georgejungle Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 My Parents rarely come up to visit our new baby. Mom's always expressed a lot of love and was there at the hosipital birth, but doesn't drive up much. I guess she's just really busy. She is a woman on the go i guess, even at her 60 years. She & my Dad (Dad's 55) do have two 14 year old twins (my sisters) to watch over...AND they do live 2 hours away from us. But they're VERY active people, always out doing stuff, events with the twins, hiking, their weekends are always exciting, etc. Wife's parents come down a lot more (and they live 5 hours away) they express a lot more interest, are always calling to see how baby is doing, very into their Grandchild... I've been trying to figure this out...Are my parents just too busy with the twins? Last time they were at our house was because they happened to be in the neighborhood for something else nearby. I do have another brother older than me who lives in NYC. He and his wife had a kid 2 years ago. Mom flew out there to be there for the birth and gushed for years about the 1st grandchild! I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Angelina Nisse Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 Wow, with a new baby, I would think you would have plenty to occupy your mind besides worrying how often your mom comes to visit. Why not concentrate on your wife and child, and just stop fretting about how involved she is....your baby needs you, and so does your wife. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 george, I can completely equate.... The problem is, I think, from their pov, is that they have their lives full of caring and thinking of younger people, maybe they're getting to the point where they have to think about themselves. They've been spreading themselves a little thinly.... They still have children at home, and a busy life. Plus, as you say, they've done the first grandchild bit.... Please don't think that they don't love you, or your wife, or your baby. but having had children themselves, and having had young children presented to them, after a while it's hard to keep up the momentum and the enthusiasm.... Call them often, and tell them how much you miss them. Just suggest getting together at one point and spending a day with them. I'm sure they'd be happy for you to take the initiative, but try to understand, after a while, 'older' people, (who have been there, done that, read the book, seen the movie and bought the t-shirt) like to have time for themselves.....It's not a deliberate snub. It's just one of those things..... Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 A friend of mine has a 13 year old and a 9 year old. We used to talk quite regularly (every day for hours both in person and on the phone) when they were younger. But now she has sports they are involved in, events in their lives she has to drive them to or chaperon. Most of her available time is pre-booked weeks in advance due to the two kids schedules. Last time we had dinner we had to schedule it three weeks in advance and it got moved twice. We live 20 minutes from each other. Older kids just have more going on. So with two 14 year old girls who are close to driving age they have a lot going on I am sure. I am sure it isn't because they don't want to -- not in any way. It is just a matter of booking pretty much an entire day or days to be able to do it. They have to make sure that four people have nothing going on during the allotted time. Or two people and get someone who they can completely trust and who can be chauffeur, etc. for the girls. And they are teenage girls. Unfortunately as it is today you have to be pretty vigilant with teenagers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author georgejungle Posted February 23, 2009 Author Share Posted February 23, 2009 No, it's not something that is CONSTANLY on my mind, but there from time to time. I guess mainly because we see so much of Wife's parents, they'll ask if My parents have been up...and I always have to tell the truth, well, not really. However, your responses really made me think differently. They are busy, yes, and i can see how they have a lot on their plate with my two sisters. I know they have a lot of activities. I guess it just kinda bothers me when i've heard that my Mom and Dad and Sisters were a half hour away visiting other family...i'll think to myself, Why didn't they just come that extra way to see us? Anyway... I'm not gonna worry about it. Thanks SO much for the advice, sincerely. Link to post Share on other sites
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