Chrome Barracuda Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I was planning to marry her the summer after we had our baby and move in with me. Then we had set if up for Dec of this year. Yes I do unferstand. I guess it was easy to get with her, being that we were co-workers. I wasn't an out going guy and I don't think any of that has changed. IN the end I wish sometimes that either she went with the other guy or that she just didn't want to come back... I think that would have been easier to deal with and having to be the one to do it. I dont think anything else matters anymore. Think about it. she engages in disturbing behavior and has a child while she's engaged to you. and then acts like nothings wrong? What kind of woman is she? Look dude you know what needs to be done. You said in the begining you arent the first she's been with dont you see a pattern with this woman? If you dont get away from this toxic woman she WILL hurt you again!!! And make no mistake you need to stand up, grab your cohones' and march out the door, matter of fact introduce her to the curb, get a lawyer and go for full custody with her paying child support. I bet she will wake up then. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ducknrun Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 And make no mistake you need to stand up, grab your cohones' and march out the door, matter of fact introduce her to the curb, get a lawyer and go for full custody with her paying child support. I bet she will wake up then. I almost came close tonight. I pushed hard to get answers and we fought about our feeling and emotions, but I realize I don’t know how to say goodbye. She’s still planning on leaving this weekend and this might be an opportunity for me to turn off my phone and see what out there. M parents already have a lawyer ready to go, but I don’t think a court would ever allow a father full custody over a mother at this young of age unless she was unstable. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 I almost came close tonight. I pushed hard to get answers and we fought about our feeling and emotions, but I realize I don’t know how to say goodbye. She’s still planning on leaving this weekend and this might be an opportunity for me to turn off my phone and see what out there. M parents already have a lawyer ready to go, but I don’t think a court would ever allow a father full custody over a mother at this young of age unless she was unstable. That's good the more you stand up for yourself, assertive and strong. The more you feel better about yourself! And dont believe the hype even if you dont get full custody go in there going for full and at least walk out with half joint/ half physical. Dont believe the hype. It's awesome that your parents are getting you a lawyer because they are very expensive. Link to post Share on other sites
chrislovestosurf Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Im sorry this happened to you but you should not have forgiven her given the circumstances you explained. Shame on YOU for that. Sorry to sound harsh but you are being horrible to yourself for keeping someone like that in your life. you are doing a terrible injustice to yourself and you need to swallow the hurt and get rid of that woman. Do yourself a favor and find a cute chicky who wont cheat on you. I know its easier said than done and it may take years but you'll feel good about it someday. For real man, youre being a pussy. Man up and tell her to F^ck off. Link to post Share on other sites
lostsunsets Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 If she is leaving with your relationship being as it is, she is showing that she really doesn't respect or value your love. My advice would be to pack and leave with the baby. Go back to your parents. Let the courts figure it out. Your baby will be fine. And you will at least get equal custody. She is pretty much a tramp now anyways. She cheats on you, then wants to go on a road trip. If I may make a suggestion. You need to get a semen test kit if you stay. She won't wash her clothes while shes gone and then you will know. Just grab her panties when she comes back without her knowing and have them tested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ducknrun Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 If she is leaving with your relationship being as it is, she is showing that she really doesn't respect or value your love. My advice would be to pack and leave with the baby. Go back to your parents. Let the courts figure it out. Your baby will be fine. And you will at least get equal custody. She is pretty much a tramp now anyways. She cheats on you, then wants to go on a road trip. If I may make a suggestion. You need to get a semen test kit if you stay. She won't wash her clothes while shes gone and then you will know. Just grab her panties when she comes back without her knowing and have them tested. I knew she wanted to do this when I first met her. It is just bad timing on her part. I wish she would have stayed but it might be better for both of us to get some alone time. Unfortunately when I found out the she cheated me I notified the daycare to call me if any strange behaviors they see. Surly enough the called to say that he through a fit and they couldn't calm him down, which wasn't normal for him. More things have happened since then. The semen test kit sounds like an idea but going behind her back like that wouldn't give me satisfaction either way. If she did do something it just saves me the time and ill try and end it, but if I’m wrong I'll feel guilty for having to check. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ducknrun Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 That's good the more you stand up for yourself, assertive and strong. The more you feel better about yourself! And dont believe the hype even if you dont get full custody go in there going for full and at least walk out with half joint/ half physical. Dont believe the hype. It's awesome that your parents are getting you a lawyer because they are very expensive. It's not that we need lawyers, were perfectly able to reasonable work something out. If we can't then I think we need to go to the courts. Every time I put pressure on her about our relationship we both end up getting wound up and hurt, but we finally get to the root of our problems and I really don't feel good at the end of all that. I feel as if we had maybe some counciling it could work. I guess i'm also trying harder to work this out because I have a friend that was able to do it but their situation was a little different Link to post Share on other sites
Author ducknrun Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 Do yourself a favor and find a cute chicky who wont cheat on you. I know its easier said than done and it may take years but you'll feel good about it someday. For real man, youre being a pussy. Man up and tell her to F^ck off. Time, I think is the problem. I'm young but i'm ready to settle down with one person and that happened to be who I am with now. I never thought she was able to do that and i'm sure if I meet someone else I would think the same, but anything is possible. I dont think I treated her poorly and I dont think I am a horrible guy, so what else am I doing wrong. Its probably something I should figure out before I try another realtionship. Link to post Share on other sites
lostsunsets Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Ok, so help me understand this. She screws some other guy and then lies about it. So you don't want to semen test her panties on the chance she might not cheat. But the only way to find out if she cheats is to test them. So if you don't test them and she has cheated, you are OK with not knowing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ducknrun Posted February 21, 2009 Author Share Posted February 21, 2009 Ok, so help me understand this. She screws some other guy and then lies about it. So you don't want to semen test her panties on the chance she might not cheat. But the only way to find out if she cheats is to test them. So if you don't test them and she has cheated, you are OK with not knowing. That would imply she has lied to me again and that I can't trust her. I don't know anything about the accuracy of the semen test. How can I tell it wasn't mine? I wouldn't want to jump the gun since before she left we had finally reached the root of our problems. Link to post Share on other sites
lostsunsets Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 That would imply she has lied to me again and that I can't trust her. YOU caught HER a month ago. She did not confess. and no, you can't trust her. I don't know anything about the accuracy of the semen test. How can I tell it wasn't mine? You can tell by not having sex with her before she has a night out planned. If it tuesday and she wants to go out friday, don't have sex with her before. Then you test her panties from thursday and insure that there is no semen then. You have to plan this for when you think that she might have the opportunity to cheat. I wouldn't want to jump the gun since before she left we had finally reached the root of our problems. You may very well have reached the root of your problems with her. But that doesn't mean she isn't still cheating. Hey its your relationship. If I were you I would want to remove any doubt, because I think that, is much more dangerous then finding out the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ducknrun Posted February 21, 2009 Author Share Posted February 21, 2009 YOU caught HER a month ago. She did not confess. and no, you can't trust her.. How many people actually confess vs. getting caught? You can tell by not having sex with her before she has a night out planned. If it tuesday and she wants to go out friday, don't have sex with her before. Then you test her panties from thursday and insure that there is no semen then. You have to plan this for when you think that she might have the opportunity to cheat.. According to the sites that you order evidence can remain for up to 2 years. I haven't done anything since probably 2 months because, that would have just made things more complicated. I'll always have a chance to do that later down the road. Regardless of how insecure I feel I need to trust her and try to move past this. I was able to tell when she cheated I will be able to do it again. (hoping not too) Link to post Share on other sites
In Like Flynn Posted February 22, 2009 Share Posted February 22, 2009 I'm young but i'm ready to settle down with one personn It seems the problem is that she does not want to seetle down with one person right now. She just happened to get pregnant. Right now all you are is a roommate and a babysitter. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ducknrun Posted February 22, 2009 Author Share Posted February 22, 2009 I'm young but i'm ready to settle down with one personn It seems the problem is that she does not want to seetle down with one person right now. She just happened to get pregnant. Right now all you are is a roommate and a babysitter. We could have always ended the pregnancy. That is how I feel but I think if she willing to try now, it is the time for change and to see if we are salvagable. Link to post Share on other sites
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