A few questions, and a little about my uncertain relationship/Going on 10 years now

[Chad76]

Hello all. I have a few questions Cool site BTW. There is a long read here but, I think it shouldn't be too boring especially if you like to read crazy stuff. My first post, enjoy

 

1) When a woman squirts is that an orgasm? ( I can only notice that happening when I'm using like 3 fingers and I can see with eyes, its just nice making her do that)

 

2) How do I know when she is having an orgasm during intercourse? (she hardly ever makes noises during sex or even when she is squirting from my fingers, but I have noticed her in the past get verbal saying things like: Harder!, Don't stop! but that was only when she was playing with herself during intercourse.)

 

3) Is it a bad sign when I ask her to have sex and she says how long is it going to take, also with a sigh? (I always hear that women want sex to last a long time, well I can certainly last awhile, and I'm a sex addict, I can do it allot, but it sucks because she never wants to, Its been years since she was the pursuer, well.. like 6 years now)

 

4) Is it OK for me to assume that since she never wants it she is getting it somewhere else, considering we used to do it all the time and she used to love it?

 

5) Is it OK to assume the same about emotional needs and romance. (She never seems interested in either, and I'm the only one to ever bring it up that I feel we are not romantic enough, or have talks about anything other than me going shopping for food, or whats for dinner)

 

6) I have always wondered this. Should I expect her to be tight when we haven't had sex for 2-3 weeks? ( We had sex one night after not having it for a few weeks, and when we started intercourse, it went in too easily, abnormally easy, with no foreplay at all, and she even stated that she didn't really want to meaning that she couldn't have even been aroused, and it also felt like there was allot of room in there. I never said anything to her about it. I remember times when It would be hard to get it in under those same circumstances. Also there are no sex toys in the house and I'm almost certain she doesn't use anything as a toy)

 

I don't like to feel jealous or suspicious, and I have confronted her in the past about those feelings, but she usually ends up getting mad saying I'm not a whore and even "your just mad because you cant find anything on me, I'm Perfect!" Making me feel like a complete A**hole

 

The closest I have come to finding out that something was wrong was when we split up for a month, well more like she kicked me out because I told her to find her own way home from the bar when she called and asked for a ride. I assumed she was there with men and she could let their ass take her home, I was pissed.

 

She used to go to the bar with her friends at work all the time, and every time I would ask her to go out with me she had the nerve to say I don't want to, saying things like she doesn't drink more than a beer anyhow. Heck I just wanted to get out with her. side note, she hasn't gone to a bar with friends in years now.

 

The thing I found was when I was staying at my brothers place during that split up, I checked the voice mail from his house, there was a message it said. Hey "insert name" this is Joe, this is going to sound weird but I forgot, I have to do something tomorrow, sorry. I say ahhh, this is why she kicked me out just 3 DAYS AGO, she never got any calls from men for the whole 4 years we were together. So I felt something wasn't right. BTW, we were according to her "not broke up, just separating for a while", meaning we were not supposed to date

 

When I confronted her about it, she first denied even knowing a Joe, then I said listen to the message and boy was she caught, she then went on to say they were just friends at work. But to this day she says she doesn't even know what that message meant, because I thought it meant he was breaking their plans for the next day. Maybe I'm just dumb as hell. Any who we got back together shortly after.

 

Thats not all that has made me the jealous type though, for one I have had my heart ripped out by a true b*tch before her, and also there are other things she used to do. What you ask? Well for one she used to ask me to stay home and to watch our little girl while she went to her friends house to babysit while her friend went out to drink?? Never getting anything out of it, no money nothing. And most of the time she ended up staying there all night. Even weirder it was a friend she just met after years of not seen her. Am I a complete moron you ask? Well I would raise hell over it. But she did it anyways, one night while she was gone I got so mad and started crying. I ended up getting red dots on my face and around my eyes ( busted blood vessels) and that didn't even make her stop.

 

Well all that stuff I just said was during a 2 year period that she would never have sex with me, she always had an excuse, I'm having pains, or some crap.

 

We seemed to iron out all of those issues but I cant help but think that she got one over on me. remember what I said? "She is not a whore, She is perfect" Not that I call her a whore, I just cant help but think that she had to of done something, and if I let it, all that anger can come back and I start an argument. I Tell her in my eyes you have cheated even though I have no proof, but I forgive you for it.

 

One of the things that drive me crazy is she had another friend but this friend seemed more mature and had a family, not the bar hoping sl8t she used to hang out with. But anyways she would sometimes stay the night there, and that didn't bother me as much. But one time she stayed for 4 days-3 nights without calling. I had enough. I got on the chat rooms "webTV" hehe long time ago, and met a woman that lived near me. We made plans, and decided to meet at her place. I was so nervous I had to stop at the bar before hand... hehe getting my buzz on at 1pm.

 

Anyways I got to her place, and she welcomed me with a smile. She was wearing a revealing dress, she was pretty with long blonde hair and was in great shape She looKed in her mid 20's, about the same as me. 5 minuts later after she kept calling me shy I just grabbed her and started kissing her deeply, and we had sex on the couch, on the floor, against the wall, in the bathrooom, well it was Great. She wanted it in her rear, and oh my god she seemed to like it there more then anything. She was even greater the second time after chilling and talking for about an hour. She convinced me that I was a great lover, and that made me feel good because of the sex drought I was going through. 2 years without it ain't a joKe for a sex hungry man in his low 20's. We never met again, I didn't really want to get into a second relationship, or fall in love with her. And I haven't been with another woman since.

 

I got home that night not even knowing if my girl was home, heh she didn't call me since she left. Oddly she got home about an hour after I did, And I wasn't mad at her knowing I got my revenge. And I couldn't believe what tooK place, I started talking to her and we had a sincere conversation about life, I never asked her about her 4 day adventure, and I think that drove her crazy because she ended up ending the 2yr sex drought that night, that was a verry weird feeling to be with her that night after what I had done.

 

I never told her what I did to this day. But it drives me crazy that she says she never cheated on me, because she drove me to. And if she is really innocent, then what am I?

 

 

Boy I'm rambling on now. I guess I just wanted to share that. I hope that wasn't too much to read, I really would like those questions answered though, even though they may seem little compared to the story I told.

 

And if anyone wants to comment on what I said after the questions feel free.

[HokeyReligions]

1) Most Probably

2) You can't. We can fake it pretty well when we want to. If you want to know then you have to ask her.

3) I don't know about a "bad sign" - maybe she's had a long tiring day and is just too tired. If this happens frequently you might want to discuss it with her and maybe see a counselor.

4) No. Never assume anything. Talk WITH her. Communicate

5) No. Never assume anything. Talk WITH her. Communicate

6) No. Don't Expect anything either. There are millions of things that have an impact on our bodies every day. It could be anything.

 

 

My comments: It sounds like you are full of anger. You have cheated on her. You are not happy in the relationship. Your needs, and probably hers too, are not being met. That doesn't have to be a "fault" of either of you. If you can't communicate with each other and don't trust each other, then say good-bye and move on. If you have a child together then you will have to keep in contact with each other, but find closure for your relationship and keep it on a friendly basis for your childs sake. Your kid will be happier if both parents are happier. I urge you to get some counseling for yourself to help you sort out and deal with everything. Suggest it to her too, but if she doesn't want to go you can't force her. The counseling will do you just as much good, if not more, alone than with her.