jbb255 Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 I have been married for 2 1/2 years, and with my wife for 6 1/2. I love my wife very much, and couldn't be happier. I ran accross some things from our past the other day, and it raised a question. My wife was involved with the love of her life for six years. Based on the her journals that I have run accross, she was head over heals for him. One day, the guy left his e-mail up on her computer and she found out that he had been seeing someone else for a year and a half. Neither my wife or the other women know about each other. I met her two years after this event. She apparently went through the motions of some relationships, but never had any real feelings for anyone. When I met her, she was extremely independent. She seemed almost like a brick wall. We had a great time together, but I never felt like she was totally into it. I made up my mind that I loved her, and she was the women for me. I knew with her past, I was going to have to give her space and time to ever love again. Our first year was rocky to say the least, but I put my pride aside. I am now so happy that I did. My wife over the period of our relationship has gone from this independent women that liked to be in control of everything, to being completely dependent on me. She does not make the simplest decision without consulting me. She want me to handle everything. When we first met she wanted to have total control sexually. Now, she wants me to take control. I realize that this a silly post, but I cannot discuss this with her. She is not much of a communicator. My questions are: are there any other women out there who have had a similar experience? Do women change as they get older to be more dependent? Do you think that she has always been this way, and just began to trust me over the years? I am not in anyway complaining. I love taking care of her. I just was curious what changed. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Wow! I feel like you could be MY husband. Although, I dont think he has noticed that Ive changed. I feel like I have. I was much more independent when he met me. I was very much the one in control. Financially, he is the main bread winner and a better money manager than I am - so I dont do anything like that anymore, except with mjy own paycheck - which is pretty much mine. Sometimes I have to ask him for money, which I hate. When did I stop knowing where my money went? His career is one that often encompasses our entire family, with him being the main event. I am happy not to have a high profile position, have no problem being supportive...but sometimes feel as though I am disappearing. How did he become more important than me? Is he? Sexually, I have always been confident and aggressive. I wonder if the above two things have affected my sexual attitude or if I am feeling less attractive. So, yeah, things can change. Link to post Share on other sites
Chrome Barracuda Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 Hmm maybe she wants to actually is invested in the idea of marriage. When you get married two become one. and maybe that ideaology she's starting to subscribe to. Just treat her right and let her know your gonna be good to her. Be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted March 4, 2009 Share Posted March 4, 2009 she might be relinquishing certain control as part of her understanding (and desire) to be what she believes a good wife is. So it's not that bad if you think of it in those terms. the poor communication skills are worrisome, though – you really owe it to yourselves to remedy that by getting into a marriage enrichment program so that you can fully enjoy your marriage together. Link to post Share on other sites
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