Tired of being single, how does a nice 20 soemthing girl get a date?

[lookingforhelyp]

Hi all,

ever since I had a horrific engagement break-off several years ago I haven't dated anyone (spent over a year in shock, first of all..) and now am ready to get it all started again.

I want to be dating someone, I want to be able to tell people about my boyfriend, and have someone call me and places to go, etc.

I'm social- I've joined several clubs, active in my profession, and have some really good friends. But with dating, I think I don't know where to start?

 

I don't think I even know how to tell if a guy likes me. I have some casual guy friends at work, and I don't know if a guy can tell when you are feeling really desperate for a date? I"m worried that I'm too flippant when I should pay more attention, or I'm too desperate looking and scary. I'm worried that I might come on too strong by making too much of an effort of talking to them.

 

I mean, I think I'm pretty attractive but I guess these days I'm just clueless about guys. And I guess the shock of the end of the 7+ yrs dating with my ex makes me nervous that guys aren't all that they seem so I get skittish? I keep trying to remind myself that I'm not in high school anymore, haha.

[flash582]

confidence, confidence, confidence.

 

a hint of mystery, an alluring smile, and dress/look nice, but not tooooo sexy.

 

The easy way to tell if a guy likes you? ... is he talking/smiling/looking at you?

 

Men are basically pretty simple creatures. Don't over analyze em' ... most of us just aren't that relationship smart.

 

Lastly .... just focus on being outgoing and making friends .... the love will come, but you never find love if your looking for it ... it's one of those things that has to find you.

[eclipseIDE]

Hi all,

ever since I had a horrific engagement break-off several years ago I haven't dated anyone (spent over a year in shock, first of all..) and now am ready to get it all started again.

I want to be dating someone, I want to be able to tell people about my boyfriend, and have someone call me and places to go, etc.

I'm social- I've joined several clubs, active in my profession, and have some really good friends. But with dating, I think I don't know where to start?

 

I don't think I even know how to tell if a guy likes me. I have some casual guy friends at work, and I don't know if a guy can tell when you are feeling really desperate for a date? I"m worried that I'm too flippant when I should pay more attention, or I'm too desperate looking and scary. I'm worried that I might come on too strong by making too much of an effort of talking to them.

 

I mean, I think I'm pretty attractive but I guess these days I'm just clueless about guys. And I guess the shock of the end of the 7+ yrs dating with my ex makes me nervous that guys aren't all that they seem so I get skittish? I keep trying to remind myself that I'm not in high school anymore, haha.

 

 

Quit thinking like a woman who is trying to assume what men think. Women are clueless when it comes to men.

Men arent the nut jobs pains in the butt that women are. You want to meet someone? Heres what you do, find a man you like and talk to him.

 

Most guys will be flattered by the attention theyre getting. Were usually used to being rejected by women who think they are gods gift to man kind.

[kizik]

Hi looking,

 

you needn't worry about finding a date; it's pretty easy for women. (Thank your stars you're not a guy; all women think you're hitting on them, get self-righteous, call you a creep, etc.) Keep doing what you're doing - being social and friendly. Most importantly, don't think of being single as a bad thing. You know why?

 

Because soon you'll meet a guy and start dating him and get married and have kids and get old and then you'll wish you were single.

 

The grass is always greener, my dear.

[kizik]

I want to be able to tell people about my boyfriend, and have someone call me and places to go, etc.

 

Although, re-reading this part makes me worried that you want someone just to appear popular and liked, which is pretty f*cked up. Don't use people for your own image purposes.

 

You really do need to be single. Your motivations and reasoning are all messed up. I'm not sure you get that people are individuals with their own desires, hobbies, thoughts and talents, and not pawns to serve your sense of well-being.

[lookingforhelyp]

umm kizik?

I wasn't trying to infer that I need a guy hanging around to look good at all. It's just nice to have somebody who cares that's all, but thanks

[lookingforhelyp]

well said eclipse, thanks for the inside guy's mind insite. I'll try to stop over analyzing and being nervous about it.

[eclipseIDE]

well said eclipse, thanks for the inside guy's mind insite. I'll try to stop over analyzing and being nervous about it.

 

 

No problem!

 

Women just need to understand its %10000 easier for women to meet a man most of the time. We are a lot more approachable. All you have to do is put yourself out there a little.

 

Some guys dont like women making the first move but these are the type of men who usually are intimidated by strong women.

[Shnuggles]

If a girl was to come up to me and start a conversation I would be most impressed. Do it twice and I would ask you out for a coffee.

 

Yes, we are simple creatures.

 

I think Kizik needs to relax a little. Talking to friends and family about a new partner is nice and exciting. She just wants a new partner in her life to make her days a little brighter. Don't we all?

[9Lives]

confidence, confidence, confidence.

 

a hint of mystery, an alluring smile, and dress/look nice, but not tooooo sexy.

 

The easy way to tell if a guy likes you? ... is he talking/smiling/looking at you?

 

Men are basically pretty simple creatures. Don't over analyze em' ... most of us just aren't that relationship smart.

 

Lastly .... just focus on being outgoing and making friends .... the love will come, but you never find love if your looking for it ... it's one of those things that has to find you.

 

This was really good advice. I need to write this down. I like what you said. I need to do it.

 

I am shy though. I want to talk to guys but I dont want to get rejected and I dont want him to think I am coming on to him just because I approached him. How do you approach a guy without him think you are coming on to him?

[yongyong]

I don't think you need a confidence as women. If you are shy, that's considered as cute or adorable (for a guy, it's wuss)

I see a lot of quite woman who sit by themselves at coffee shop and doesn't even want to make eye contact or can't make eye contact with smile.

you don't have to approach guys first but at least you gotta smile at them to give a hint.

[The Blue Pill]

How does a 'nice' 20 something get a date?

 

Women, the way you approach meeting new men is directly proportionate to your attractiveness. Be honest with yourself, and rate yourself from 1 to 10.

 

If you were a 9 or a 10, you wouldn't be posting here asking how to meet men.

 

If you're a 7-8, then the typical "walk-up-to-someone-and-start-a-conversation" tactic will probably work. It's already been stated, but it's MUCH easier for a woman to start something than it is for a man. If you're in this category, a man will most likely give you the time of day. There are other circumstances of course, but for the most part.

 

If you are a 6 or less, you will probably have to use other methods that are a bit more cunning. Use that "Nice" attitude from your thread title and put it to use, but you should probably start thinking outside the box. Watch the movie Hitch, lol.

 

I wish more women would act on their attractions, I believe there would be a lot more happy couples out there if that happened.

 

Oh also, shy girls can be very attractive to certain guys! If you're shy, obviously avoid the giant dick screaming with his buddies at the bar and spilling beer all over himself. You should probably judge the books by their covers in that instance. Look for someone who is acting calm in a rowdy place, and you might find someone who would welcome your calm in return