ruggy Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Okay, assuming it does not backfire, I will be asking this woman out tomorrow after work via telephone. She is a few years older than me, so I do not know if the expectations are different or not. She did ask me for my number before we talked on Saturday afternoon, then gave me her number. On the convo she suggested we meet up sometime and told me the weekends are best for her. Said I will call her midweek and we said our goodbyes. She hinted on wanting to see He's Just Not That Into You. Never thought that would be a good first date movie. Was going to shoot for something else. But, if she hinted for that one, should I shoot for that one? Also, in terms of meeting up. Should I say we'll meet there (its at a shopping mall) or offer to pick her up? Only reason why I bring that up is she wanted to call me before I call her. First time this happened like that. Usually reverse. So peoples, what should I do?
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 I would offer to pick her up. She may be offering to meet you there to try and be polite. But really, if I meet a guy somewhere, it doesn't feel like a date - it feels like he's my buddy. I don't think HJNTITY is a great 1st date movie. WTH is she thinking? LOL Look at some of the others. Slumdog Millionaire is supposed to be spectacular and it's a love story.
Author ruggy Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 She already ready saw Slumdog Millionaire. Hmm, this could be tricky. She did meet me on Match, so you do not think asking her if she wants me to pick her up is out of line? Afterall, she asked for my number and called before she gave me hers. Seems she is playing things safe from the beginning.
Squirtal Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Hey Ruggy. Yeah I agree with Soul..offer to pick her up as it will be a nice gesture..BUT..don't worry if she says no she'll meet you there..it will only be because thats what everyone is told to do on first dates where you haven't met the person before. Its just a cautious thing...for both of you. Also I would go with what she wants to watch..check out whats on..and then tell her what is showing and ask her what she fancies out of those. It shows you've done you're homework and you're thinking of her. Good luck hun.
Author ruggy Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 Will do. Hopefully she has not changed her mind yet. In terms of this Chemistry thing, anything I should do and look for? I usually do not go in for a kiss until the second date.
Squirtal Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Hmmm...thats such a hard question..what to look for..?...its more of something you feel then you look for...I guess lots of eye contact, body leaning into you..you leaning towards them..mirroring how you're both sitting. If you are confident and secure on the date then that should get postitive reactions back too. As to kissing on a second date..thats nice..but a peck goodbye if it goes really well is okay. You never know she might kiss you.
Author ruggy Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 If she is laughing and smiling I assume she's having a good time. Then again, that happened last time and look where that led.
Squirtal Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Stop focusing on that date. This someone new, who seems to be keen as she has been initiating contact. And stop worrying about whether they will like you...you never know..you may not like her or have chemistry with her...its a two way street. I'll tell you one thing also..now this is personal preference...but when I started dating my man..he arranged a second date at the end of the first one..and I really liked that..and that continued until we chose to become exclusive..and that I intitiated on his birthday...and then we would just know we were meeting the next weekend.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 No hurt in just offering the pick-up. If she wants to be safer than letting you know where she lives, then she'll decline. No biggie. At least you were trying to be thoughtful and that should score points. I agree with giving a list of movies to see. Maybe you can get her to forget HJNTITY for now.
Author ruggy Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 I am going to pick a few out and see what she thinks. If she suggests again HJNTITY, I'll just say that I do not think it is a great first date movie. I did plan the next date at the end of the current date with other women; mainly the last two. Both did not end too well. Think it is still a good plan? I was thinking more of the lines like we should do something again soon and gauge her response off of that. No?
2sure Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Do Not take her to see a chick flick. She may say to herself: I want a man who can relate to and enjoy chick flicks. But she doesnt. We want to know that he could, but prefer that he not care to. Get it?
Sam Spade Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Since this is your first date (it seems), don't pick her up. Once you go on a couple of dates it is prudent to start picking her up. Before that it would be kind of presumptious, plus many women are paranoid about their safety, even if there is no good reason to be
gopher Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 I am going to pick a few out and see what she thinks. If she suggests again HJNTITY, I'll just say that I do not think it is a great first date movie. I did plan the next date at the end of the current date with other women; mainly the last two. Both did not end too well. Think it is still a good plan? I was thinking more of the lines like we should do something again soon and gauge her response off of that. No? I don't know...telling her that her choice of movies is a bad idea for a first date may not be the best strategy...Truely, is she going to not want to see you because of the movie or fall magically in love with you because of a movie?...I really doubt it. I think it's a nice gesture on your part and if things go well and you become a couple, you'll have something to tease her about. As in, "What a horrible first date movie"
Author ruggy Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 I don't know...telling her that her choice of movies is a bad idea for a first date may not be the best strategy...Truely, is she going to not want to see you because of the movie or fall magically in love with you because of a movie?...I really doubt it. I think it's a nice gesture on your part and if things go well and you become a couple, you'll have something to tease her about. As in, "What a horrible first date movie" Not sure what you meant to say by this.
Green Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Depending where she lives I would at least offer her a ride. If she lives really far from where your willing to go that would be the only reason I wouldn't offer... Like when I lived in queens and the girl I was dating live in Brooklyn we'd just meet in Manhatan for the date
gopher Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Not sure what you meant to say by this. Sorry, in short...I'd take her to the movie that she wants to go to.
Author ruggy Posted March 5, 2009 Author Posted March 5, 2009 Lives close. Maybe 10 mins by car. I will suggest others, but not many out that are good. May not matter though. Left her a voicemail never heard back. Maybe a sign that she changed her mind. Gee, there's a surprise.
Author ruggy Posted March 5, 2009 Author Posted March 5, 2009 Surprisingly she never called back. Should I call here again in a day or two and follow up or not?
Squirtal Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Morning Ruggy She may be up to her ears..I would call again today, just say hey..wonder if you wanted to get together Sat or sun to see a movie..give me a call back and let me know either way. Hope everythings good. Do it light hearted and friendly.
Author ruggy Posted March 6, 2009 Author Posted March 6, 2009 Actually, surprisingly enough, she called last night. We spoke for like 7 seven hours on the phone. That should be a good sign. We are meeting tomorrow to see Taken and then some din. I did offer to pick her up, but she rather meet me there. Hmm...
Squirtal Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 :bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny: WHOOP!!!!!!!!! Thats brillaint!!!! Don't worry about her wanting to meet you there..its a safety thing...be pleased that shes not the type to just let anyone come to her house before shes even meet them. It looks really promising so far..and I am jumping like a mad woman. Whoop!!!!!!
blondesmiler Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 Yes it def is a safety thing, and as a women I speak from my own internet dating experiences, we have to be careful and we are advised (rightly so) to meet first time at least, somewhere in public and not let them pick us up. Think about it, getting into a car with a total stranger from the internet and then..................................., sounds like something right off the evening news doesn't it. Its nothing against you personally, just how society is these days, dangerous at times. Have a great time.
Author ruggy Posted March 6, 2009 Author Posted March 6, 2009 Yea, I was expecting something like that. I played it off as no biggie. I completely understand on where she and blondesmiler is coming from. Here's hopping I don't disappoint. She already said she enjoys talking to me. She knows what I look like. So, we shall see. I will say, its been a while since I have spent so long on the phone with someone. It was interesting. Enjoyed it laughing back and forth no dead air. We both made it a point to leave stuff to talk about at dinner.
Squirtal Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 What time are you meeting up with her? I'm going to have to work out time differences so I can keep my fingers crossed for you. must say though a chat that long and you still have things to chat about..wow..good good signs. Have loads of fun. xx
Author ruggy Posted March 6, 2009 Author Posted March 6, 2009 Meeting 8:00 PM ET Saturday. Appreciate the support, Squirtal. Yea, we were calling back and forth until 3:00 AM. Funny when I think about it. Hopefully that physical "chemistry" she'll feel in person as well as enjoying talking to me on the telephone.
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