I cheated and that's not the kind of guy I am, then my life just falls all downhill.

[meekbot]

Okay so I've been with this amazing girl that I waited for so long for. Each day was amazing, and we ended up falling in love after the first week. The year was great. I spent every night on the phone with her and end up falling asleep with her. She sacrificed a lot for me, and gave up a lot. Even though I gave her crap and was jealous, she dealt with it because she said she loved me. I loved her so much, and wanted to marry her someday. I acted so sensitive from time to time, because she revealed things from her past that I wouldn't have expected. I was shocked, of course, but I end up accepting it. I worry about it so much at first that it ends up hurting her, but I end up getting over it. We end up fighting after a year and I kept bringing out my sensitive BS feelings. She finally says that we need to take a break. As I hang on without her, I end up talking to her best friend, and she starts comforting me then we end up confessing that we liked each other. (A stupid mistake I made) My girlfriend begs for me to come back, not literally, but she shows it. I told her that I liked her friend and she ends up pouring out to me. I ignored everything she told me...and her best friend kept getting through my head saying, "it would be a shame if you get back with her," because she wanted to have sex with me. (Stupid of me to follow along) We get that time...and it happens..I felt bad doing it..and got back with my girl friend..but then I still had feelings for her best friend, which was sick, and I didn't know that all I had was lust. After a few days, I figure it out and realized I'm not that type of guy who cheats. Her best friend kept telling me that it wasn't cheating, but I felt like it was. After a week, I find out that I can't go on with her best friend, because it was just plain wrong and half of me was manipulated.

 

After months and months, I still couldn't get over her. So my ex and my best friend start getting close for some reason. My best friend convinced me to move on to my ex's best friend, which made me wonder, did he do it just so he can get close to her, because I always go jealous when they hung together. Ever since, I've been so uncomfortable with the three of us. I just told my best friend to leave because I couldn't concentrate being myself. So he left upset, and it got my ex wondering, then she starts hating me more...

 

I know how selfish I am, but I don't know how to deal with these situations, because I never cheated and it's screwed up my mind for almost five months now...my ex tells me, "deal with it and get over it..it's common sense come on, deal with it!" What do I do...(give whatever opinion you got...)

[cresentcrow44]

On the one hand I can see how you may have been manipulated, on the other hand you made the choice to have sex with the EX's best friend. Frankly it sounds as though you let others tell you what to think or do to easily.

If you find yourself confused I believe the best thing to do is remove yourself from all relationships, until you do know your own mind and your own heart. If you want to get back together with the EX, and your sure that you do, you need to have a conversation with her. Be honest and truthful. She will either be open to it or wont. There will be no way you can control the out come of that. You can only control yourself, thinking you can control a situation where other people are involved is an illusion.

You said you aren't that guy. The one that did cheat, at least from your point of view. The soul searching has already began, dont stop there, really get to know yourself. A man or a woman that know who they are and what want, well, it's a very attractive trait.

Good luck.

[Mr. Lucky]

As I hang on without her, I end up talking to her best friend, and she starts comforting me then we end up confessing that we liked each other. (A stupid mistake I made) My girlfriend begs for me to come back, not literally, but she shows it. I told her that I liked her friend and she ends up pouring out to me. I ignored everything she told me...and her best friend kept getting through my head saying, "it would be a shame if you get back with her," because she wanted to have sex with me. (Stupid of me to follow along) We get that time...and it happens..I felt bad doing it..and got back with my girl friend..but then I still had feelings for her best friend, which was sick, and I didn't know that all I had was lust. After a few days, I figure it out and realized I'm not that type of guy who cheats. Her best friend kept telling me that it wasn't cheating, but I felt like it was. After a week, I find out that I can't go on with her best friend, because it was just plain wrong and half of me was manipulated.

That is one big pile of self-serving excuses. And now your concern seems to be based on the fact that your ex is friendly with your best friend. If there is any true remorse on your part, I don't get a sense of it from your post...

 

Mr. Lucky