How to find teammates in school.

[Lights]

I've been out of school a long time, but I may be going back this or next year.

 

I've recently been thinking about how I would run my life when I go back, and I'm trying to learn how to do right what previously went wrong the last time around.

 

One issue I've had problems with all these years is learning how to identify desirable teammates and choose and recruit to them effectively in such situations (whether formally designated in class, or informal study partners or the like). However, absolutely all the "common-sense" stuff regarding the matter had completely failed me over the years, so now I'm stuck not even knowing what to do in the future. (Yes, the damage is that total. If I walked right now into a classroom where the class being taught was likely to involve group-heavy assignments, I would no longer have any idea how to behave or who to talk to or anything.)

 

Does anyone here know where I can learn how it is done?

[jerbear]

I've done this more than once and even got a few friends out of this.

 

Depending on the school, I would vet classmates who are staff members and kids of management (look at their last names) more. Reasons are that some of them have a sense of entitlement and can be "lazy"

 

Now for longer term stuff, exchange business cards and work on smaller projects together.

[Lights]

I've done this more than once and even got a few friends out of this.

 

Depending on the school, I would vet classmates who are staff members and kids of management (look at their last names) more. Reasons are that some of them have a sense of entitlement and can be "lazy"

 

Now for longer term stuff, exchange business cards and work on smaller projects together.

 

Thanks for the tips, Jerbear.

 

What would I do to learn more effective plans of interacting for making the teams in question? Basically I've had to throw away everything I've ever done and known on even the most fundamental aspects of forming a team. (For one example, one thing a former classmate of mine did was explicitly state his ambitions in the course and mention that he was looking for teammates. The tactic worked for him, but when I tried something of the same nature, the plan failed entirely with no responses at all. Other people teamed up with existing acquaintances or friends; works for the lucky ones, but dangerous for the unlucky ones.)

[jerbear]

This sounds vaguely familiar to a business plan class.

 

Well sometimes, you might have to go alone but before you do that, maybe there is someone else in the class that is a loner also?

 

I hate to say this but sometimes look at how the person presents themselves and vet them that way. Sometimes you'll have to make a decision to join or avoid in 5 minutes.

 

Unfortunately sometimes even the best laid plans fail.

[Lights]

This sounds vaguely familiar to a business plan class.

Well, I meant in most kinds of group-based or group-involving classes. But yes, the example of a tactic I had used was from something I did in a business class.

 

Well sometimes, you might have to go alone but before you do that, maybe there is someone else in the class that is a loner also?

 

I hate to say this but sometimes look at how the person presents themselves and vet them that way. Sometimes you'll have to make a decision to join or avoid in 5 minutes.

 

Unfortunately sometimes even the best laid plans fail.

 

I suppose. Failed plans of that nature pretty much have been my experiences in such situations (whether in school or in training seminars at the job I had).

[You'reasian]

Find people who round out your abilities or your groups abilities and team up with them. Also team up with those whom are like yourself.

[Green]

Maybe try to stand up at the begining of class before the clock starts and give a short 1 minute straight to the point speech about how you're a hard worker and would be so greatful if some one approached you about teaming up

[Lights]

It does not seem to end. I've recently been taking classes and yep, the same thing happened all over again when dealing with the group assignments. I ended up effectively selecting randomly for lack of effectively being able to obtain any information at all.

 

Damn it all...

[amerikajin]

Note: My apologies in advance if this is in violation of the LS guidelines. Please feel free to remove this link if it is, and please note that I am not necessarily promoting this particular organization's services.

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Lights,

 

I've followed your posts for a while. I am sympathetic to your situation. One thing I think you might want to consider is face-to-face social skills training. I say this with the utmost sincerity and sensitivity. The fact is that some people might have the same problem solving people that other people have solving math problems. You strike me as extremely intellectual, but perhaps you didn't quite get the social modeling or guidance that is necessary to develop effective bonding with people. The good news is, I think this can be dealt with professionally.

 

http://www.socialskillstrainingproject.com/

 

The reason I recommend considering a face-to-face trainer is that the type of situation you're in cannot be effectively resolved by reading posts on the internet. You're researching for answers, which is commendable and it's what you probably should be doing. But doing it by reading on the internet might not work because you're using your IQ to process information about psychosocial matters, which requires more observation and intuition about human behavior. I think the only way you're going to get help is to find a coach who is willing to sit down with you, and show you in person how to socialize with other people. That's something you can't read about. You have to watch, listen, observe, notice, and then put it all into practice with other people. I think a trained and licensed social coach is the way to go here. If you're feeling insulted or embarrassed, don't be. There are successful people who go through this and overcome it. I knew a guy who was a stutterer, and was terrified to open his mouth because of the ridicule. He overcame his stuttering and eventually found himself unable to shut up in front of audiences, the bigger the better. You can do it. Just have the willingness to change.

 

Good luck.