Kathleen555 Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 My boyfriend and I met on a spritual/emotional retreat where we both did some serious work on ourselves and in the group process, completely bared our souls. We cried, worked through our shame, spoke of the unspeakable. It was a fantastic process, incidently, I have a new sense of self-worth, such as I've never had. My boyfriend and I bypassed all the initial getting-to-know-you stuff, there was nothing to hide behind. This is something I've always struggled with...pretending to be someone else because I didn't like myself. He knows me completely...and loves who I am...he is indeed my best friend. He's 18 and I'm 28. He's five hours away by car. We have tried to stop thinking about how crazy it is...and are just going with it. There doesn't seem to be an age difference when we're together or on the phone - we meet eachother's needs perfectly. I love having the time alone to work on myself. He's more mature than most of the men I've dated my age. But it's difficult in that I don't feel like I can tell my family and friends. I've always picked the "wrong" guys. Some friends that I have told just brush it off as I have fallen hard before and it hasn't worked out. I have always sought out the most unavailable men. Am I doing that again? If I ask the question that has become a standard in decisions for me..."What would love do now?"...there is no question, for he is love. I feel this. It is such a gentle, passionate, and fun relationship. We can talk about how we feel and gained many tools on the retreat to work through whatever issues arise. But there is a voice that whispers that this is somehow "wrong". Morally, even. Am I in old, shameful patterns? Have I set myself up? I'm interested to know what you think. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 Am I in old, shameful patterns? In a word, yes. Not sure what your age of majority is there, but if he hasn't reached it, he's close. He can make up his own mind as can you. All you need do is follow your hearts. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 go for it, but be careful. just be forewarned of all the hardships that demographics may bring. having said that, my best boy, as it were, was 20 to my 25 at the time. he not only was a yummy brilliant bit of goods but i grew with him much more than the elderly one before. he taught me so much about the history of human thought and battle. (man. nostalgia. nostalgia. mmm...done.) it didn't work out, mostly because of my intimacy issues at the time, but looking back i am so glad i knew him. of the three guys i have known well, this one imprinted standards the hardest. i dig nerdy-macho men, and hot ones that crave a woman as independent intelligent slutbox are priceless. at any age. so, if concerns about age < appreciation for his rare characteristics, then = just run with it. frankly, he may not be a keeper, Kathleen, but go for it anyway if you feel it strongly. cheers j Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 elderly one before ? You had a thing for geriatric gentlemen? Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 lol, they are not synonyms. i counted elderly as 7 years older or more, (the elder generation) as the youthful arrogant are wont to do. now i count elderly as 12 years older or more. i expect the number to continue to rise hopefully. j Link to post Share on other sites
subtitled Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 my parents are 10 years apart, and from my perspective, it's an inappropriate age gap... but maybe my parents are unique in that. They are also polar opposite personalities... Link to post Share on other sites
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