Crestfallen_KH Posted February 23, 2009 Share Posted February 23, 2009 I've gotten myself into a real pickle. This last weekend, I started a blog. I hesitated telling my Mom about it, because she has a tendency to personalize things. Additionally, she infantilizes me, and I was afraid she'd send me e-mails or make comments about the things that I was doing in my life that I just wouldn't want to hear. I don't discuss really personal things, just post funny slice-of-life and observational things, so I thought it would be ok. But she's already driving me nuts. She made a "joke" in the comments section about one of my posts. Well, it went over my head and I responded to clear something up, and teased her a little. She sent me an e-mail this morning telling me I had no right to humiliate and attack her in public like that!? I apologized, as that wasn't my intent, and volunteered to delete it. She said forget about it. Then, a complete stranger posted a comment to the same post, and Mom went back on to "defend" her "joke," despite the fact that the poster wasn't even contradicting her or addressing her. She's totally personalized all the responses and is posting comments on other people's comments now, defending what she said despite the fact that no one is giving her a hard time or teasing her at all. To top it off, I put up a quick post yesterday that she took personally. It was meant to be ironic and was a funny slam against myself, and she chose to believe I was slamming her again. So now she's posted something like "was that to me?" in the comments section where, again, everyone can see it. I'm afraid to try and explain it to her for fear of "humiliating" her again. I've had some issues with my Mom my whole life because she often takes any recommendation, suggestion or conversation about how her behavior affects me as an attack, and she responds like a child. And now she's frankly making an idiot out of herself (though she accused ME of doing it) with her comments. I want her to stop posting any comments, but I don't know how to do it because it's going to start a fight and hurt her feelings. I've thought about blocking her ability to post comments and playing dumb ("Gee, Mom, I really don't know why your comments aren't showing up anymore?"), but I think she'd figure it out after awhile. Trying to explain how I feel (and in a healthy, non-confrontational way using "I" statements, etc.) and that her behavior is frustrating me won't help - she'll take it as a personal attack and sulk like a baby. Short of confronting her and explaining my position, I don't know what else to do, though. I thought I'd see if anyone here had any suggestions for how I can tell my Mom that she's welcome to read my blog, but I'd prefer she stop making comments to what I write? Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
flash582 Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 How about "Mom, I love it when you read my BLOG, but commenting on it makes me feel a bit weird .... you know, it's like your criticizing my diary or something." Link to post Share on other sites
Author Crestfallen_KH Posted February 24, 2009 Author Share Posted February 24, 2009 That's a good suggestion. Fortunately, I think I just got out of this. She sent me an e-mail saying that we obviously had a "generation gap" in our respective senses of humor and that she was going to refrain from posting anymore comments. Since she proposed it, I just decided to say "Well, that sounds like a good idea, Mom, maybe you should just send me your comments privately." so I hope that ends it. I'm just frustrated with my entire relationship with her, period. It's always a struggle. Thanks for the advice, but I guess I got out of this one. Let's hope she sticks to it! Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted February 24, 2009 Share Posted February 24, 2009 block her. And tell her why. Link to post Share on other sites
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