Bluebird In My Heart Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 ...My husband cheated on me with a woman who looks like a character from Lord of the Rings so it's obviously not about the looks... So true! Link to post Share on other sites
Bluebird In My Heart Posted March 5, 2009 Share Posted March 5, 2009 Im siting with her right now... as shes texting him she holding my hand, hanging with me and my friends. Its killing me, but at least shes with me right now... at all... Are you serious?! Oh, honey. No. Please don't let this daft cow run over you like this! I promise whatever pain you will go through, it will be TEMPORARY. It really, really will be. Question: what will and won't you tolerate? Get your balls back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author papa bear Posted March 6, 2009 Author Share Posted March 6, 2009 Thank you all for youe help everyone. Im trying to talk to her less and less, only saw her for a bit today (hard to avoid, both go to the University of Windsor, share most of same friends). Im going to try as hard as i can... Anyone have any idea how long i have to do N.C... like do i do it for a few days and than talk than a few more days? Or like a week, come back and see if shes made a decision? what can i answer... or when.. or how? Link to post Share on other sites
carona716 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 its called no contact for a reason. in no way should you talk to, call, text, address, look at, ride the same bus, eat in the same cafeteria, at all! as far as time goes, ideally, NEVER talk to her again. Tell your mutual friends whats going on, and if they want to see you, she cant be with them. and remember what your doing, and that is healing. No contact is like stitches to an open wound, and every time you talk to her, you open that wound right back up, and have to start all over again. Link to post Share on other sites
samspade Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Anyone have any idea how long i have to do N.C... like do i do it for a few days and than talk than a few more days? Or like a week, come back and see if shes made a decision? what can i answer... or when.. or how? Buddy...you don't seem to get it. I want to help you, so please understand this: You go NC for as long as it takes you to heal. Which, from the tone of your posts, will be months, if not longer. And I also want you to read this statement out loud to yourself: "My life is my own. No one makes decisions for me but me." Your ex is not the boss of you. And you should not be waiting around for her like a weak, supplicating, pathetic wuss while she decides if she wants old dick or new. 'Cause if she "chooses" you, it will only be because her side dick isn't working out like she'd hoped, and now she needs you to fall back on. The only way that happens is if you allow it to happen. She may tell you she still loves you, made a mistake, etc., etc. But the facts are these: Her interest in and respect for you were low enough for her to not only consider cheating, but act on that impulse. Your relationship was dead the moment that happened. There is nothing more to talk about. This is a big moment for you. Think: George McFly, getting his arm twisted by Biff. (I am not suggesting you resort to violence, it's just an analogy.) What are going to do - keep taking it, or stand up and walk away? What you do in these moments will affect your well-being for the coming months. Let her off the hook, and you will take even longer to recover. Walk away now, give no quarter, and you can at least be at peace with the notion that when she threw it away, you were the stronger, better half, with no blood on your hands. Stand up for yourself, man. You weren't born with her, you won't die without her. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 You just dont need NC you need to disappear, this woman has been a sucking on your lifeblood for far too long. And you miss out on quality woman dealing with this scumbag. You need to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
flash582 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 You just dont need NC you need to disappear, this woman has been a sucking on your lifeblood for far too long. Amen to that. Papa Bear, I've been there, right where you are, 8 years ago. Believe me, when you find a quality woman you'll ask yourself the same question I ask myself daily ... "What the hell was I thinking!" She's on a power trip and your the fuel. Move on. The real challenge is this .... once you move on and go NC she'll be back ..... and it's hard to tell em to go pound sand when they're in front of you pleading to get back together. Here's a different way to look at it: If a Doctor told you that you had cancer and you can have it removed and live a long healthy life or you can keep it and have it slowly kill you, what would you do? Because, my friend, that's what she is, a cancer that is slowly killing you. And it only gets worse from here. I recommend emergency surgery ... have that growth removed from your behind, no matter how attached it's become, and LIVE. Link to post Share on other sites
BackonTrack2 Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 I was cheated on, I still remember, its been a year. 22 days to be exact with NC to be exact. At first I got rid of her but somehow we ended up talking and the tables somehow turned and I ended up being the one extremely hurt. Ofcourse she blamed me for everything, that damn whore. Messed me up good, but one year later I have recovered and in a new relationship but I still remember. Hell I even teared yesterday thinking to myself "How could she do this" WHat I have to realize now is that she didn't care, she didn't love me, she didn't want to be with me. She never told me but gave me hints and I never understood them and I foolishly was wondering to myself "whats wrong with her" I'm partly playing victium because I knew she was leaving but she never did, and I kept loving her, even more than myself and when things came to light, I was so destroyed. One year later, the best thing I can tell anyone whois ever been cheated on and wants their girl back is, its not worth it, they will do it again, its in her dna, her nature, they are not good people. I am so glad, the ex made up her mind and stuck to her word, because I was addicted and obssessed. I loved her to much. More than myself and she well, didn't give a fawk. The best thing she did for me was leave because I couldn't leave her.... Now I'm healed and reflecting and realizing to myself, I don't think she wanted to hurt me, she just didn't know how to tell me she stabbed me in the back, so she did what she does best, lie, pretend and carry on. Hurt me allot. More than words can say, so in your case, yes you want her back because you still love her, but she doesn't love you and she never will. She's not happy within herself and blames you. GO NC Heal, recover then figure out what you want to do otherwise you will only pro-long this breakup and the suffering. PS, its going to take MONTHS Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Why the hell should she respect you if you don't respect yourself? You literally are letting her walk all over you Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted March 10, 2009 Share Posted March 10, 2009 Time to disappear off the radar. Link to post Share on other sites
Author papa bear Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 Its been two weeks, since i started NC. I have been so bored.. she was pretty much my life.. But I have been strong, and I havent seen or returned her calls/txt. I dont know how much longer i can get txts saying "i miss you" or "please... just tak to me" and ignore them... Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 That's what you need friends for!!! go out to the club, go get laid, go to the pool hall, go to the movies, play some basketball, do something for you and make you grow as a person. She wasnt your whole life, you was doing things before her, you do things after her. So you gotta relearn to do the things you love. you gotta re-embrace being single again, it's hard at first but you'll be in the swing of things in the long run. there are too much good coochie top pass up dwelling on a trifling chick!!! Link to post Share on other sites
samspade Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Stay strong, buddy. You're better off single than with a cheating wench. Ignore those texts...imagine that she is trying to give you a disease every time she contacts you. (In a way, she is.) Enlist your buddies to show you a good time. Spoil yourself! Take a weekend trip somewhere. Get a lapdance. Etc., etc. Link to post Share on other sites
AMM003 Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 These folks have given sound advice. it is the best for you and "your person". Re-invent yourself again. Keep busy. You're on a college campus! you should be on a different date every other night! Meet new friends! I would switch places with you in a second and do your NC time for you, if I could! Its been 6 weeks and I feel better every day after my ltr didnt work for the same reason. You will too. don't break though man. Link to post Share on other sites
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