When you know you don't care about him anymore ...

[gwynieatpain]

I guess I finally come to the point that I really don't care about him anymore.

 

Sept last year I was preparing all paper works for the wedding.

 

Early Oct I had quitted my job and got ready to move to his country. He then broke up with me via email, told me he didn't love me anymore the next day, asked me to transfer his money back the third day, lied to me about flying away for 2-month holiday just to avoid talking to me again. When I flew to Sydney to collect my belongings he switched off his phone.

 

Oct to Nov, seeing therapist and having friends and family supporting me through the healing. In the meantime I met some wonderful persons.

 

Late Nov, after a 3-week holiday with a woman who is 10 years of his age, he passed by my country and asked for meeting up. I posted a thread on LS and got wonderful advices. I didn't meet him at the end.

 

After that, NC all the way. Suffering from a mix of emotions: grief, anger, annoyance, disappointment, hatred blah blah blah. Everyday was different and difficult to me.

 

Late January this year, I found out that he had been cheating and sleeping around behind me (with a korean chick, a co-worker and an ABC and other random girls from pubs and bars) when we were still engaged. My negative emotions reached the peak. Again I was grateful for finding good supports from LS.

 

Now, I'm like ... whatever! The break up was for my best. My ex actually did me a great favor. I don't need an apology anymore. It really doesn't bother me anymore if he's with someone else. F#ck with kimchi if he finds it convenient. I hope the break up was made earlier and stop wasting my time to mourn or to torture myself for any longer.

 

Throughout the whole healing process I learnt a lot from others and stuck with three rules:

1) Stop seeking his approval. It doesn't make me a worthless person if he's not in love with me anymore.

2) Stop digging and ducking for what went wrong. The real reason will surface at the right time.

3) Stop giving him power to rule your emotion.

 

Finally, forgive yourself and learn from experience.

 

It's just my little sharing. We have our own timeline to heal. I believe Karma does her work as always so stay strong and have faith that you will meet your next significant one very soon.