justaguy Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 A dear friend that I work with is dying. I admire him alot. He is a great person to be around - always laughing and just a unique and wonderful person. He has cancer and they will not operate. He'll get one last operation on Monday and they will send him home to die. His wife and family are with him and he is well-loved. I went to see him in the hospital today. He wouldn't hardly look at me. I couldn't stay long because they were getting ready to give him a bath. When I got ready to leave he started crying. His wife and son were there (whom I don't know) and it was a little awkward. I just said, "I'll see you later" and then I left. I felt so bad. I wish there were something I could do or say to him to make him feel better. On one hand it makes me feel very empty. On another hand it makes me want to do something to make ease his plight. This man has made the world a better place and he doesn't deserve to go. Link to post Share on other sites
LadyX Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 Go to his home when he is there, and tell him that he touched your life, and you're a better person for it. Ask him if there is anything he would like you to do, or say to his other co-workers. And don't be afraid of the tears, (yours or his) he is sure to be touched by hearing that you admire him. Link to post Share on other sites
befuddled1 Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 I am really sorry for what your friend, his family, and you are going through. This is never easy. You are a good friend/person for having had the courage to go and see him in the hospital...often times people find that kind of thing so awkward and upsetting that they distance themself rather than being their for their dying loved one. Perhaps you could get the people at work to get together and make a sort of scrapbook for him......have everyone write in it, their favorite memory of him.....what he means to them......maybe some pictures of you all.........that kind of thing. Then when he's at home, he can look over it.....and treasure it, and have something tangible to show him how much people care about him You might also want to speak with his wife and offer to help in any way you can, especially when he goes home..I'm sure it will be hard for her, knowing her husband is going away to die. You could also spend time with him, too. You might wish to contact your local Hospice (place for the terminally ill, your local hospital should be able to tell you the name of one) and talk to someone about things you could do to lift up/help your friend during his last days........sometimes we just don't know WHAT to do or say. Above all, try not to treat him like he's fragile or dying......try to treat him as per usual.......talk to him like normal, but allow him to cry or vent or just be silent, as he needs. I wish you the best. I hope others will have some good suggestions. Of all the trivial stuff on these forums, I hope people will take the time to respond to this important thread of yours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author justaguy Posted October 7, 2003 Author Share Posted October 7, 2003 Thank you for your responses. I received news that he died today. Nobody expected it to happen so quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 a quick death is best in this case, in my opinion - the agony of awaiting near death must be unbearable for him & the family... sorry, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
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