purgatori Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Oh no! Lol I really hope that I didn't offend you about the homosexual/'being in touch with your fem. side!" You're just an atypical psychology major and I really hope I didn't offend you, sorry purgatori! O_O LoL. Well actually, I wouldn't say I don't "like" guys who are in touch w their fem. side, I would prefer the guy to have a sensitive side.. The prob, however is if the fem. side is what he's all about, crying if we have a fight or calling me 4-5x a day just to say "hi" or is clingy, or just anything you'd classify as "girly tendencies", I'm gona have to end it. Don't worry, you didn't offend me at all. I know full well what most women think of guys like me, and I won't lie, it does get to me (there's me being sensitive again ), but it's not "offensive" as such. It takes a lot to offend me -- it's hard to even think of something that would -- and even then, I don't believe in whining about it. Hope it does get easier, I think it should. Just curious, what specific branch of psychology are you in? I'm training to be a clinical psychologist, if that's what you're referring to? My research/therapy interests are mainly in the area of psychodynamic psychology though. How about you Link to post Share on other sites
lovestory5 Posted February 25, 2009 Share Posted February 25, 2009 Good guys exist, they are just taken. : ) Link to post Share on other sites
Author dvsxx6 Posted February 25, 2009 Author Share Posted February 25, 2009 Don't worry, you didn't offend me at all. I know full well what most women think of guys like me, and I won't lie, it does get to me (there's me being sensitive again ), but it's not "offensive" as such. It takes a lot to offend me -- it's hard to even think of something that would -- and even then, I don't believe in whining about it. Phew, thank goodness. You seem pretty open-minded and easy going about it [for the most part]. More people should take things in life lightly too and at least you can kinda joke about it hehe I'm training to be a clinical psychologist, if that's what you're referring to? My research/therapy interests are mainly in the area of psychodynamic psychology though. How about you Interesting! Right now, I'm deciding between Counseling psychology and Clinical too. I'm really not sure since I am very interested in both. I think I'll be able to make a more clear-cut focus once I'm in grad school, since undergrad doesn't really mean anything right now. Anyway, good luck and thanks for your advice, I really appreciate it! :-) Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 I found it interesting that you put periods where they weren't supposed to go. Link to post Share on other sites
Jaytb Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 This is a myth. There is some evidence to suggest that women may be able to determine whether a potential mate has a complimentary immune system by smell, but pheromones are something that some other animals use to communicate, and insects use them to an even greater extent -- but if humans use them at all, it is only to a very weak degree. Our need, and therefore capacity, to communicate using pheromones probably declined as our verbal language capabilities increased. Plus, it's just gross. It's not a myth! my purely anecdotal evidence says so! and as we all know anecdotal evidence is all that matters! Link to post Share on other sites
Zeta4PhiSius Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 dvsxx6 - It's really quite simple. The great guys aren't taken. They're the ones that you say "Let's be friends" to. Just sayin'. Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted February 26, 2009 Share Posted February 26, 2009 You could always just buy a male Realdoll. That would pretty well solve the problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dvsxx6 Posted February 26, 2009 Author Share Posted February 26, 2009 dvsxx6 - It's really quite simple. The great guys aren't taken. They're the ones that you say "Let's be friends" to. Just sayin'. Hm. I see what you mean, but that's not true in my opinion. The guys I say lets be friends to are not my ideal types so to me, those relationships wouldn't work out. Thanks for your feedback Zeta! Link to post Share on other sites
Author dvsxx6 Posted February 26, 2009 Author Share Posted February 26, 2009 You could always just buy a male Realdoll. That would pretty well solve the problem. Lol, I could but then what would I do? That wouldn't be very fun. Sure I could control him, but I want someone with their own opinions and values. I don't know if you're talking about a sex doll but even then I wouldn't be happy. lol. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 but I want someone with their own opinions and values. Uh huh.... sure.... sure...LOL:D Link to post Share on other sites
Zeta4PhiSius Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 dvsxx6 - I appreciate your response on this. So why not say to the guy that he's just not your type and say you want to be friends if you don't want anything from the guy at all? Why not just say no for good? I had the same incident with a friend of mine awhile back. I, unfortunately, ended up having feelings for her like I did when we first met a long time ago and finally told her (she had been divorced for quite a while beforehand). She said "let's be friends", continued to avoid me and finally said no to any contact whatsoever due to a "relationship" and no male friends outside of it, despite saying she was only interested in friends in the first place. The worst thing out of all this is I was never able to speak to her over the phone again...we would literally talk to each other for HOURS at a time over the phone when we were younger. When we started talking over the phone again it started going to the same place - we'd talk on the phone for a couple hours at a time. I had asked to be BFF because I didn't want to lose contact with her. Needless to say I was crushed that she wouldn't even care at all and not even want to be friends to pull something like that. We had just gotten back in touch with each other a year and a half before this occurred. Emailed back and forth several times a day. We met a long time ago back in elementary school but for some odd reason even with her new boyfriend she still prefers to stay in touch with me online, respond to emails, etc. Why would you lead someone on and claim to want to be friends when you don't want anything from the person at all? I'm certainly not saying you've done this or have. I'm just trying to get my head around this particular issue that's been bugging me for quite awhile and it's been screwing with my self esteem a LOT. It would seriously help me see things in a better light if I could get some idea of how or why anyone would do something like this to a long time friend that was 100% honest from the get-go. Any feedback from other ladies on this situation would certainly be appreciated as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Zeta4PhiSius Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 dvsxx6 - Urrrmm...sorry about that. Didn't mean to hijack your thread there. Attn MODS: Could you please delete the previous post? I should have added it to its own thread. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 [metrosexual is fine with me, I actually prefer it LOL. Please no borderline homosexuals though].. That isn't fair is it? Aren't you one? Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 They are the men you rejected, fell out of love with and cheated on because you just didn't feel it. Today they are jerks because they got tired of being treated like doormats. Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Sorry, but the good guys have become invisible to the unaided eye. That's because they've realized that if they want to avoid getting "friendzoned", they have to come off like cocky a55holes at first. Sooooo... keep trying your luck with cocky a55holes. You never know, there could be a "good guy" lurking underneath. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 27, 2009 Share Posted February 27, 2009 Sorry, but the good guys have become invisible to the unaided eye. That's because they've realized that if they want to avoid getting "friendzoned", they have to come off like cocky a55holes at first. Sooooo... keep trying your luck with cocky a55holes. You never know, there could be a "good guy" lurking underneath. By the time men reach that point there is no nice guy there anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 Good guys exist, they are just taken. : ) A rare one has been known to be thrown back into the pool or swims his way free. Not every woman places the same value on a good man (and vice versa). Link to post Share on other sites
purgatori Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 By the time men reach that point there is no nice guy there anymore. True enough. Link to post Share on other sites
SierraRose Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 OK, you are reading waaayyy too much into this....Sounds like you are looking for a very specific guy. "Good guy" is a general term. Sounds like you want the hot, kind, sweet, endearing, loving, honest, funny, loyal, perfect human being...KEEP LOOKING...because no one is perfect... Link to post Share on other sites
SierraRose Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 dvsxx6 - It's really quite simple. The great guys aren't taken. They're the ones that you say "Let's be friends" to. Just sayin'. ^5:bunny::bunny::bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
purgatori Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 They are the men you rejected, fell out of love with and cheated on because you just didn't feel it. Today they are jerks because they got tired of being treated like doormats. This is rather unfair. You don't know anything about the OP's romantic history, beyond a few details here-and-there, and yet you are using her as some sort of archetype of the "cold/rejecting woman" against which to vex your personal frustrations -- a common thread in this, er.. thread. There is far too much of the self-pitying "men are victims, women are bitches" nonsense floating around on this forum, but I suppose it is to be expected; most men are very quick to reach this conclusion when they experience a lack of success with the opposite sex. They latch onto the general air of misogyny that still pervades modern society, and combine this with a sense of male entitlement/privilege, whereby they believe that women are somehow obligated to sleep with them. It's pathetic, really. Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 OK, you are reading waaayyy too much into this....Sounds like you are looking for a very specific guy. "Good guy" is a general term. Sounds like you want the hot, kind, sweet, endearing, loving, honest, funny, loyal, perfect human being...KEEP LOOKING...because no one is perfect... Sometimes, finding the right person requires breaking the rules. Think of the first person who wrote a personals ad, or started a dating service. Those things were probably outrageous back then. They are the men you rejected, fell out of love with and cheated on because you just didn't feel it. Today they are jerks because they got tired of being treated like doormats. No, they are just bad-tempered old alcoholics who'd kill their own mothers because too much trust has been destroyed. There is far too much of the self-pitying "men are victims, women are bitches" nonsense floating around on this forum, but I suppose it is to be expected; most men are very quick to reach this conclusion when they experience a lack of success with the opposite sex. They latch onto the general air of misogyny that still pervades modern society, and combine this with a sense of male entitlement/privilege, whereby they believe that women are somehow obligated to sleep with them. It's pathetic, really. That pretty much describes datingsitesreviews.com to a T... a bunch of guys who are hateful and sour because they thought OLD was a shortcut to low-cost, commitment-free sex. I have no respect for guys like those, they are slaves to their sexual urges and they deserve to get burned; but OTOH I don't have any respect either for "successful" women who really believe that any man is a dud unless he is a clone of Donald Trump. Link to post Share on other sites
kdark Posted February 28, 2009 Share Posted February 28, 2009 Part of the problem stems from not understanding that failure for men and women with dating looks completly different. Men whine about getting shot down by women or being too shy to ask them out. Women whine about not finding/attracting the right kind of guys. To men, the female plight is hard to feel pity for because any guy would dream to be in that position. And I think women don't even notice/care about the male plight, because confidence is something that is paramount for women to feel attracted to a guy. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 or it could be the case that some girls aren't good girls themselves or are uncertain of what they want and are attracting what they put out. I've seen girls rip on some guy they didn't like (whom was a nice guy) - go for a jerk, suave player or a guy whose hung like a horse/has lots of money/has tons of girls - end up bitter and wanting what they described as the same guy they previously ripped. The nice guy's options are to harden up/not give a damn or hold out with their lonliness and search elsewhere. The quick & dirty would be the first option. For any really nice guys out there, there's nothing wrong with being single. Link to post Share on other sites
ianandris Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 "...but they are guys I do not have interest in but who are interested in me." This is where most of them are, tbh. I feel for you, but this is what it always boils down to: you can't find a good guy because your standards are high (maybe unrealistically high). I'm in the same boat, though, no doubt about it. Can't find a decent girl for the life of me. Link to post Share on other sites
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