Author Cal999 Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 Hey Island Girl "Two of my mom's brothers married Japanese women. Apparently she had a problem initially when they married and confronted them about it but had to accept it because they were her brothers." Don't you think that if your mom accepted her brother's relationships she'll come around to accepting yours? Has your mom ever spent time with you & your husband together? Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Hey Island Girl "Two of my mom's brothers married Japanese women. Apparently she had a problem initially when they married and confronted them about it but had to accept it because they were her brothers." Don't you think that if your mom accepted her brother's relationships she'll come around to accepting yours? I'm not really sure. As far as her brothers go - she says they are her brothers, she can't control their actions or their lives so she had to accept it. But with me I am a <insert last name here> and they are not. I have the family's reputation at stake. Even though she married into that name, my father left us while I was an infant (he's a real piece of work), etc. She has always said no, that she'll never accept it, and the first thing she said when I said I was getting married was that she hoped I wasn't planning on having any children. But she said if I married him my relationship with her would change and so far it hasn't (but he isn't here yet either). My brother says she will come around. That we couldn't be this close and then all of a sudden nothing. But my mom sees it as me making a decision to keep her out of my life - although she is the one deciding that. - Does that make any sense? Has your mom ever spent time with you & your husband together? She has refused to. When I introduced him to her she looked right at him and said angrily I'll be in my room! That was the first time he'd experienced prejudice first hand. He didn't really understand - so I had to explain it to him - that she disliked him because of his skin color. And he was visibly upset about it. Link to post Share on other sites
LeroyJose Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 bluehare07 "That's right, the more that they know about each other, the more that they'll understand the one another. Make moves so they'd get more time and of course prepare for the unexpected. Talk to your girl and ask her to be more patient with your mom. After all, if ever you'll be together in the end, she's not gonna sleep with your mom right?" No bluehare...she's not going to sleep with my mom - I don't know whether I should laugh at that or burst into tears when it comes down to it I guess getting them to hang out together would be important too, what I won't do is give either of them an ultimatum on spending time together. I am 23 BJ I'm not dependent on anyone - I'm a business man and take care of myself, but this situation is new to me. And trust me I have gotten pretty loud with my mom about this. I think she knows where I stand now. "remember they are the ones who raised me. My values are from their teaching." If I were to do what my mom says and marry before shagging, I'd be a lonely dude So that was another bridge that I crossed without being weak - but you can't satisfy everyone now can you? Got your point there Cal. Sometimes there's no need to be loud about it. As long as you've clearly established your position then that's it. Believe me, it's not a rare problem. There are a lot out there suffering in this situation. You always have a choice. I'm not saying that you rebel against your mom but go with your girl. Your mom is your mom whatever you do and she'll definitely be there whatever happens, against all odds. Afterall, you're his son. Link to post Share on other sites
LeroyJose Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Even if someone has a problem that doesn't make them racist, I have a black friend who hates Interracial relationships and yet we are friends. I am white, he is black, we are basically brothers in the sense we have known each other for years. Bigoted it maybe, racist, it most certainly is not. What makes the preference of supporting interracial relationships anymore right/superior to the preference of being against it? Being against Interracial relationships is more about preserving one's race (which is stupid as all human will die with the earth when our day of reckoning happens) than it is about racial supremacy or racist ideals. Great post! You're definitely not a racist to me. It just so happened that you're not attracted to other race's women. But just a question. Your can opt not to answer this. What if you fell in love with a girl that is of different race than yours? This is very common nowadays. Again, you can opt not to answer this. Link to post Share on other sites
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