lostinafairytale Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Hi I am 30 years old and have been with my "husband" since I was 18. The things is he is not really my husband, we just live together, have bills together, and 2 kids together. He says I am not meek enough for him. I run a great clean home. His every need is taken care of we both work but because I have my own opinions I am not meek. I really am ready to get married now because living together 11 of our 12 years means I should be more than his "baby momma",Explaining who I am at our kids school because my last name is different is never how I saw my life. My dad was recently diagnosed with cancer and we always had the dream of him walking me down the aisle, but he says he wont marry me until I am meek enough. Hes been saying this since I was 18.
sb129 Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 What does he mean by "meek"? That he wants you to be subserviant? 12 years and he still wants you to change? Why should YOU have to change? Its HIS attitude that needs to change. If anyone said "I won't marry you until you are meek enough" to me, I would say "see you when hell freezes over then" and hightail it. Either he loves you for who you are or he doesn't. He sounds like an azz, and you shouldn't put up with that kind of BS. Who cares about marriage? Isn't being with someone who loves you for who you are a good starting point?
lovestruck818 Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 Hi I am 30 years old and have been with my "husband" since I was 18. The things is he is not really my husband, we just live together, have bills together, and 2 kids together. He says I am not meek enough for him. I run a great clean home. His every need is taken care of we both work but because I have my own opinions I am not meek. I really am ready to get married now because living together 11 of our 12 years means I should be more than his "baby momma",Explaining who I am at our kids school because my last name is different is never how I saw my life. My dad was recently diagnosed with cancer and we always had the dream of him walking me down the aisle, but he says he wont marry me until I am meek enough. Hes been saying this since I was 18. You live together, that's why you're not married. If a guy lives with his girlfriend prior to engagement, most likwely he wont propose to her b/c there is no incentive- it's like you're already married anyway.
Geishawhelk Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 12 years is nothing. Try shifting a lost cause after 22. Hightail it out of there. He has no respect for you, and I think his attitude stinks. I could see it better if he were to say "Darling, we've been together a long time, I am totally devoted to you, I don't feel we need a bit of paper...." That would be one thing. But - "You're not meek enough"....? Get the fackoutta here!! Tell him that he's not man enough to be with you any more. You don't respect him enough, and he deserves to go out and find a little meek soul to give him everything his little mean heart desires.
Enema Posted February 19, 2009 Posted February 19, 2009 While I generally don't think marriage is a good idea, it's probably a good idea if you have kids. That said, I agree with geisha, his attitude stinks. I would be offended that he's trying to obviously establish himself as dominant in the relationship, your boss, your king, your master. Show him how meek you are and file for child support.
jadelil25 Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 You need to sit down and have a serious talk with him. Let him know how you feel and ask how he feels aswell. He should not be asking you to change. He should love you for who you are. You can not change a person and if you are not happy with them and what they do then you should not be with them. Some people are scared of marriage too, this could be his reason why. I know it may sound stupid but marriage can change things. Its wierd how it works, people are fine, get a long well etc before they are married but as soon as they get married it seems to all fall apart. Communication is key and I would try to sort out the situation as you have children to consider as well.
sb129 Posted February 20, 2009 Posted February 20, 2009 You live together, that's why you're not married. If a guy lives with his girlfriend prior to engagement, most likwely he wont propose to her b/c there is no incentive- it's like you're already married anyway. Oh really? I lived with my H before he proposed.....
iceis44 Posted February 21, 2009 Posted February 21, 2009 Meek omfriggengawd, he doesnt want meek, he wants full control red flag red flag bail bail jump head for shore the ship is sinking
Recommended Posts