Where are all the good guys hiding? Are they all taken?? Or gay?!

[dvsxx6]

Hey guys,

 

So I'm just wondering where have all the good guys gone? I really don't want to sound conceited [which will inevitably sound conceited] but I KNOW that there is nothing wrong w/ me. I actually believe I've got a lot of great things going for me: I'm a college senior [going onto grad school in a sem or two], I get complimented on my looks and personality by guys [but they are guys I do not have interest in but who are interested in me], I have recently quit drinking and smoking [but I still go out and socialize, flirt and dance with friends], I work out 4-5x a week, I have great style [i've been called a fashionista], and above all, I am not into drama and/or cattiness [and from what I understand, this is HUGE when it comes to whata guy is lookin for in a mate, isn't it?]. Amongst other things, I like to watch college football, play video games and just chill yet I am very girly. I'm sarcastic and have a great sense of humor. Okay, now I'm just advertising myself, but anyway. lol.

 

I truly and honestly believe that the reason I have not had a long term relationship in 5 years is because the guys I go for have bad intentions. One guy I was seeing, a electrical engineer/bartender [good mix, I know!] was playing me. I'm about 90% sure that he was banging a couple of girls while he was talking to me. Could I blame him? Well, not really, with that kind of appearance and unique personality, no, but he is now forever on my "sh.it list" and I'm pretty mad that he did that to me. Another guy that I was seeing [he's in commercial real estate and is pretty much big time in his field] moved back to LA [i'm from/living in Hawaii, so that really wouldn't have worked out]. I suppose the quality of guys aren't the best since I've met them at bars, but where else am I supposed to meet them?

 

I've tried school, but they end up either 1) Not being of interest to me or 2) Just end up being "school friends".

 

I've tried Starbucks but always feel like they are always too busy [haha, well so am I but apparently I can come up for air and check out that hottie sitting alone on the couch. Yeah, I see you.] How the heck am I supposed to strike up a conversation with nothin to go on except "Wow he's hot and studious, I want to talk to him". I don't want to be creepy and ask what he's studying, cause it's none of my business lol.

 

I've tried meeting friends of friends which usually end up going horribly. I am not the type to go through eharmony or match.com since I believe that is not my calling or destiny. I am perfectly capable of finding people on my own, through my own personality, however, the thing that I believe that this is all about: Timing and opportunity. In time I will meet someone it's just that I haven't had the opportunity or haven't met the person that I've been lookin for.

 

So tell me women, for you that are happily involved with that special guy, the one that gives you butterflies and the guy who has a sense of humor, a guy that is sweet [not overly sweet, I prefer a balance of axxhole /sarcastic and sweet/sensitive but someone who still know how treat me like a princess], a guy with huge ambition and style [metrosexual is fine with me, I actually prefer it LOL. Please no borderline homosexuals though].. where can I find this guy? Where is this guy that I'm dreaming of? [please tell me this is not just a dream, but what I meant was my ideal guy lol]. I should make a list of what I'm lookin for but honestly, I don't believe I should be THAT picky. I have been on dates w/ lots of "winners" [hah!] so now I know what I'm lookin for. I am willing to make some sacrifices here and there if the person is deemed worthy in my opinion.

 

Anyway, thank you for any comments or feedback in advance! Any feedback is greatly appreciated!

 

XOXO *DvS*

 

PS. Why do guys who I find ugly/unattractive stare at me? But then when I look at a hot guy he looks at me and tries not to look and then when I look up when he thinks I'm not looking he looks away?! What the hell is up with that?! You guys are confusing lol. Just talk to me, please. haha. I promise I'm not intimidating. I'm actually kinda desperate yet not here.

[carhill]

Do you like to travel?

 

Great way to meet people and you send out more open signals, since you're in an unfamiliar place. You become more sensitive to potential and possibility.

 

Check out some of the threads by Isolde. She seems to have the same issue you do and much discussion has ensued.

[purgatori]

Good guys don't exist -- especially not one who embodies the mutually-exclusive qualities that you seem to desire for reasons that I will never fathom. Upgrade to girls

[Jaytb]

I've tried Starbucks but always feel like they are always too busy [haha, well so am I but apparently I can come up for air and check out that hottie sitting alone on the couch. Yeah, I see you.] How the heck am I supposed to strike up a conversation with nothin to go on except "Wow he's hot and studious, I want to talk to him". I don't want to be creepy and ask what he's studying, cause it's none of my business lol.

 

No one is too busy because no one does anything productive at Starbucks. Jk!

 

I've tried meeting friends of friends which usually end up going horribly. I am not the type to go through eharmony or match.com since I believe that is not my calling or destiny. I am perfectly capable of finding people on my own, through my own personality, however, the thing that I believe that this is all about: Timing and opportunity. In time I will meet someone it's just that I haven't had the opportunity or haven't met the person that I've been lookin for.

So you'll just have to wait it out won't you.

 

a guy that is sweet [not overly sweet, I prefer a balance of axxhole /sarcastic and sweet/sensitive but someone who still know how treat me like a princess]

So you want someone bipolar or schizo? Frankly I think what you see is what you get. If someone is sweet, then they're sweet. If someone is an ass****, then they're an ass****. I really think this "requirement" is a little ridiculous (just a little). I won't say someone like that doesn't exist, but I think it's just too rare a combination. For instance, I'm probably what you would call a "nice guy" (though not a doormat.) I never act like an ass**** to anyone ever, even people I despise I simply ignore. Most guys who are jerks can mask their jerk personality with a sweet facade to drawn you in, but remember, they're jerks. They'll still act like one.

 

a guy with huge ambition and style [metrosexual is fine with me, I actually prefer it LOL. Please no borderline homosexuals though]..

A lot of us non homosexuals have cr@p for style taste. Sorry. (lol)

 

where can I find this guy? Where is this guy that I'm dreaming of? [please tell me this is not just a dream, but what I meant was my ideal guy lol]. I should make a list of what I'm lookin for but honestly, I don't believe I should be THAT picky. I have been on dates w/ lots of "winners" [hah!] so now I know what I'm lookin for. I am willing to make some sacrifices here and there if the person is deemed worthy in my opinion.

The personality you want is rare I think.

 

PS. Why do guys who I find ugly/unattractive stare at me? But then when I look at a hot guy he looks at me and tries not to look and then when I look up when he thinks I'm not looking he looks away?! What the hell is up with that?! You guys are confusing lol. Just talk to me, please. haha. I promise I'm not intimidating. I'm actually kinda desperate yet not here.

The unattractive ones think you're good looking. The "hot guy" is too shy to ask you out (or isn't confident you would say yes if he would).

[fral945]

So I'm just wondering where have all the good guys gone? I really don't want to sound conceited [which will inevitably sound conceited] but I KNOW that there is nothing wrong w/ me.

 

The good guys are all over the place. The problem is you're not looking JUST for a good guy. You're looking for a good guy that also happens to be charming, loving, loyal, attractive, exciting, ambitious, stylish, dynamic personality, slightly bad boyish, treats you like a princess, etc., who just happens to want you and only you.

 

Read over what you wrote again. Do you think it sounds unrealistic? I do, and I'd be willing to bet most guys would say the same thing. If I was a guy that had all those qualities, it's not real likely I'd be looking to settle with one woman, because women would be all over me. Most "good guys" might have a few of those qualities, but not all. If I was you, I would prioritize which are the most important instead of trying to find a dream man. Try to look at relationships less from an idealistic, romantic fantasy standpoint and more from a realistic standpoint (like how this person would be day to day).

 

I am not the type to go through eharmony or match.com since I believe that is not my calling or destiny. I am perfectly capable of finding people on my own, through my own personality, however, the thing that I believe that this is all about: Timing and opportunity. In time I will meet someone it's just that I haven't had the opportunity or haven't met the person that I've been lookin for.

 

I wouldn't completely knock the idea. More options to me = more opportunities and more chance of success. Sure, if you're female and even moderately attractive you won't have a problem finding quantity of men to choose from. But aren't you really looking for 1 quality man?

[kdark]

Your definition of a good guy is waaaaay too lofty. Sweet and sensitive, kind of an a-hole, ambitious, stylish, attractive, and only has eyes for you? Maybe two or three of those, but any guy with all of those is going to be playing the field a whole lot...

[dvsxx6]

Wowwww, first of all, thank you thank you thank you to all of you who have responded! I know my story was pretty novel-like and appreciate all of the feedback! I am happy to see all of the responses and got a kick out of what you guys wrote. I'll talk about each in turn, and you guys are awesome! Thank you!

 

Do you like to travel?

 

Great way to meet people and you send out more open signals, since you're in an unfamiliar place. You become more sensitive to potential and possibility.

 

Check out some of the threads by Isolde. She seems to have the same issue you do and much discussion has ensued.

 

I love to travel, yet being that I'm a college student, right now I'm not able to afford it, gr. I definitely agree that traveling would be a great way to expand my horizons and see what's out there, but then again, I wouldn't want one of those "I'm on a vacation, let's hook up for the duration" kinda thing. That'd be fun, but not what I'm lookin for. I know that I will definitely travel after my grad/psy.d schooling, but for now, I'm on the prowl.. the prowl for somethin good, lol not necessarily for somethin bad or *DvS* lol.

 

I'll check out Isolde's posts, thanks carhill!

[dvsxx6]

Good guys don't exist -- especially not one who embodies the mutually-exclusive qualities that you seem to desire for reasons that I will never fathom. Upgrade to girls

 

Haha, I actually did upgrade to girls, I had 2 ex-gfs in the past. They are actually the girl version of what I look for in a guy, except, well.. more fufu [keep in mind, I like my guys kinda fufu too, just a LIL though!]. My last ex-gf and I used to share makeup, clothes, and she has a gorgeous face and got a body to kill for. She's ambitious, goin to school to become a lawyer, flirtatious and very sexy.

 

Things didn't work out though since I left her for a guy. The sex was great but lesbo sex is just not the same. I definitely prefer hot dogs over tacos. But anyway, we still talk and are on good terms.

[Peter_pan]

im still here lol

[dvsxx6]

Good guys don't exist -- especially not one who embodies the mutually-exclusive qualities that you seem to desire for reasons that I will never fathom. Upgrade to girls

 

Haha, I actually did upgrade to girls, I had 2 ex-gfs in the past. They are actually the girl version of what I look for in a guy, except, well.. more fufu [keep in mind, I like my guys kinda fufu too, just a LIL though!]. My ex-gf and I used to share makeup, clothes, and she has a gorgeous face and got a body to kill for. She's ambitious, goin to school to become a lawyer, flirtatious and very sexy.

 

Things didn't work out though since I left her for a guy. The sex was great but lesbo sex is just not the same. I definitely prefer hot dogs over tacos. But anyway, we still talk and are on good terms.

 

Thanks Purgatori for your input!

[Lizzie60]

simple... they're taken..

[dvsxx6]

So you'll just have to wait it out won't you.

Yeap, looks like it. Sucks kinda.

So you want someone bipolar or schizo? Frankly I think what you see is what you get. If someone is sweet, then they're sweet. If someone is an as.shole, then they're an as.shole*. I really think this "requirement" is a little ridiculous (just a little). I won't say someone like that doesn't exist, but I think it's just too rare a combination. For instance, I'm probably what you would call a "nice guy" (though not a doormat.) I never act like an as.shole to anyone ever, even people I despise I simply ignore. Most guys who are jerks can mask their jerk personality with a sweet facade to drawn you in, but remember, they're jerks. They'll still act like one.

The requirement isn't really a 'set' thing. I make adjustments as needed. I'm just saying there's a certain standard that they have to at least meet before I would consider them. Yes, cocky, but I like my guys cocky too. Heh, what can I say, I like cocks. Anyway. That's good that you have a balance of being nice with being real. I suppose what I meant by as.shole, was that I like a guy who has a sarcastic sense of humor. I like guys who are straight up, not TOO abrasive, who is lame by making fun of people at his/her expense but someone who is witty and who is kinda just sarcastic in nature. You're completely right about most guys being able to mask their jerk-off personality but [and I know I'm gona get a lota flack for this] but, I'd rather have a guy who was a jerk then a guy who is a softy/whipped guy with no balls. Honestly, I've had both types and I can't stand feeling like I have bigger balls than my bf [and I wasn't even born with or have balls!]. Please, learn to have a balance or at least just don't hand everything to the girl.

 

A lot of us non homosexuals have cr@p for style taste. Sorry. (lol)

Haha, that is true but very fixable. If he at least has potential, he is workable. I am not saying I want to mold the guy into what I like, but I believe that a guy with style is pretty important. It's almost as important as being ambitious, goal-oriented, sarcastic, etc. Yes, call that superficial, I am and honestly, I work hard for what I've got. Working out 4-5x a week eating healthy, working hard in school, etc. I am superficial!! [PS. I hope this doesn't prove any asian stereotype cause this is just my opinion of what constitutes my ideal self/being.]

 

The personality you want is rare I think.

Extremely rare, and also pretty unrealistic, I know. I've got to make some adjustments or at least figure out a way not to be so particular. When I meet someone I'm not like "If they don't have these exact qualities then they are ruled out". I just want to meet someone with at least 2 of the qualities I'm looking for [iE Ambitious and witty or Ambitious and with great style or Ambitious with a great sense of humor]. But no, I guess that is hard to come by, especially in Hawaii dammit. None as of late have met at least 2, so how the hell am I supposed to work with that? It's impossible.

 

The unattractive ones think you're good looking. The "hot guy" is too shy to ask you out (or isn't confident you would say yes if he would).

Don't be shy! Aghh.. I have abandoned approaching guys already when I want to get their number. That honestly should be the guys' job. Man up, son!

 

PS. I've got to go for now, I'll reply more to the responses later!

 

Thanks Jaytb!

[climbergirl]

Just don't go looking. That's all I can say. Go out, be yourself and things just transpire. I have my own recent experience about this.

 

Odd things happen when you're not looking or seeking for it.

[dvsxx6]

The good guys are all over the place. The problem is you're not looking JUST for a good guy. You're looking for a good guy that also happens to be charming, loving, loyal, attractive, exciting, ambitious, stylish, dynamic personality, slightly bad boyish, treats you like a princess, etc., who just happens to want you and only you.

You're right on the money but what constitutes good? You [most likely] have a different opinion of what you consider to be "good". That is simply a matter of perception and when I say good, I mean datable, and they should have at least 2 [2 is not much at all!] of the qualities I look for. Yes, standards, some may say high but I say if you don't aim high, you won't get what you really want. I won't feel fulfilled if I settle for less [i am willing to make some adjustments/sacrifices of the guys' qualities, but I am not going to completely go against my values and beliefs.]

 

Read over what you wrote again. Do you think it sounds unrealistic? I do, and I'd be willing to bet most guys would say the same thing. If I was a guy that had all those qualities, it's not real likely I'd be looking to settle with one woman, because women would be all over me.

Hahaha. Oh my, you are good. You are absolutely right on everything. I'll agree that I am bein a lil' unrealistic but I want the best things and those qualities are what constitutes my best/what I look for. And you're absolutely right about the guy not settling w/ 1 woman. The 2 guys I mentioned earlier [the charming electrical engineer/bartender and the a.sshole wealthy real estate/ex-bartender guy really DO/DID have all the girls all over them, yet they treated me very well and made like they were just "mine". Dammit, guess I've got to lower my standards JUST a little.

Most "good guys" might have a few of those qualities, but not all. If I was you, I would prioritize which are the most important instead of trying to find a dream man.

Great idea! I should take my head outa the clouds and come back down to earth, lol.

 

Try to look at relationships less from an idealistic, romantic fantasy standpoint and more from a realistic standpoint (like how this person would be day to day).

Alrite, I'm willing to settle a lil'. I dont' have a lot of time to think about this, so in a nutshell here's what I will settle for: 'A guy who is ambitious [meaning he is out of college and either starting his career or is already established in his career], 2) a guy with a great sense of humor, he must be sarcastic/kind of a d.ickhead and MUST be witty but fun to be around, 3) He must have style and smell good at all times, that way I will always be in the mood [Aqua di gio never gets old, or whatever I decide to buy for him. He should sleep in it too]. Btw, I see nothing wrong w/ this, he benefits hugely and so do I. [LoL, well okay, I'll admit, I am kinda joking about smelling good at all times, but that would be kinda fun ]

 

Sure, if you're female and even moderately attractive you won't have a problem finding quantity of men to choose from. But aren't you really looking for 1 quality man?

I do have a hard time finding a quality man. It's about opportunity [hardly any] and timing [chance encounter?] Maybe I am sending off the wrong message? I'm tryin not to dress so provocatively and being a lil' more conservative and notice that I get more looks from guys. Well, more looks meaning that they hold eye contact longer now as opposed to before

 

Thanks fral!

[dvsxx6]

Your definition of a good guy is waaaaay too lofty. Sweet and sensitive, kind of an a-hole, ambitious, stylish, attractive, and only has eyes for you? Maybe two or three of those, but any guy with all of those is going to be playing the field a whole lot...

 

You're absolutely, positively right about a guy with all of those qualities. I myself actually believe that I'm looking for a guy version of me. But not too much like me, but someone with a similar sense of humor/sarcasm, someone who takes great care of himself physically and mentally, shares simliar values, etc. I'll admit, I was quite a player back in the day [lol 2 years ago] but have come to my senses. Morally, I was pretty f-ed up. Thank God I've changed, big time.

 

Like some others on this board have mentioned, I must find a couple of qualities and work from there. Build on that. Lower my standards [i say "a little" nobody said by how much or how little, lol]. See where that goes. Don't be expecting too much upfront. People evolve. That sort of thing.

 

Wow, I think I'm being realistic!

 

Lol.

 

Thanks kdark!

[Jaytb]

Don't be shy! Aghh.. I have abandoned approaching guys already when I want to get their number. That honestly should be the guys' job. Man up, son!

 

Well, I have a girlfriend (Asian like you indicated about yourself) (yeah I know, what am I doing in the In Search Of... forum. I guess I just like this forum and a few others on this site). And I did ask her out. So, yes, manned up indeed.

 

I read your other posts and I guess I understand a little more about what you're looking for. Though I still don't understand the ass**** and sarcastic things. I mean, I can be sarcastic sometimes and I think I hate it. It's gotten me in trouble with friends before.

 

So I guess at least you know what you want. I don't think what you want is too unreasonable, (yeah, I know, my last post said the opposite didn't it) I mean, you want what most women want, someone that can "man up" when needed, and be nice to you as well.

 

He must have style and smell good at all times, that way I will always be in the mood [Aqua di gio never gets old, or whatever I decide to buy for him. He should sleep in it too].

Wow really? Didn't you know natural pheromones are a good aphrodisiac? It's funny, my girlfriend goes absolutely crazy over my "natural" smell, which is sweat. I think she'd hate it if I wore cologne instead.

[purgatori]

Haha, I actually did upgrade to girls, I had 2 ex-gfs in the past. They are actually the girl version of what I look for in a guy, except, well.. more fufu [keep in mind, I like my guys kinda fufu too, just a LIL though!]. My ex-gf and I used to share makeup, clothes, and she has a gorgeous face and got a body to kill for. She's ambitious, goin to school to become a lawyer, flirtatious and very sexy.

 

Things didn't work out though since I left her for a guy. The sex was great but lesbo sex is just not the same. I definitely prefer hot dogs over tacos. But anyway, we still talk and are on good terms.

 

Thanks Purgatori for your input!

 

It's a shame things didn't work out on that front then I honestly think it's easier to find a good girl than it is to find a good guy, especially if you're looking for someone who has a more 'layered' personality; human beings are complex, but I think that a lot of guys tend to be a little bit narrow in their focus (especially when it comes to relationships, because they often focused on _one_ thing), and often have the personalities to match.

 

In any case, although I agree with jaytb that someone cannot both be sweet and an a-hole at the same time, I have a better understanding of where you're coming from than before. Even as a guy (nominally, at least), I don't want someone who is a pushover -- in fact, I love girls who can be fierce and defiant when need be, and who never shrink away from standing up for themselves. That doesn't make them any less sweet, though, it just means that they have a strong character. I'm not a big fan of guys, but I know that there must be some guys out there who are both nice, and have a strong character -- perhaps you should look for them, rather than trying to find a guy who is balanced on right on the tipping point of jerkdom

 

If you're looking for a male version of you, then take heart: numerous studies in psychology and the social sciences spell out pretty unequivocally that like attracts like. Hard-working, driven, people like yourself often do find it somewhat more difficult to find romantic partners, due to time constraints and the demands that their various commitments entail, and some people might even find them intimidating for fear of not measuring up. Nevertheless people like that are highly sought-after, so you shouldn't have any trouble finding someone eventually -- at least, that's what the data would suggest.

[yongyong]

well those Nice guys usually described women (they say I want a man who knows how to treat a woman) are going to bore you. so those ladies end up with guys who treats them shix and find another one like that after breaking up.

 

honestly if I end up with ****ty woman, that's my fault

[Disillusioned]

simple... they're taken..

 

BZZZZZ! Wrong-O! They've given up. I know because I'm one of them.

[purgatori]

Didn't you know natural pheromones are a good aphrodisiac?

 

This is a myth. There is some evidence to suggest that women may be able to determine whether a potential mate has a complimentary immune system by smell, but pheromones are something that some other animals use to communicate, and insects use them to an even greater extent -- but if humans use them at all, it is only to a very weak degree. Our need, and therefore capacity, to communicate using pheromones probably declined as our verbal language capabilities increased. Plus, it's just gross.

 

I am also reluctant to identify being assertive with "man[ning] up". Assertiveness has a positive connotation, whereas "man[ning] up" sounds like one is switching to a more jerk-like/aggressive gear. It's not for me, I'm afraid, even if its what women have either evolved, or have been socially conditioned to like. Not that assertiveness is really for me either, -- I'm much too shy, -- but I'm not opposed to it.

[dvsxx6]

Well, I have a girlfriend (Asian like you indicated about yourself) (yeah I know, what am I doing in the In Search Of... forum. I guess I just like this forum and a few others on this site). And I did ask her out. So, yes, manned up indeed.

Good job for manning up, bravo. More guys should take your approach, which is the assertive, I've got balls approach.

I read your other posts and I guess I understand a little more about what you're looking for. Though I still don't understand the ass**** and sarcastic things. I mean, I can be sarcastic sometimes and I think I hate it. It's gotten me in trouble with friends before.

Lol. You've read my other posts? I don't recall what I wrote on those but I'm glad that brought you some clarification. I was doin some crazy things back then, but I'm sure I still wanted some stability in the love dept. Why do you hate being sarcastic? There's a good sarcastic and then there's a "you're trying to hard, shut up" kind of sarcastic. I mean sarcastic that you make people laugh through observational humor or word play, someone who is witty, and articulate. Kinda hard to explain I guess?

So I guess at least you know what you want. I don't think what you want is too unreasonable, (yeah, I know, my last post said the opposite didn't it) I mean, you want what most women want, someone that can "man up" when needed, and be nice to you as well.

Exactly. You hit the nail on the head. I want a guy who can be nice when I want him to be, and a jack-a about 85% of the time. Someone who can put up with my quick-witted jives and teases. It's kind of how I flirt at times. I just don't want a complete and total jack-hole. [btw, that's jack a.ss and a.sshole mixed into one. I just made it up lol].

Wow really? Didn't you know natural pheromones are a good aphrodisiac? It's funny, my girlfriend goes absolutely crazy over my "natural" smell, which is sweat. I think she'd hate it if I wore cologne instead.

Oh no, I do like natural guy smell, but not the stinky kind though. Not implying that you 'stink' and if so, your gf likes the 'stink', but since I have no particular guy that I want to smell that is of interest to me, I'll take the Aqua di Gio. But sure, if I had the hots for some guy in particular and he was sweaty but didn't stink/smell, I'd probably jump his bones in a second. A hot and sweaty guy who I am physically/emotionally attracted to will definitely get my juices flowin. TMI? I think just a lil'. LoL. Btw, I was kinda joking about him having to smell good all the time, lol. But that's cool, at least someone is truly paying attention to what I'm saying lol jk.

[dvsxx6]

It's a shame things didn't work out on that front then I honestly think it's easier to find a good girl than it is to find a good guy, especially if you're looking for someone who has a more 'layered' personality; human beings are complex, but I think that a lot of guys tend to be a little bit narrow in their focus (especially when it comes to relationships, because they often focused on _one_ thing), and often have the personalities to match.

I definitely agree about how it's easier to find a good girl than a good guy. Being that I've been with a girl and also that I am a girl [haha] and that I've also been with guys has shown me the differences first hand. I would elaborate but I feel that is pretty self explanatory for several different reasons.

In any case, although I agree with jaytb that someone cannot both be sweet and an a-hole at the same time, I have a better understanding of where you're coming from than before.

Yay, jaytb and you are now understanding me. Thank God, now I don't look like a total nutcase anymore by saying "I like as.sholes!" LOL.

Even as a guy (nominally, at least), I don't want someone who is a pushover -- in fact, I love girls who can be fierce and defiant when need be, and who never shrink away from standing up for themselves. That doesn't make them any less sweet, though, it just means that they have a strong character.

True, even guys don't like girls who are on either extreme of the spectrum. You want teh balance, and I notice that there are many girls who are not assertive, which can be highly unappealing. At the same time, you don't want someone who is completely dominant. It's hard to find that balance but luckily there are many people living in this world LoL. "Lots of fishes in the sea". Feels like I'm always going fishing for some reason.

 

If you're looking for a male version of you, then take heart: numerous studies in psychology and the social sciences spell out pretty unequivocally that like attracts like.

Hehe funny you say that. I'm a psychology major and sociology minor. That is true. I wish I could meet more guys in my Psychology field but unfortunately, my field is predominantly women. The few guys that are in Psych are "in touch with their feminine side/feelings". Um.. no thanks. I like metrosexual guys but only when it comes to their appearance. That's where it ends, and I think that if I combine their metrosexual appearance with the 'feminine side/feelings" that would cross over to homosexual which I stand no chance with. Game over.

 

Hard-working, driven, people like yourself often do find it somewhat more difficult to find romantic partners, due to time constraints and the demands that their various commitments entail, and some people might even find them intimidating for fear of not measuring up. Nevertheless people like that are highly sought-after, so you shouldn't have any trouble finding someone eventually -- at least, that's what the data would suggest.

I just hope I find someone in graduate school. I'm planning on moving to the mainland so hopefully I'll find someone there. I'm just tired of Hawaii and people here are so mediocre [i can say that cause I was born and raised here]. Harsh I know, but they don't even match up to the ambition level that I'm looking for and people here are so closed-minded and lazy. Can't wait to leave here.

 

Lol. Now I sound bitter. But I'm not. I think Hawaii is part of the problem, actually.

[dvsxx6]

BZZZZZ! Wrong-O! They've given up. I know because I'm one of them.

 

Don't give up! Keep the hope aliive man, you can do it. LoL

[purgatori]

Hehe funny you say that. I'm a psychology major and sociology minor. That is true. I wish I could meet more guys in my Psychology field but unfortunately, my field is predominantly women. The few guys that are in Psych are "in touch with their feminine side/feelings". Um.. no thanks. I like metrosexual guys but only when it comes to their appearance. That's where it ends, and I think that if I combine their metrosexual appearance with the 'feminine side/feelings" that would = homosexual which I stand no chance with. Game over.

 

The reason I said that was because I am in the same field A high ratio of female to male psychology students/practicioners seems to be a universal, even here in Australia, where I think that something like 80% of all registered members with the Australian Psychological Society are women. Unfortunately this hasn't bolstered my prospects of meeting someone, because another universal is that women tend to dislike men who are "in touch with their feminine/side feelings", as you say -- like me! So I guess I fit the male psychology student stereotype, although I am very far from being homosexual

 

I just hope I find someone in graduate school. I'm planning on moving to the mainland so hopefully I'll find someone there. I'm just tired of Hawaii and people here are so mediocre [i can say that cause I was born and raised here]. Harsh I know, but they don't even match up to the ambition level that I'm looking for and people here are so closed-minded and lazy. Can't wait to leave here.

 

Lol. Now I sound bitter. But I'm not. I think Hawaii is part of the problem, actually.

 

That could well be. But as you climb the academic/workforce "ladder", so to speak, you're bound to meet some pretty ambitious people... unless they're lazy, but somehow brilliant You might have to devote more time and energy to "fishing" than you might like, and that might be something that gets you down, but just from a logical standpoint, it should get easier.

[dvsxx6]

The reason I said that was because I am in the same field A high ratio of female to male psychology students/practicioners seems to be a universal, even here in Australia, where I think that something like 80% of all registered members with the Australian Psychological Society are women. Unfortunately this hasn't bolstered my prospects of meeting someone, because another universal is that women tend to dislike men who are "in touch with their feminine/side feelings", as you say -- like me! So I guess I fit the male psychology student stereotype, although I am very far from being homosexual

Oh no! Lol I really hope that I didn't offend you about the homosexual/'being in touch with your fem. side!" You're just an atypical psychology major and I really hope I didn't offend you, sorry purgatori! O_O LoL. Well actually, I wouldn't say I don't "like" guys who are in touch w their fem. side, I would prefer the guy to have a sensitive side.. The prob, however is if the fem. side is what he's all about, crying if we have a fight or calling me 4-5x a day just to say "hi" or is clingy, or just anything you'd classify as "girly tendencies", I'm gona have to end it.

 

And yes, you do seem far from homosexual. I just feel it. Lol.

 

You might have to devote more time and energy to "fishing" than you might like, and that might be something that gets you down, but just from a logical standpoint, it should get easier.

Hope it does get easier, I think it should. Just curious, what specific branch of psychology are you in?