BodaciousBunny Posted October 5, 2003 Share Posted October 5, 2003 This was two days before I left....in a journal. Me : I miss walking in the park, holding hands - talking, everything seemed to stand still and it seemed like we were the only two people in the world. Spending quality time with each other, because we wanted to. I also miss how you used to come up behind me and put your arms around me and just hold me for what seemed like an eternity. I guess in a way it made me feel special, loved...how so? Because to me it says that you stopped what you were doing or stopped talking to whoever so you could find me and be close to me, that I was in your thoughts; you were thinking of me. And that's nice to know, that someone you love thinks of you every now and then. How strange...that you could miss little things about a person, who they were...what they did - yet they're not even gone....... Love you my angel =) Him: I miss those times as well. It would seem that I've managed to make myself somewhat unavailable in that regard with all of the recent activities and projects... I'm still working on the psychology behind it. It's not that I don't want those things, it's just that right now there is so much stuff going on that by the time I can just relax and chill out, I'm exhausted. I spend every day with my mind racing... drafting, network administration, music production, planning things and redrawing designs in my head... it can become quite overwhelming. Like I said, there has to be some deep psychological reason for it... beyond the basic wanting of it all I mean. I'm happy for the most part. There are some things that trouble me, and perhaps it's those little things that drive me to otherwise be preoccupied. Sometimes I feel like I'm content... happy. Other times I wonder if maybe I'm just too busy right now in my life for this type of relationship. Ugh! I feel bad for being unavailable... both physically and emotionally. (See, he said he was happy) yet this past friday or wed...he said he wasn't happy. Which is it? He says two different things... Link to post Share on other sites
Author BodaciousBunny Posted October 6, 2003 Author Share Posted October 6, 2003 Okay so I'm getting views but no replies... please, somebody just help me understand!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Iamhappy Posted October 6, 2003 Share Posted October 6, 2003 What are you asking for? If you were a little clearer with your request it might help in getting responses. Just an observation: You say: He says two different things... and yet he's doing the following: It would seem that I've managed to make myself somewhat unavailable Other times I wonder if maybe I'm just too busy right now in my life for this type of relationship Link to post Share on other sites
Author BodaciousBunny Posted October 6, 2003 Author Share Posted October 6, 2003 I want to know why this past friday he said he has been unhappy, when clearly just last week he said he was happy ...he expressed it and told me. So.... Is he now saying he is unhappy because he is confused? It just doesn't make sense.... Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted October 6, 2003 Share Posted October 6, 2003 Why do you think it's impossible for him to waver between feelings of happiness and unhappiness? Link to post Share on other sites
Author BodaciousBunny Posted October 6, 2003 Author Share Posted October 6, 2003 Originally posted by clia Why do you think it's impossible for him to waver between feelings of happiness and unhappiness? It's just that he said he was happy a week ago..he expressed it even. But this past friday when he was angry he said that he's been unhappy, with the relationship. Which is it? How can you tell someone you are happy, and even their family tells you this is the happiest they've seen them. And then they tell you they've been unhappy. To me it sounds like he is confused... Link to post Share on other sites
VASH THE STAMPEDE Posted October 6, 2003 Share Posted October 6, 2003 It maybe possible, he might have depression syndrome,he'll be happy one moment and the next he drowning in his feelings. All i could say is talk to him about whats bothering him .If he doesn't want to, tell his family to seek Psychiatric help. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted October 6, 2003 Share Posted October 6, 2003 um, i'm not sure i understand what's happening here with you too, but i think you should give him some serious space for a bit. he _is_ telling you clearly that he is busy and unavailable. he is even naming all the things he needs to think about besides you. i think he has the capacity to be happy with you but you are putting too much pressure on him and he is starting to associate you with feeling guilty. people do not like to feel bad and eventually seek to eliminate the source of bad feelings. here are my straight-up tips: *no more journals entries like the one you sent him. please take this in the loving spirit it is meant: you are way too needy. have some discipline, focus on other things; i think he will come back to you, emotionally. *no more with the 'missing' rhetoric, specifically. tell him you appreciate the things he does, but don't focus on how you like it when he stops doing other things to be with you. put it in the form of memory if you lie, instead - like, you remember, fondly, doing this stuff with him - but the 'missing' element only makes you sound like you are unsatisfied and lacking. this is not fun to hear. we all want to believe our beloveds are investing at the same level. but you reduce your own value by focusing so much on him and his reactions. who cares if he is confused? how do you feel? hugs, j Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts