fuzzysweater Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Bottom Line: I have a crush on my 50 year old Peruvian professor. I'm 22 years old, have a boyfriend of 5 years, and obviously wouldn't take such a ridiculous feeling seriously anyhow but basically I can't stop thinking about him. The strange thing is that I've only actually seen him five or so times and for very limited periods (we generally have guest lecturers for every seminar). Unfortunately this has been enough to get my extremely creepy thoughts in gear. I have never spoke to him, gone to his office, or even uttered a single word in his presence. Even further contact is avoided since a teaching assistant is the one who grades our papers and he primarily speaks Spanish from what I've seen (whereas I don't know a single word of it). Honestly, I don't wholeheartedly intend to ever speak to him but within the past week I have gotten myself together enough to wear a nice outfit for the class (that starts at 9am -early for me!) and started researching other classes he teaches for next semester. This behavior alone is freaking me out a bit (not to mention a slight bit of research I've done on Peru). So I guess I've been thinking about it more than I'm ready to admit. Not that this matters whatsoever but I don't think he's married (judging from his ring finger at least) so hopefully I'm not lusting after someone's husband but certainly minus that fact it's still horribly strange. Unlike so many other people I see, this person has it together. He has an incredibly sophisticated and (I know this is insane!) sensual aura about him that I can't get over. RARELY do I notice that in anyone. I know this is magnified by the fact that his intelligence is on display every week in class and the accent.. that's surprisingly appealing. It also has to be pointed out that this is an amazingly ambitious, intelligent, published author with a list of accomplishments a mile long. There is no way on earth that this type of person would even be amused with the idea of an affair with a naive student. In no way is he swarmy or inappropriate. This is just another reason he is so unbelievably attractive. So since there's no chance I could ask for seduction advice in good conscious, I merely ask for advice on how to stop thinking about this! I have a feeling no comments will change my mind much but I'm hoping. Thank you for reading. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 "There is no way on earth that this type of person would even be amused with the idea of an affair with a naive student. In no way is he swarmy or inappropriate." How do you know this? You don't know this man at ALL. I bet 99.999% of men with an IQ over 37 are amused with the idea of an affair with a stupid woman. PS. What is "swarmy"? Link to post Share on other sites
MN randomguy Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Nobody is really this much of a stereotype. So, basically you're a groupie for some professor that sounds like he doesn't teach anyone anything, not even speaking the same language. The next installment you'll actually get with him and then turn around and try to get him fired. You read too many romance novels. Link to post Share on other sites
voldigicam Posted February 21, 2009 Share Posted February 21, 2009 Having been a star-struck student and a professor being stalked I can understand this weirdness. Might get a "buddy" to confide in and keep you from doing weird. If you're trying to avoid that. If you're not trying to avoid that, subtle flirting and eye batting generally caught my attention better than drooling and following around. A little apparently adult interaction is quite pleasant. A bit of being a glazed over weirdos prey will drive most away quickly. I don't know that permanent things are likely, but they occur. From the professorial viewpoint there's a certain excitement in having "relations" with a nice young lady. I always preferred nicely shaped and comfy nerd types who leave their glasses on during sex. Lots of this goes on. But it's got to be done very carefully. And certainly, a decision on go or no go needs to happen. For the no go, a helper really is good. Don't have to tell them who is the victim, but talking the stuff out with someone really helps. I did this at work a couple of times when in office world. And now there was one sales rep who would visit - I'd specifically ask my SO to be there, and the rep looked relieved too. The glasses nerd type - I could barely see straight with her around, and she would constantly break away from gazing liquidly at me. Never spoke about it, but it was clearly LUST at first site. I just couldn't be trusted, I could tell. So if you need a helper, find one. And certainly don't sign up for more classes unless you're really going for it! Going for it - I suggest subtle things. If that doesn't work - back off. Anyone sensitive will notice the subtle things. Subtle = eye contact lingering too long, smiles, questions that really seem like small talk. Wait for a response. Unsubtle = miniskirt and bending over with dayglow orange thong. Sitting in front row without undies on. I've actually seen that - entertaining, but hard to keep on track with the lecture! Link to post Share on other sites
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