Women & Low Libidos....

[AnthonyF]

So I guess letting her read some of these posts to try to convince her otherwise would be out of the question?

 

Are you really ok with having sex once a week? I still say you need to talk with her about this if its not something you're really ok with. Do you feel if you truly tried to talk to her, she will shoot you down?

 

We talk about it and showing her this would definitely not work. I like to vent, joke around, share experiences and give my 2 cents and learn, which is what this site will do.

 

We certainly are happy (moreso then most I know) and it will improve as we have peeks and valleys (warm weather vacation next week).

 

Thanks for asking....

[JackJack]

Its good that you can joke about how you feel. Sometimes it makes things seems a little easier to deal with.

 

All things need humor from time to time.

[taylor]

Wow, between you, Trubella and Taylor some are getting a lot more then I thought.... BTW my wife would claim that it was all lies.....

 

Tell your wife no one on an anonymous forum has any reason to lie about anything.

 

In fact, I have seen more raw honesty on this forum board than I have with any real relationship (friendships) in my life.

 

Anonymity makes it easier to be honest.

 

Granted, if you feel you are going to get "attacked" on the board, you might withhold some of your transgressions or paint yourself in a better light...as on the infidelity board...

 

But there is no reason to lie about sex frequency. I tried to be as honest as I could and in doing so, realized that sex frequency with my husband varied due to life stressors, relationship problems and some depression.

 

It was good to take a look at that. Never really thought about it before.

[taylor]

 

relationship problems - Understandable to some degree, but men look to sex to improve those problems and work on them.

 

This is where men go wrong. The last thing a woman wants to do when she is upset about a relationship problem is HAVE SEX.

 

Men THINK sex is the end-all to all problems, ie, "If I'm still having sex, all is good..not having sex, all is bad...start having sex...all is good again.

 

Sorry, guys, it doesn't work this way.

 

Just because resuming sex makes you happy again, it doesn't necessarily mean she's happy again.

 

If you have a leaky faucet, you don't fix it with a hammer.

 

If you have a loose shingle on your roof, you don't fix it with a wrench.

 

If you have a screw loose, you don't fix it with a saw.

 

And if you have a hanging tree branch, you don't fix it with a screwdriver.

 

It works the same with relationships. You can't fix everything with SEX.

 

You might have to engage your other "tools" to address the problems.

[AnthonyF]

This is where men go wrong. The last thing a woman wants to do when she is upset about a relationship problem is HAVE SEX.

 

Men THINK sex is the end-all to all problems, ie, "If I'm still having sex, all is good..not having sex, all is bad...start having sex...all is good again.

 

Sorry, guys, it doesn't work this way.

 

Just because resuming sex makes you happy again, it doesn't necessarily mean she's happy again.

 

If you have a leaky faucet, you don't fix it with a hammer.

 

If you have a loose shingle on your roof, you don't fix it with a wrench.

 

If you have a screw loose, you don't fix it with a saw.

 

And if you have a hanging tree branch, you don't fix it with a screwdriver.

 

It works the same with relationships. You can't fix everything with SEX.

 

You might have to engage your other "tools" to address the problems.

 

 

You're right, just stating that as males as we work to improving a problem, sex is important to show we are working to that goal. As a female if you just say, the shop is closed until I say the problem is solved does not help the situation.

 

As for the anonimity of the site and frequency question above, my wife (tongue firmly in cheek) would say that that is the exception and that most married women she knows have sex infrequently and that I am in fact doing quite well.......

[GorillaTheater]

As for the anonimity of the site and frequency question above, my wife (tongue firmly in cheek) would say that that is the exception and that most married women she knows have sex infrequently and that I am in fact doing quite well.......

 

As would mine. Except that I'm not entirely sure her tongue would be in her cheek. Credit due to my wife, though, for understanding that one important facet of sex in the man's eyes is reassurance that despite the problem de jure, "we're still okay".

[EnigmasMuse]

Anthony, you must know your wife quite well, because you certainly seem to know or think you know what she would or wouldn't say.

 

That is assuming you all have been down this road to probably know how she feels on certain issues.

 

Since you can say how it is SHE might feel, how do YOU feel?

 

You hit me as one of these that just goes along with the flow of things as to not upset the apple cart. Not that there is always anything wrong with that, but you can't honestly say that your wife can say you should feel lucky and not complain with sex once a week if its not how you really feel....

 

Has she maybe convinced you that you are lucky and that there are others out here far worse off? Which even if they are, doesn't mean your feelings on certain things should be pushed aside or that they are not legit feelings.

[rlindzie]

ok i guess i am not the norm woman because i have the same if not higher sex drives. is this normal? i never understand when i hear of women having low sex drive for me it has always been the other way around, the guy cant keep up with me. idk if i am the norm and women just hink they have to have a low sex drive or if that is the norm and i am abnormal. so im with the guys i get pissed if my guy wont do the do, its annoying!

[PinkKittyKat]

Same here. Another high sex drive lady. It's been a problem in past relationships where I would be quite turned on quite often and the guy just couldn't keep up.

 

My current guy is definitely the best at keeping up with me by FAR, but even then sometimes I'm all over him but I still have to go without.

 

My best friend is even higher drive than me. She's burned out more vibrators than I've owned.

One time I called her around 10am to make plans for that week, and she got fake-grumpy at me cause I interrupted her masturbating. We laughed about it, made plans and hung up. I had to call her back around 4pm and she answered the phone with, "ARRRRGGH!!! and then started laughing. Guess what she was doing AGAIN!? Ahhh, my friends, love em.

 

Then again, I know some girls who would agree with this book wholeheartedly.

 

In a marriage or partnership, you should have sex sometimes when you don't necessarily FEEL like it. It's only fair to the hornier mate, and you may find yourself enjoying it once you start.

[taylor]

Rlindzie and PinkKittyKat,

 

Hopefully your posts here will convince men who read this thread that not ALL women have low libidos, not ALL women hate sex, not ALL women are uninterested in sex.

 

There are many, many women who want sex, crave it, and enjoy it. And there are women as well who feel frustrated, irritated or rejected when they don't get it.

 

Men, if your wives have you convinced otherwise, they have done a good job of brainwashing you.

 

And I agree with you PinkKittyKat, that both men and women should still muster up the motivation to have sex with their partners on occassion when they "just don't feel like it."

 

But if this scenario becomes chronic, then it's an issue, and the couple needs to look further into their marriage to figure out why it's become an issue.