I feel like a pussy.

[LakesideDream]

That's why it's called dating son. You date to see if a person is right for you. If it appears they are you can take the relationship to a higher level.

 

From what you have written, your "ex slut" is not right for you.

 

Enjoy being 18. Your possibilities in life are endless.

[mr.dream merchant]

You're 18 man. You don't have to settle with the town-whore if you don't want to. Ditch this old and withered chick and grab you a respectable one. Holla. People will tell you until their face turns blue that its in her past but that isn't the issue here. The issue here is that she disgusts you, and many other men, that's probably why she doesn't disclose that information. Who wants to be with a girl like that? I certainly wouldn't want to commit to that, maybe get wasted and get at it for one night but thats it. Do your sanity and yourself, and possibly your health, a huge favor, and ditch her. She's disgusting.

[Untouchable_Fire]

What the **** is wrong with me? What can I do? Am I just a shallow prick head?

 

No, your normal... your just dating a skank!

 

Give it some time, you will find a really great girl some day. Don't hang yourself up on this one, she has MAJOR mental issues.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Then you should leave her, because you are clearly not ready for a mature relationship. EVERYONE you ever date will have past scenarios that you don't agree with. You shouldn't tear yourself up over it.

 

You have that backwards. He should dump her because she isn't serious relationship material.

 

If I was in his place... she would maybe be a FWB and nothing more. Cause she isn't worth more.

[missdependant]

You have that backwards. He should dump her because she isn't serious relationship material.

 

If I was in his place... she would maybe be a FWB and nothing more. Cause she isn't worth more.

 

...Some people should really try and get a grip of reality. She WASN'T relationship material when she was going through whatever phase it was. That was her in the past... this is what he said she is like now:

 

She stopped hanging out with the people she slept with, she stopped smoking pot, she stopped smoking cigs, she stopped drinking. We both fell in love with eachother and we both care for eachother.

Obviously, she is a reformed or reforming drug addict and is doing her best for him.

 

If that's not enough, then YEAH.. he should leave her.

 

Inziladun, I would suggest looking at your own past and mistakes and realizing that no one is perfect or has lead a perfect life. I would suggest learning something about her childhood, and now that you are in college, take advantage of some psychology and/or sociology classes.

 

I feel that in taking psychology and sociology classes, I have become more accepting toward people and less judgemental. You will learn a lot about people.. and you will learn that people don't become a certain way for no reason. It usually has something to do with their childhood and the ways they were taught as their minds were developing.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Obviously, she is a reformed or reforming drug addict and is doing her best for him.

If that's not enough, then YEAH.. he should leave her.

Inziladun, I would suggest looking at your own past and mistakes and realizing that no one is perfect or has lead a perfect life. I would suggest learning something about her childhood, and now that you are in college, take advantage of some psychology and/or sociology classes.

I feel that in taking psychology and sociology classes, I have become more accepting toward people and less judgemental. You will learn a lot about people.. and you will learn that people don't become a certain way for no reason. It usually has something to do with their childhood and the ways they were taught as their minds were developing.

 

He had to ask her to give up pot. That means she had no desire to do so on her own. She isn't through with drugs.

 

The idea that your past has no bearing on your future is crazy. Think about that for a second and you will realize that it just doesn't make an ounce of sense.

 

We are a sum of our experiences. Her past clearly creates path to her future. Just saying... nobody is perfect is also foolish. The degree of imperfection matters! In a huge way!

 

It is a very important message that we need to get out to young men today. The old addage "you can't make a Ho into a Housewife", that is still true. However there are so many guys out there that are so stupid that they believe these girls just one day decide to change. Bull****.

 

I've taken plenty of Psychology classes, and they only show you a portion of the picture. If you really want to know how life works. Take a class in Animal Behavior! That will open your eyes.

 

Inziladun, Dont make the mistake of taking this girl too serious. Dump her when you find someone better.

[clv0116]

This girl is messed up. I've dated ex-hookers and they were more together than this chick seems to be. Don't get attached, don't become a rescue worker.

[jnj express]

Everybody you deal with for the rest of your life HAS A PAST. What they did and who they were prior to you may have a bearing on your relationship if your partner and you have problems, but if that person acts properly and changes their lifestyle to be in a relationship with you, then you need to just be satisfied with your situation. She has modified her lifestyle to fit you, SHE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG WHILE SHE HAS BEEN WITH YOU. You are the one who has the problem. Either you want to be with her or you don't, but you CANNOT OBCESS about her past.

[Spectre]

Oh wow, I missed one.. and yeah. Again.

 

PAST PAST PAST.

 

Really, give it a rest. Yeah, it's the past. So? A past is what makes a person who they are, and a lot of her past points to this girl being a ho. Granted, of course it's possible she has changed, but stop acting like he has no reason to feel the way he does. People who act like the past doesn't matter are fooling themselves. Just because shady behavior was in the past doesn't mean you're absolved from the consequences. This girl slept around, had one night stands, threesomes, even hooked up with guys she hangs out with, this guy has every right to be worried and to be hesitant about her, especially if she has done all this by the age of 17.

 

My advice to the OP is to just dump this girl. I know it's difficult, I've been where you're at. However, think about the future, do you honestly see yourself getting serious with a girl like this? Look at her track record, and she's only 17. She isn't anywhere near ready for a serious relationship.

 

She's also disrespectful. It's one thing to do drugs, but to do them with an ex bf while dating someone is pretty messed up. Yeah, the girls sister said nothing happened. You think the sister would actually rat her out and say she cheated? I don't. Plus when people are high, it's just like when you're drunk, your inhibitions are lowered, and things can happen. I find it kinda funny everyone yelling about "it's her past she did nothing wrong!" don't seem to think there is anything wrong with going to get high with an ex bf while you're dating someone. I guarantee you this chick wouldn't like it if he went out and got wasted with an ex.

 

Anyways, just try to distance yourself from her and end the relationship. You can't really ever trust her, can you? She doesn't seem to even be trying to show you she has changed, as seen by her going to get high with ex bf's and stuff. Whenever she goes out without you, you'll have to wonder what she is doing. Whenever she goes to get high, you'll have to wonder, is she getting high with an ex? Or, if she says she has quit drugs, you'll have to wonder, was she lying about quitting?

 

In the end, no girl is worth this. Trust me, I just went through a similar problem. This girl I was with had done a lot of shady things, both in the past and the present. I convinced myself she could change, when suspicious stuff happened I made excuses because I loved her and she claimed to love me. I ended up getting my heart broken. Try not to make the same mistakes I did.

 

I wanna note I'm not saying every case like this is the same, and I'm not saying that people with questionable pasts can't change. With people like this, you're taking a risk being with them, a risk that they haven't changed their ways. All I'm saying is, from the way this girl has been acting(again, going to do drugs with her ex) it seems to me like she just isn't worth the risk.

[delicious ambiguity]

sweetheart, i don't care what anyone in the world will try to convince you into believing ----- someone's past should not be dismissed. it IS your business if you're getting involved with someone. rarely will you come across someone who does a complete 180. usually the people who say that the past "doesn't matter" are the people who are ashamed of things they've done in the past. the past follows you around forever. FOREVER. thats why its important to make good decisions - because whether you like it or not, the past catches up to you and can really screw things up. some people do change...be it through maturity or force...but an awful lot of people revert back to their old ways. you cannot fix other people...other people can only fix themselves through their own willpower. and quite frankly, most people aren't willing to honestly face themselves like that because society condones "uncomfortable things"...and admitting that a certain lifestyle is hurtful to self/others is not a walk in the park.

 

you seem like a nice guy. you deserve a nice girl. and think of it this way...when you walk into a party with her, or introduce her to your parents, or hang out with her + friends.....are you going to be proud of her?

[missdependant]

My advice to the OP is to just dump this girl. I know it's difficult, I've been where you're at.

 

In case you missed the other posts.. I suggested the same thing.

 

And no... Pasts don't matter, because believe it or not, people do change. OPINION. Get over it.