serenitylies Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 So the guy I was so called "seeing" has left me hanging on a limb. He doesnt answer my phone calls or my text messages. When we pass each other he doesnt make eye contact and we dont exchange any words. My ex has returned and he tells me he still loves me and he misses me. He comes over whenever I feel down and he tries his best to make me feel better. I asked him what he wanted to do about everything, about us and he said he doesnt know because he does have a girlfriend at the moment and hes just very confused. And I personally dont know what to do either. Hes hurt me alot when we were going out in the past and Im not sure if I can deal with the pain again, but I do love him and I do care about him alot. Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 Move to Arizona. You're better off without either of them. Link to post Share on other sites
KerrLou82 Posted March 1, 2009 Share Posted March 1, 2009 Give things another go with your ex. Believe me, I could have written this same question. I was in a violent relationship and left it thinking perhaps somewhere there would be a guy who would treat me better. This isn't the movies – that doesn't happen. I have a lot of male friends who are wonderful guys and they speak all the time about how they're sick of gorgeous, selfish, mouthy, controlling, temperamental, party-girls and how they wish they could be with a woman who was cute, homely, polite, shy, generous and understanding. But don't you believe it – any guy who says that is talking rubbish, even if they don't know it themselves. What men don't realise is that it takes a long time to really fall in love with someone, but they still assume 'love' to be that feeling of lust and infatuation they feel instantly for these gorgeous party-girls. That kind of lust and infatuation does not happen with the cute, shy, homely women so they won't even bother giving them the chance for their affections to grow. And if and when they do feel any affection for them over time, it's usually too late. So that is why they never end up with the kind of women they want. And that is why all the cute, shy, homely women end up with creeps. Now I'm not going to say that party-girls don't end up with their fair share of creeps because they do – but naturally their odds are better since they just sleep around until they find a nice guy they can treat badly. Nice girls don't sleep around. That's why we are limited in choice. If the man who cares about you most at the moment is your ex, then give him another go. What have you got to lose? Nothing but dates with seemingly-nice but hypocritical men who will flatter you, tell you that you're the kind of girl they're looking for, then let you down and just treat you like you're the thing to do between better things to do. When choosing a partner you only need to answer this one theoretical question: if you were rushed to hospital right now, who would drop everything to be by your bedside, other than your family? If you can't name a single guy, then be with no-one. If you can only name your ex, be with him. But be with the one who will love you and always be there for you. Forget the past. People change. Link to post Share on other sites
Author serenitylies Posted March 24, 2009 Author Share Posted March 24, 2009 I would be with my ex if he has changed, but he hasnt. He swore he did, and that he will, but he hasnt. He broke up with his girlfriend to prove to me that hes worth my time, but the next day I found out that he had gotten back with her. I hadnt even been told and it was too late when I found out, so I told him that his chance to prove to me that he deserves me was cancelled. He was devastated but thats his own loss, not mine. Another day, him&his girlfriend had an arguement because she was mad that he was still friends with me and that we still talk, so I told him that if they were to get back together (which he doubted), Im going to end the friendship. Next day, I saw him with a hickey on his neck and I knew instantly that they had gotten back together. He had told me later on that day, that they didnt because he wanted to talk to me first, but I wouldnt have it. He knew what was going to happen if they were to get back together but he didnt even bother to consider it. And honestly, Im much better off without him in my life, because now I have better chances of being in a relationship without my feelings for my ex holding me back. I may have lost a friend, and it hurts deeply, but Ill gain more within my path of LIFE. And if he was so devastated about me not being his friend anymore, hed try to make it up to me at least. Ive removed every little bit of memory of him OUT of my house. Ive either given it back to him or I threw them out. However, I cant seem to get myself to stop thinking of him some of the time that I spend at home, or in places that we've been together. Link to post Share on other sites
mr.dream merchant Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Stop messing with douchebags. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Ive removed every little bit of memory of him OUT of my house. Ive either given it back to him or I threw them out. However, I cant seem to get myself to stop thinking of him some of the time that I spend at home, or in places that we've been together. Interesting....last night I was cleaning the closet out and found a plastic bag on the top shelf that had a bunch of my wife's old swimsuits in it. As I took those suits and placed them in a box to take over to her new house I couldn't help but see the memories of places we had been and things we had done. The feeling was kind of like when I cleaned out my mom's house after we placed her in the dementia facility. It was like she had died. In truth, what I was mourning was the loss of the love that I once had for her (my wife). Be alone. Stay away from the ex and the "seeing" guy. Generically, men are no more or less "unreliable" than women are. The key is finding someone who is compatible with youself; then, within the dynamic of your relationship, you each will be as reliable as the other desires and you can talk about ways to further those goals. It is possible Link to post Share on other sites
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