Still trying hard! I want to be that guy

[Pacman]

Hey guys,

 

Basically i need some help. I'm trying so hard to BE COMFORTABLE with myself but i can't seem to get the formula right. Here are the things ive decided to do get be that guy.

 

1) Started doing Mixed Martial Arts

2) Started lifting weights

3) eating healthier

4) tried talking to people i don't know at parties

5) started tryin to think more positive

 

It's still not working and i've been at it for a while. I often tell my friends not to give a hoot about what other people think of you but in reality i sometimes care too much what people think of me. I want to change, i want to be so darn comfortable with myself that when people give me weird looks or laugh when they are around i won't think twice about thinking if they were looking weird at me or they are laughing at me.

 

Here are the things that i think are holding me back:

1) My insecurities. (How do you get rid of these)

2) My 5'6 height with small frame. (135lbs)

3) lack of self-confidence

4) lack of self-esteem

5) TERRIFIED of rejection

6) lack of self-respect.

 

Im trying to be a better person and love myself, but i cant seem to get the formula right and i would like your opinion or things that might help me achieve this goal of mine. I often observe guys in my classes who can just turn around from their seats and just say "What did the professor say?" or "WOW! this class is putting me to sleep *smile*". I want to be able to do that but everytime i think about crazy thoughts start happening in my head. For example i start thinking omg this girl probably thinks i like her and im trying to hit on her, so to avoid it i just won't ask.

 

At parties, i can't help but just hang with my group of friends. I can't just approach people i don't know and strike a conversation. I think to myself man, why would they want to talk to me. OR heh this girl does not look friendly at all. I want to be able to just go up to a person and say hey cool party huh without ANYTHING holding me back. I think that me not being comfortable with myself is EVERYTHING thats holding me back from achieving this one and only goal (New years resolution)

 

So please, i would really love some advice, tips , hints or anything that will help me achieve these goals . Trust me i've been at it for a while and i know its going to take ages for me to accomplish this goal. But thats what baby steps are for

[inPrismacolor]

I'm shorter than you and delt with the same struggle of making this huge internal change like that.

 

Trust me no advice is going to make a difference. You're already doing all you can.. which is wanting to change. So only advice I can say is don't give up. Cause I guarantee you one day something will happen and you're going to say screw this.. why even try.

 

Only bit of advice is.. that's cool u started MMA. But get it to a point where you didn't just "start" it, but you "do" it. Make that be your thing. If it's not that make it something else.. maybe you find music or art more your style, but whatever it is, get past the "starting" point so it becomes something you actually do, where if someone asks you "what do you do?" you'll have a million things to say about it, but you won't.. because you'll only let it out in small amounts, leave the rest up to their imagination, but later on you can indulge more about this thing you do. People like that.. and you'll feel some real confidence. It'll take a few years to get there, that's why don't give up.