Yes my friends, they do come back sometimes...

[hopethisworks]

Yeh, I definately agree with you about letting her take action, and not merely expressing her wants. For me it just happened so quickyly, it was like we went a month of NC, then all of the sudden it just hit her randomly that she really missed me. I could tell she still had strong feelings for me by the way she would look at me at work, but never verbally expressed it until this past weekend. I feel bad for breaking nc, because things ended up turning into more than just talking, which is definately not what I wanted at all. Now I feel like I set myself back to day 1, and have to start nc all over again. I feel like im walking on ice, and im trying my best not to step in the wrong spot.

[CaliGuy]

Yeh, I definately agree with you about letting her take action, and not merely expressing her wants. For me it just happened so quickyly, it was like we went a month of NC, then all of the sudden it just hit her randomly that she really missed me. I could tell she still had strong feelings for me by the way she would look at me at work, but never verbally expressed it until this past weekend. I feel bad for breaking nc, because things ended up turning into more than just talking, which is definately not what I wanted at all. Now I feel like I set myself back to day 1, and have to start nc all over again. I feel like im walking on ice, and im trying my best not to step in the wrong spot.

 

So back off. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY off. Let her stew in her thoughts. You need to go only on what her ACTIONS are.

 

Which to this date are really nothing.

[Surfer Dude]

Hey Cali, any updates? Is she still all words?

 

You mentioned she said that her current bf isn't what she thought he was. Just another proof that she can't be happy and appreciative of what she has. You get these stupid people (women usually, but men as well) who always think the grass is greener on the other side. Then they learn it's the same grass, just different sort

If you take her back, there's no proof she wouldn't do the same thing to you, all over again.

 

They are the problem, they are people who can never appreciate good things in their life and will constantly walk from one relationship to another, chasing the butterflies and high feelings. I say avoid women like that. It's possible to experience fulfilling and long term stable relationships (with no cheating) with only 13% of population. That's 1 in 8 women. Keep that in mind.

[entityzero]

SurferDude is that true? 1 in 8?

As in its pretty much a sure thing that something like that is gonna happen?

Where did you hear that fact?

[Surfer Dude]

SurferDude is that true? 1 in 8?

As in its pretty much a sure thing that something like that is gonna happen?

Where did you hear that fact?

 

Nothing is ever 100% sure. But this is the average number of women with whom you can have a successful marriage, never experience cheating and live happily ever after. I don't have the reference to the study right now, unfortunately.

 

So pick 8 random women of your age range, and the chance is one of them can be your life partner. Like doctor Cox said in Scrubs, 90% of relationships fall apart just because people are incompatible.

[CaliGuy]

Hey Cali, any updates? Is she still all words?

 

You mentioned she said that her current bf isn't what she thought he was. Just another proof that she can't be happy and appreciative of what she has. You get these stupid people (women usually, but men as well) who always think the grass is greener on the other side. Then they learn it's the same grass, just different sort

If you take her back, there's no proof she wouldn't do the same thing to you, all over again.

 

They are the problem, they are people who can never appreciate good things in their life and will constantly walk from one relationship to another, chasing the butterflies and high feelings. I say avoid women like that. It's possible to experience fulfilling and long term stable relationships (with no cheating) with only 13% of population. That's 1 in 8 women. Keep that in mind.

 

Status quo. She's not leaving him but she isn't happy. He lied to her to get her into the relationship (saying he was a Christian when really, he wasn't) and now she's stuck. Now she's in love with a guy who lied about the most important thing in her life. Faith.

 

She used to have pictures of him and her around her desk. Those are gone. She knows what she has to do, and we talked about it, but I don't think she has the confidence to do it.

 

She'll threaten to leave.

He'll go to a few Sunday's at Church.

He'll stop going.

She'll threaten to leave.

He'll go to a few Sunday's at Church.

He'll stop going.

She'll threaten to leave.

 

Notice a pattern her? I KNOW this is going to happen to her because instead of checking out the facts before she started dating this guy, she let him pull the wool over her eyes and play her for a fool. She is naive that way.

 

So the more I learn the more I am apt to believe that staying away is best. She isn't making an effort to leave him so any talk at this point is moot. And I told her as much so she knows.

[hopethisworks]

Yeh, I was definately wondering about your update with this one caliguy. It seems like shes not happy, but is currently content enough to still stick around.

 

Did she cheat on you with this guy, or were you guys over when she got with him?

[hopethisworks]

So, after taking the advice of actions vs words, my ex did the whole beating down the door in my situation. After a failed attempt to reconcile, I went back into nc, and she came back shortly. In my case, she showed up to talk to me after I ignored every other attempt she made. She apologised for everything, and broke things off with her ex, mainly to be with me.

 

A few days later, a dilemna came up where she had made previous plans months in advance to take her ex for a post op he was having. It required her to spend the night.(out of town) I was very compromising over her promise to him, but I became jelous, because I felt there was no need in an overnight stay. She had no contact with me during the time she was there.

 

When she returned she said that I had been acting overly paranoid, and that I did not trust her. She said that for the time being that it was best for her to be single because she did not want to feel untrusted going back into working out our relationship. She also said her feelings have not changed for me and she still meant everything she said. Where now? Should I feel bad for not approving of her actions by staying?

[paperchase]

So, after taking the advice of actions vs words, my ex did the whole beating down the door in my situation. After a failed attempt to reconcile, I went back into nc, and she came back shortly. In my case, she showed up to talk to me after I ignored every other attempt she made. She apologised for everything, and broke things off with her ex, mainly to be with me.

 

A few days later, a dilemna came up where she had made previous plans months in advance to take her ex for a post op he was having. It required her to spend the night.(out of town) I was very compromising over her promise to him, but I became jelous, because I felt there was no need in an overnight stay. She had no contact with me during the time she was there.

 

When she returned she said that I had been acting overly paranoid, and that I did not trust her. She said that for the time being that it was best for her to be single because she did not want to feel untrusted going back into working out our relationship. She also said her feelings have not changed for me and she still meant everything she said. Where now? Should I feel bad for not approving of her actions by staying?

 

No, you'd be a fool to be okay with her spending the night with her ex she dumped you for. That's totally inappropriate. If they are not together, she has no business supporting him emotionally or otherwise. The fact that she broke it off with you AGAIN tell you everything you need to know. She has conflicting feelings and the pressure of a committed relationship with you is too much for her to handle. I've had my conscience get the best of me with a woman who sensed my infidelity and who I loved too much to keep cheating on. I provided her a similar excuse. People who get defensive are often hiding something.

 

I'd walk away but if you don't you definitely need to go NC for longer than you have. If she chooses you it can't be on a whim. Give her some time to think about things...weeks or months should tell you where you really stand. Keep in mind you already got your second chance and it failed. Now your working on a third and the odds get worse each time.

[hopethisworks]

We met up today to talk about everything, and I made it known that my insecurity was not the fact that i thought she would be hooking up with him, especially after going under during his op, but it was an issue of respect on my part. Because she knew it bothered me and she still did it. I sent one text message the whole time asking how things were, and stating that i thought she would have at least texted or called by now. Which apparently made her mad because she felt like I was trying to keep tabs on her.

 

I hate that I broke the whole NC, but she did make an attempt to be back with me by breaking up with him,and confessing her love to me and only me. But, she still decided to go against my wishes by staying. When I went NC last time, she felt like I was doing it to hurt her, but in reality I did it to stop hurting myself.

 

If I go NC now again, will it make me look childish and make things worse? I feel like I am so close to what I wanted all along, but still feel like Im making all the wrong moves in my attempt.

[hopethisworks]

So I made the move of drunkingly telling her that I couldnt talk to her anymore last night. I attempted to explain things soberly to her today, but of course I was ignored. Is there anyway of going about this without coming across as immature? I know I shouldnt have even tried to explain things, but I am a very caring person. I still have very strong feelings, but I'm tired of being walked over.

[paperchase]

So I made the move of drunkingly telling her that I couldnt talk to her anymore last night. I attempted to explain things soberly to her today, but of course I was ignored. Is there anyway of going about this without coming across as immature? I know I shouldnt have even tried to explain things, but I am a very caring person. I still have very strong feelings, but I'm tired of being walked over.

 

Hey man. You hijacked someone else's thread and I liked their thread. It gives good insight into what is required for a legitimate second chance. Maybe you should read it from start to finish. Hopefully it can be picked back up after my response and you will start a thread of your own.

 

In short you broke NC too soon. So what she missed you. She didn't say she wanted you back for good, she didn't beg, she didn't say she was willing to work to oversome what broke you up in the first place. She gave you an olive branch and you snatched it without hesitation. Fool's gold. Now she's pulled back which is to be expected. Now she's mad because you were checking on her? She's got you walking on eggshells. Even if she took you back, your time together would be shortlived. A month tops. I've been there.

 

Now you're back to calling and drunk no less. She knows she's got you and that makes it very easy for her to push you away. Anyway, it's never too late to go NC, but don't expect it to generate the same results each time. The breadcrumbs that took you a month to get may take two months now or may not ever come. You're not gonna like what I'm saying but you better start preparing yourself to move on because when a month of NC only gets you breadcrumbs the prospect of reconcilliation isn't very good.

[hopethisworks]

My intentions were never to "Highjack" this thread. I simply found Caliguys situation very similar, and reached out for guidance and help. Much like you have needed.

It doesnt matter anymore anyway, I unfortunately got the assurance I needed to send me on my way.

[Kic]

Cal, Hope, and whoever else is in this situation:

 

Pretend that your ex is much more crafty and smarter than you are. If an ex truly believes that you are the better choice than the other person she is currently with, then she should do whatever it takes to dump him and get back with you. Paperc's ex realized this and then slept with him, because she knew that's what it would take (and now Paperc's new concern is whether she's a keeper; hint: she isn't).

 

People (men do this too) are smart enough to tell an ex just enough to keep them as an option while they explore other options. It's human nature. Paperc is now doing this to his ex, in a reversal play. But it's just a demonstration of power - an ego trip. The real long-term goal is to find "the one." If you need to build your ego back up to do it, fine, but cut the ex off for Christ's sake when you're done.

 

Cal, do you want to know when your ex will come back, if she ever does? She will come back and say all the things she has to say and commit to change only after her current BF either dumps her or screws up and when you are her best alternative. If/when she does this, she'll still string him along as she is doing with you now, since it's in her best interest to keep as many options available as possible, on the chance that you dump her or screw up.

 

So don't hold your breath or waste time on this girl. If you're indeed dating others, then try harder because you haven't yet found someone that has taken your mind off of this girl.

 

On another topic, I 100% agree on the monkey branch issue. For gorgeous young women, this is a fact of life - they will always have options and don't have to work very hard to maintain a high amount of options because of their beauty. However, a gorgeous young ex that has left you for another man is in a different category.

[CaliGuy]

Cal, Hope, and whoever else is in this situation:

Cal, do you want to know when your ex will come back, if she ever does? She will come back and say all the things she has to say and commit to change only after her current BF either dumps her or screws up and when you are her best alternative. If/when she does this, she'll still string him along as she is doing with you now, since it's in her best interest to keep as many options available as possible, on the chance that you dump her or screw up.

 

Agreed. She isn't going to leave him anytime soon. She thinks that a year isn't very long. She's one of those screwed up individuals that thinks "Oh, he'll change!" (regarding her current b/f) when in fact he will never change. She's too comfortable to leave the relationship even though she isn't completely happy. She knows what the advantage is to dating me but again, because she's already got her heart wrapped around the new guy, I can't see her leaving him or him leaving her (why should he? Free sex, no obligation to her whatsoever!).

 

So don't hold your breath or waste time on this girl. If you're indeed dating others, then try harder because you haven't yet found someone that has taken your mind off of this girl.

 

 

Oh I've been dating a lot and having fun, that isn't the issue. The issue is meeting someone who I connect with on "that" level. So far it hasn't panned out that way but I've hardly given up.

 

Actually most of my focus right now is on buying a house. Relationships, at least for now, are taking a back seat. Exs? They're not even on the map

[Kic]

A damn good time to buy housing right now

[RecordProducer]

CaliGuy, why do you have to play her way: give her another chance or not. In some ways, your losing no matter what you choose. If you simply take her back, you're a schmuk - you let her get away with cheating or whatever she did in the past, you recovered the trust and love at a snap of her fingers. If you don't take her back, then you're losing what you might potentially be getting.

 

Why not play with her now? Tell her you wanted to take things slowly. You want to date other girls as well and have your freedom and if the relationship is great and trust is rebuilt, maybe you'll both consider comitting to each other. This way you'd give her another chance without humiliating yourself, without letting her think that she can do sh*t to you over and over again and you'll always take her back and trust her. She must see that she did damage a lot of your love for her, although it's not beyond repair. You would also send the message that you're not taking her back unconditionally, that she has to deserve your commitment. Finally, you'll show her that you don't care about her that much anymore as to waste an opportunity for a hot, young booty.

 

What do you think?

[CaliGuy]

CaliGuy, why do you have to play her way: give her another chance or not. In some ways, your losing no matter what you choose. If you simply take her back, you're a schmuk - you let her get away with cheating or whatever she did in the past, you recovered the trust and love at a snap of her fingers. If you don't take her back, then you're losing what you might potentially be getting.

 

Why not play with her now? Tell her you wanted to take things slowly. You want to date other girls as well and have your freedom and if the relationship is great and trust is rebuilt, maybe you'll both consider comitting to each other. This way you'd give her another chance without humiliating yourself, without letting her think that she can do sh*t to you over and over again and you'll always take her back and trust her. She must see that she did damage a lot of your love for her, although it's not beyond repair. You would also send the message that you're not taking her back unconditionally, that she has to deserve your commitment. Finally, you'll show her that you don't care about her that much anymore as to waste an opportunity for a hot, young booty.

 

What do you think?

 

I think you're right, but she's dating the other guy right now. Last we talked, which was a couple weeks ago I said "It's been almost a year" and she said "Well that's not very long..." so that tells me that she's willing to stay with this guy in the HOPE that he will change (he won't -- they never do!). So if she is willing to piss away the best years of her life with someone who won't amount to anything for her, so be it.

 

I --on the other hand -- am living life without her and doing fine. In fact, I told her as much last time (haha). I essentially said "I can and will live without you....and I don't need you..." I think that kind of threw her for a loop.

 

Bottom line is it isn't my decision and nothing is in my control. So like I said, I'm living life. I have more important things to do that worry about what she is doing.

[RecordProducer]

I think you're right, but she's dating the other guy right now. Last we talked, which was a couple weeks ago I said "It's been almost a year" and she said "Well that's not very long..." so that tells me that she's willing to stay with this guy in the HOPE that he will change (he won't -- they never do!).

Oh, wow, I think she is trying to use you as a bait. She wants to break up with him, then hook up with a new guy (conveniently, you) to make him jealous. Then, she hopes, he'll want her back, and this is where the ultimatum takes place: either change or I am staying with CaliGuy.

 

This is so transparent. Don't go for it if you have feelings for her. She is waiting for you to say "OK, if you ditch him, I'll be with you." Then she'll ditch him the same day, hook up with you the next day and by the following Friday, she'll be back with him. He won't change, I am sure, but the point is that she doesn't care about you, she cares about him - or at least it sounds like that to me.

 

You might even lead her to answer this question. Tell her that if this is her plan, that it won't work, that there's a better plan. If she shows interest in what the better plan is - then you know it was all about him. If she says she doesn't want him back, then tell her to ditch him and you'll think about it. When/if she ditches him, make sure she is over him before you give her another chance.

 

By the way, the better plan is to show your SO that no matter what, another man or not, you are not taking them back until they change. Men run after their exes when they find new guys, but ultimately it's all about winning the game, beating the opponent, and repossessing their "territory." The only true respect comes when a woman sets boundaries as to what she wants and what she will not put up with, even if she is completely lonely - because she doesn't need just "any" man. And any man that a woman would dump to go back to her "changed" ex is "any" man. A man can only be truly motivated to win his ex back if she says NO to unfulfilled needs, disrespect, neglect, etc. Not if she says YES to the next dude that asked her out on a date.

[D-Lish]

she's willing to stay with this guy in the HOPE that he will change (he won't -- they never do!).

 

Often they don't- and this works for both genders;)

People are habitual by nature... She's proving this just by sniffing around you again when she's with someone else. Doing the same to him that she once did to you.... Pattern.

 

I know exactly what you'd say to anyone else posting the same thing. I also know how hard it is to be objective when your own emotions are involved. It's bloody near impossible!

 

I say you take your vindication from this and continue to go out on dates until someone worthy of your adoration comes along.

[CaliGuy]

Oh, wow, I think she is trying to use you as a bait. She wants to break up with him, then hook up with a new guy (conveniently, you) to make him jealous. Then, she hopes, he'll want her back, and this is where the ultimatum takes place: either change or I am staying with CaliGuy.

 

I agree completely. Not sure about the hookup, I just think she wants to use me as "leverage" to try and get him to change.

 

This is so transparent. Don't go for it if you have feelings for her. She is waiting for you to say "OK, if you ditch him, I'll be with you." Then she'll ditch him the same day, hook up with you the next day and by the following Friday, she'll be back with him. He won't change, I am sure, but the point is that she doesn't care about you, she cares about him - or at least it sounds like that to me.

 

You are correct. She doesn't care about me. She wants to know that I am an option to her should he fail. She is deathly afraid of being alone and likes, much like most people do, to have options. If she really wanted to be with me, she'd be with me and not him.

 

That's the way I see it at least. She's far too emotionally involved in this guy.

 

You might even lead her to answer this question. Tell her that if this is her plan, that it won't work, that there's a better plan. If she shows interest in what the better plan is - then you know it was all about him. If she says she doesn't want him back, then tell her to ditch him and you'll think about it. When/if she ditches him, make sure she is over him before you give her another chance.

 

That's just it. I don't think there is going to be another chance. As I said, she is heavily invested in him emtionally. If she were not, she would have left him by now. She would not have made the statement that "A year isn't that long...". That simply tells me that she is willing to stick it out for many years to see if he will change. He won't, but she'll be dumb enough to believe he will.

 

And she will waste many years of her life...the best years of her life...wasted.

 

By the way, the better plan is to show your SO that no matter what, another man or not, you are not taking them back until they change. Men run after their exes when they find new guys, but ultimately it's all about winning the game, beating the opponent, and repossessing their "territory." The only true respect comes when a woman sets boundaries as to what she wants and what she will not put up with, even if she is completely lonely - because she doesn't need just "any" man. And any man that a woman would dump to go back to her "changed" ex is "any" man. A man can only be truly motivated to win his ex back if she says NO to unfulfilled needs, disrespect, neglect, etc. Not if she says YES to the next dude that asked her out on a date.

 

I've already told her this. I told her "I can live without you..." making it clear that I wasn't sticking around to wait for her. She knows this well and it doesn't seem to bother her. That is another reason why I think she's just so heavily invested in this guy that me she sees me as a DISTANT option. Not even on her radar.

 

And I'll be damned if I will put up with that crap. There's too many women out there interested in me to bank everything on one very flaky and confused girl.

 

Often they don't- and this works for both genders;)

People are habitual by nature... She's proving this just by sniffing around you again when she's with someone else. Doing the same to him that she once did to you.... Pattern.

 

I know exactly what you'd say to anyone else posting the same thing. I also know how hard it is to be objective when your own emotions are involved. It's bloody near impossible!

 

I say you take your vindication from this and continue to go out on dates until someone worthy of your adoration comes along.

 

That's exactly what I am doing D. Trust me. I've been dating a lot and having fun. When someone sparks my attention enough to date I'll let ya know

[BCCA]

CaliGuy, just be glad you're smart enough to see things for what they are. If you didnt know any better, who knows how much mud you could've been dragged through.

 

I agree with your assesments 100%.

[CaliGuy]

CaliGuy, just be glad you're smart enough to see things for what they are. If you didnt know any better, who knows how much mud you could've been dragged through.

 

I agree with your assesments 100%.

 

Thanks.

 

Rest assured that these are tough decisions for me to make. As I said in Paperchase's thread "It's easy to give advice, but tough to take when your heart is screwing with your cognitive abilities...". I'm very good at dishing out advice that my heart has no vested interest in.

 

When my heart weighs heavy then it tends to make the irrational decisions that blow my relationships up. I can't help who I love/want in my life. I can, however, discipline myself to not let the people control my life.

 

And in the end, that's really the best we can do. That's all Paperchase can do with his ex. In my case, the control is out of my hands and has been for a long time. Other than a few pieces of breadcrumbs here and there, she's done nothing.

 

As I have stated many times, it is her ACTIONS now that I am following, not her words. And her actions say "I love the guy I am with and I am willing to wait forever for him to change..."

 

They certainly do not say "I want you, CG...." and that's all I have to go on.

[RecordProducer]

Yes my friends, they do come back sometimes...

This is the action perceived by your ear.

 

Talk me out of listening to her.

This is the action perceived by your intuition.

 

She doesn't care about me. She wants to know that I am an option to her should he fail. [.quote] You either love someone or you don't. An option is when you've gone on one date and found a person cute and nice, but you know nothing about them.

 

If she really wanted to be with me, she'd be with me and not him.

 

That's the way I see it at least. She's far too emotionally involved in this guy.

Right-o. If she is emotionally involved with him after a year of his crap, it means she is in love with him. If you don't love someone, you don't wait for them to change and be good to you - you dump them. Relationships bring too much pain as is; you don't need a woman who loves someone else, to start with.

 

she would have left him by now. She would not have made the statement that "A year isn't that long...".

Yes, that simply means it's not over. So you would enter the picture while it's still not over. I've actually done that, what she is trying to do. I am not proud of it and I can't claim for sure that this is what she is doing, but I can tell you I didn't have any feelings whatsoever for the guys who played the baits. It's a dirty, but good way to make your partner realize that they love you and want you (if they do!), but it doesn't induce any changes in character or behavior.

 

And she will waste many years of her life...the best years of her life...wasted.

And that's not your problem. Maybe she will, maybe she won't.

I've already told her this. I told her "I can live without you..." making it clear that I wasn't sticking around to wait for her. She knows this well and it doesn't seem to bother her.

You did a wise thing. If it doesn't bother her, she wasn't in love with you - which, I believe, you already know.

 

And I'll be damned if I will put up with that crap. There's too many women out there interested in me to bank everything on one very flaky and confused girl.

Love shouldn't hurt and make you feel humiliated. Lovers can fight about different views, habits or character flaws, but you should always know that you're 100% loved and that there's no one else in the emotional picture. If these two things are not met, there's no relationship, there's no love. There's only constant suffering. People often settle for less, cherish hopes that things would change with time, or try their best to improve themselves; this hard work makes them feel like the relaitonship is alive and flowing. But, in reality, if you give up at some point, you can see exactly what's going on. Dr. Chopra says "When you want something too much, let it go."

[CaliGuy]

This is the action perceived by your ear.

 

Agreed.

 

This is the action perceived by your intuition.

 

Well I'm not dumb

 

Right-o. If she is emotionally involved with him after a year of his crap, it means she is in love with him. If you don't love someone, you don't wait for them to change and be good to you - you dump them. Relationships bring too much pain as is; you don't need a woman who loves someone else, to start with.

 

Oh I believe she's in love with him. If she wasn't, she'd have left by now. She wants something I offer her but it's not enough to leave him. Like I said, she is emotionally attached to him at the hip. Nothing I do or say will change that.

 

Yes, that simply means it's not over. So you would enter the picture while it's still not over. I've actually done that, what she is trying to do. I am not proud of it and I can't claim for sure that this is what she is doing, but I can tell you I didn't have any feelings whatsoever for the guys who played the baits. It's a dirty, but good way to make your partner realize that they love you and want you (if they do!), but it doesn't induce any changes in character or behavior.

 

I won't enter the picture at all. I've already told her actions speak louder than words. She's taken no action so that tells me how she really feels. She isn't going to try and manipulate him though. If she ever does decide to leave him it won't be because she is ambivalent to me. It will be because she's tired of trying to change him. I'll be long gone when that happens

 

And that's not your problem. Maybe she will, maybe she won't.

You did a wise thing. If it doesn't bother her, she wasn't in love with you - which, I believe, you already know.

 

I think she was infatuated with me. But that went away when she found someone else she became infatuated with.

 

Love shouldn't hurt and make you feel humiliated. Lovers can fight about different views, habits or character flaws, but you should always know that you're 100% loved and that there's no one else in the emotional picture. If these two things are not met, there's no relationship, there's no love. There's only constant suffering. People often settle for less, cherish hopes that things would change with time, or try their best to improve themselves; this hard work makes them feel like the relaitonship is alive and flowing. But, in reality, if you give up at some point, you can see exactly what's going on. Dr. Chopra says "When you want something too much, let it go."

 

And I agree with Dr. Chopra a lot. It becomes a vice in your life. Like I said, I can live without her. I still love her as a person but the longer she's been away the more the feelings are dissipating. Eventually when I meet someone that knocks my socks off, I will hardly (if ever) think of this ex or any others. Well, I don't think of any other exs and the main reason I think of her is because we work together and I see her every day.

 

And now, unfortunately, she has joined my gym so I see her there occasionally as well. But, I keep to myself, do my workouts and don't talk to her. I don't approach her at work to start a conversation. We make eye contact occasionally and I just smile and keep walking. She still makes "drive bys" by my desk. Yesterday she made it a point to stop in front of me while I was on a conference call and speak loudly. I said nothing

 

I know what you're saying and it's not like I am sitting around waiting for her. I have too many positive things going on in my life to worry about the negatives.

 

And like I said, if she really wanted to be with me, she'd be with me and not him. She'd be beating down my door. She'd be much more than talk. And to me, talk is absolutely cheap. (And she knows I feel this way).

 

Thanks for the pep talk