I need help with emotional affair

[gundy]

I am in need of help. I may be at the wrong site. My husband had an emotional affair with a co-worker. Please send me to the right friends to share this story with. I really need to talk with someone who has been through this situation.

[GIZMO]

What do you mean by emotional affair?

I am here to listen.

[maga]

I am someone who has had an emotional affair with a co-worker. It happened while I was engaged to a wonderful, sweet man. I still ache from it even though it ended several months ago and we have not seen each other and won't again. I actually had to get some counseling... I suffered as much as if it had been a lover relationship. I can share with you what I learned in counseling:

 

I was told that the reason it happened is because there is something I got from the emotional affair that was lacking in my relationship with my fiancee. Interestingly the guy I had the er with was very different yet in some ways similar to my fiancee. He filled in my blanks. I was told that if I was getting what I needed at home than it may not have happened.

 

Maybe it's time to have a talk with your husband about his needs. There is a good book called Men are from Mars Woman are from Venus which explains how we misinterpret each other all the time. It might help you to better understand him and know how he is thinking what he needs. It will help you to express yourself more effectively too. And he can learn alot about how and why woman say what we do if he reads it.

 

I personally don't think we can control our feelings. They sometimes just happen even when we would rather they not.

 

Don't be too hard on him. Men find it difficult to talk to other men about personal bonding stuff. Whereas we gals have our girlfriends, men don't get the support from their buddies, and may seek out a woman who will listen and not tease them.