Girasole Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 I've done some research about how to go about doing it, but where I live you have to apply at the county courthouse and get the approval of the clerk of court. In some cases you have to defend your reasons before a judge. Maybe I'm paranoid but I'm so worried that I'll be stuck with this name forever... and I understand that there are worse problems, but the name bothers me for reasons I can't explain. I want to change my surname because I hate it, it's ugly, and I don't identify with it, and my full name is common. It's ugly. It's just not music to my ears, and I hate the way it sounds together. This is going to sound strange but I can't help it. I've never been able to identify with that surname. I always felt like I was meant to be named something else. Whenever I was forced to answer to that name I felt like I was being forced to put on someone else's ugly old garment. Like I was being forced to be someone else. I always get annoyed when I run into someone else with the same full name. I feel like people need to have a sense of individuality and a sense of identity. What's the point of having a name if it doesn't uniquely identify only you? Every school I've ever attended, there's another Sara Jones... at the library there are ten Sara Joneses to sort me out of... I'm always getting confused with some other Sara Jones. I can't walk down the street but trip over another friggin' Sara Jones. It's so irritating. I can never cherish a name that makes me feel like a product that was mass produced on an assembly line. I want a name that uniquely identifies only me. (I hate the name Sara, but I don't plan to change it. Not many of my friends call me Sara. They call me Sarita. Most people I see every day are not my intimate friends and they call me that last name I hate.) I don't culturally identify with the last name Jones (not my actual name but something VERY similar). It's too "All American" and I want something more ethnic. There's nothing wrong with being American... it's just... I feel more latina than anglo. I would like to have a Spanish (as in Spanish language... not all Hispanics are Spanish, I realize) last name. I mean this with all respect and don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I just want a special link to the latin culture. Futhermore I teach Spanish and a last name like Jones doesn't exactly inspire confidence. It's humiliating. People always assume I'm some dorky Peggy Hill type, they always judge me. I've actually had parents call me and say, "I know you don't speak Spanish because of your last name" and it makes me CRAZY! I speak almost PERFECT Spanish and I have Spanish blood... but people hear that surname and that's all they ever see in me. All my Spanish relatives are long dead, and I didn't have anyone to teach me Spanish. I had to learn it in college and my parents didn't pay for me to go to college. I bought my college education with my tears and my sweat and my own money and people assume I'm an uneducated hick. I worked so hard to have a better life and I don't want a surname that holds me back. A name represents you, it's the summary of who you are in one word, and I hate having one that paints a grossly distorted picture of me. When I was a little girl I fell in love with latin culture and learned Spanish and I was really happy at first when I found out I had a Spanish relative, but the surname I got stuck with spoiled all my joy. I don't hate America or Anglos, I just IDENTIFY with latin culture. I want to be part of that world. I feel foolish telling people that I have Spanish blood because it just sounds ridiculous. I used to tell people and they'd say something smart like, "YEAH, RIGHT!!!... and Beyoncé is my sister." It's killing me. I want so badly to be a part of latin culture and I hate the name because it's keeping me an outsider. I want to change my surname to my Spanish ancestor's surname. It means so much to me to have a name that I identify with and cherish. It annoys me that they make things so difficult in North Carolina. In England, if you want to change your name, you do it by something call deed poll (you Brits please correct me if I'm wrong?). You just fill out a form and make an announcement: This is my new name! No muss, no fuss. I also want to change my middle name. Got a horrendous middle name... it's not even a girl's name. Marleigh. WTF? :S Here, you have to go beg someone for permission and someone else decides whether or not to allow you. (And they call the USA the land of the free? :S) Would these be valid reasons to change my name? How do I explain this to a judge? I just feel like names should be sacred! Thanks, in advance.
quankanne Posted February 25, 2009 Posted February 25, 2009 I dunno, I think Marleigh is lovely ... but then again, I'm a fan of old Bob Marley I totally get you on liking and wanting to adopt your ancestor's surname – I figured if I ever had kids, there are some lovely family names I'd want to use for my babies that haven't been used for a couple of generations, because I'd want to keep them "alive" ... now, the name you're changing to, would a valid reason for court purposes be that you're concerned about stolen or confused credit because it's such a common name? And that changing it would protect your identity since your new surname isn't as common? another idea is to take the name you like and use it as a nickname, my brother did that, and half of the people he knew after he left home knew him by "Travis," so we had to make sure we were identifying him properly, and I do believe he would sign his name as Firstname "Travis" Surname. And it worked! other family name change is that of my husband's dad, who was baptized "Elmer Winfred," after a preacher that Mamie (husband's granny) admired. Grandpa wasn't happy with it and started calling the boy "Bob." When my FiL was old enough to legally do so, he changed his name to Robert and went by "Bob," and his oldest child was given that name as well. don't give up, no matter what roadblocks may appear – this is definitely worth pursuing if it gives your self-worth and self-identity a boost.
Author Girasole Posted February 25, 2009 Author Posted February 25, 2009 Thanks for writing back. It's just that it's really annoying to have a full name that just doesn't feel right... it just feels like it was supposed to be someone else's name. That's a good point about identity, I never thought of that. But you're right. There was another girl in my high school that I didn't like who had the same full name as me and I was always getting confused with her (she got in trouble a lot). I always got things straightened out, but having to share a name with someone annoyed me. It made me feel generic, like some product that was mass produced in a factory. I want a name all my own.
Recommended Posts