worried Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 hi well i've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now, i love him dearly and would be lost without him, but there's a slight well actually it's a BIG problem. i've met this other guy and we've become fairly close well it all started with flirting with one another and the next minute we were hugging then a few days later we were hugging and kissing. the next part of this problem is that he to has a girlfriend well actually they've just become a bit more than that. HELP! i don't know what to do whenever we're alone i feel so happy to be with him and i feel that if i had the chance i'd maybe lets say go the next step with him but i'm not completely sure with that cause we haven't had that particular test of being alone with nobody anywhere there's always been people fairly close by. PLEASE I NEED YOUR HELP AND PRETTY SOON IF POSSIBLE i know this is considered as cheating but i don't mean to hurt any body and i still really love my boyfriend. Could i be feeling this way cause he's my first true love? thanks for listening worried (Vic) Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 You have to learn that in love, as in life there is a consequence for every action. That means that if you do something wrong, regardless of why, you will pay the consequences. You say you love your boyfriend and that you would be "lost without him" you will find yourself without him if you continue flirting with another man. Your boyfriend would no doubt be extremely hurt and may well leave you high and dry if he finds out you were kissing another guy. If you feel that you prefer someone else you must break up with your boyfriend before you get on with the second man, this isn't just because it's the 'right thing to do' it's because you will pay in terms of guilt and pain if you don't. It sounds to me as if you really want this second guy, this may just be infatuation or it may be more, but part of being someone's girlfriend is committing to them (and not being intimate with someone else) so if you don't feel happy about that maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship at all. I don't mean to judge you, sometimes we get feelings for someone without warning, but just because you want something (or someone) doesn't mean that you have to go after them, you make a choice to follow a desire or not. There will be plenty of attractive men that hit on you while you're with someone in the future, learn now that just because that may feel nice, it's can be sweet poison. There's a famous saying that goes 'you can't have your cake and eat it!' Life means choices, no one can tell you who or what to choose but for goodness sake CHOOSE. If you really love your boyfriend choose not to be alone or flirt (or kiss) with the other guy. If you do not want to be with your present boyfriend any more, break up with him and make a play for the other guy if he's free. Those are your choices, making out with the one while still going out with the other is not a reasonable option - do not do it. Otherwise, whether or not you meant to hurt anyone, you will. Link to post Share on other sites
Fancy Posted October 4, 2003 Share Posted October 4, 2003 Originally posted by worried the next part of this problem is that he to has a girlfriend well actually they've just become a bit more than that. Does that mean he's gotten engaged? If that's true, then this guy obviously isn't sharing your feelings. He might want a little on the side with you, but it seems to me he's planning his life and future with someone..........and it's not you. I'd suggest you back away now. He's not yours to have. Don't hurt innocent people (your boyfriend and his girlfriend) just because you're having "feelings." How would you feel if you discovered your boyfriend had been playing kissy face with another girl? Link to post Share on other sites
Author worried Posted October 6, 2003 Author Share Posted October 6, 2003 no they got engaged before we met Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 Are you unhappy with the relationship you are in? Are you and your bf living together, making plans? Is the new guy into more? I know I'm answering with wquestions, but you'l have to ask yourself the same questions. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worried Posted October 8, 2003 Author Share Posted October 8, 2003 YES sometimes i'm unhappy in my relationship and we do live together, i don't know whats wrong with me i mean i love him and want to be with him but at the same time i want to try being with other guys , i think i feel so lonely and unhappy cause he's hardly ever around i feel as though i'm single but i'm not. i don't know what to do how do u know if your fulling out of love with someone?? Could it be possible Link to post Share on other sites
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