jess90 Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 :sick:so over a year ago i met the most amazing man in my life n things moved pretty fast between us. my partner is my first love iv had other relationships but i have never felt like this about anyone before. i have been cheated on in past relationships but due to it not being serious i never got hung up over it. things were going great until i was browsing on his laptop and came across photos of him and another woman. i didnt say anything when i found them bcos it was an acident coming across them and i didnt want to make a big thing about it. about a month later he called me someone elses name and it was a bit brutal but i decided again not to look too much into it even tho it was apparent i was hurt by the incident. a few months after this we got onto the conversation of ex's and he was very quiet about his past, not sayin how long his relationships had been or how old the women wer or really that much into it. he did then tell me he was still in touch with one of his ex's n i didnt think much of it at first. this came up again later and i wanted to know why he wud be intouch with an ex who lives so far away, didnt mean anythin to him, had just been a casual thing n if she was so aweful and had previously ruined a relationship he had with someone else, would he want to have contact. the first reason was money. he had apparently lent her money n was waiting for her to give it bk. then it was becos he wanted to cos he trusted her n wanted to be in touch. being honest i was jealous at first a bit wary as she had ruined one of his relationships b4 but decided it was his decison. things start to go great again n then he works away one weekend n comes bk with hickies on his neck. this shocked me more then anything. he told me he had fallen n got it tht way he then decided to tell me a lad he knew did it as a joke n he lied in the first place because he knew i wudnt believe him n become suspicious. i was pretty gutted about this it hit me hard cos he was everything i had ever wanted. i forgave him n we carried on. another few months n im on his laptop i did this time look purposely and found pictures of naked women but they werent professional photos these wer sent frm women he had been talkin to on msn messenger. i lost it that time. he again came up with the excuses tht they wer old photos n tht becos i had gone looking for trouble i found it. now i love him and again i forgave him i did over the next 2 months want more time on my own n i wanted to be with my friends n family more then him as i had not spent that much time with any of them since my relationship had started. because of me doing this i was accused of not trying in our relationship n a week later his ex got intouch she sed they wer still together and that i was just a girl he was seeing like many others. she even sent emails to bk up tht he emailed her all the time n these wer very intimate emails. all this information hit me hard n i dnt think iv cried so much or nearly come to a breakdown b4. add to this situation that my period was late and 3 days after this crap i found out i was expecting. his ex has since got intouch, n it really hurts me he told me she was lying bt it seems like iv been a bit of a pushover. just so u know he wasnt happy about me being pregnant because it wasnt the right time for him. i am 6 months pregnant n i will be 19 next week. things have started to get bk to normal bt i am very confused and need some advise frm an unbiased point of view. am i being unfair? or unreasonable please reply i need all the help i can get Link to post Share on other sites
missdependant Posted March 2, 2009 Share Posted March 2, 2009 Are you in a long distance relationship with this guy or do you live together or near each other? This woman says that she is with him, yet you seem to be the one who shares a bed with him most times.. Also, has he done anything to try and earn your trust back? I know we are in similar situations.. yours' seems a little bit more difficult, as my boyfriend seemed to only go through a couple of weeks of questions where he was out cheating. It really hurts me and I still cannot stand the thought of it.. especially with this chick constantly trying to involve herself in my life. (She went out of her way to make a new AIM name and give me the phoniest congratulations today). My boyfriend still seems to be trying to earn my trust back. A lot of his friends told him how stupid he was, and apparently his friends felt for him as they came to me telling me how sorry he was. I guess that helped a little.. but some of his friends are questionable as far as reputation goes. I know things are hard, but hang in there.. perhaps we are just unlucky and will never be in stable relationships.. or perhaps we will end up single mothers. I am very concerned about becoming a single mom.. it will be hard enough with the two of us (we're both still students).. but sometimes if things will be easier that way.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jess90 Posted March 2, 2009 Author Share Posted March 2, 2009 yeh we live close and he does spend most of his free time with me, in the past he was going home more n seeing friends more too bt not so much recently. iv never met any of his friends because hes not frm here iv met most of his family. i think being a single mum would be difficult bt we wud both cope pretty well in the end just the heartache with the breakups if it did go that way. i am so jealous and i have never been the jealous type not in really any way just his ex really has tried to mess us up weather she is lying or not he hasnt really given me alot of support there or peace of mind just says i have to trust him which i do bt im confused. i do make excuses for him because its easier that way and doesnt hurt so much i know he loves me bt it doesnt all fit u know. his phone is always away and off when he is around me. he wud even in the past hang up on the person he was talkin to if i was around. he has given me lots of reasons to be suspicious i know. my family like him bt are concerned for me because they dnt want me to be hurt n a single parent alone n i have had to choose him over my family and friends it feels n tbh its been feelin like a really lonely place. but i cant help loving him. iv even suffered frm very high blood pressure n i think when tht happened he only started coming round to me having our child. i know to some people it must seem like theres only one obvious thing to do bt its not tht easy just givin up and walking away n i want to do the best by my baby wen she or he is here. i also have never seen his ex she is frm america n i am frm england n she is bk over there but she is alot older then me n i wish she wud also act the 40yr old she is and leave me alone. i hope it all works out for u which u know it will if u can move on n get the ex out of the way. Link to post Share on other sites
samiam143 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 I think being a single mother would be a helluva lot easier than him breaking your heart over and over again. My mom did it. And she did a great job at it. It isn't impossible especially if you have supportive friends and family. Link to post Share on other sites
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