its just recently, he came to her class to ask her out because his reason is to take her out on Valentine day. His bestfriend (guy) is in the same class with her so in a way, so he tells her x about everything that is why her ex knew she had class last Friday. Well, she told me she didnt contact him. He had obsessesion to get back with her. I ask her what if he is stalking her and come to her house, and she said she will call the police, and put a restraining order on him.

 

Yes, we do discussed about having family and getting married when we live together the end of this year.

 

I am really have to go by her words. I have no other choices at this point. Yes, I am skeptical about her after she put this crap on me.