Fiance wants to return ring

[hotgurl]

What's up with people jumping on the gold digger train? There is A LOT more to an engagement ring than carat size and price. Maybe she doesn't like the style, maybe she doesn't like the way it looks on her? Maybe she just doesn't like that ring!

 

When I see threads like this I am so thankful that my SO and I made an appointment to try rings on and play around. Looking at rings online is nothing like actually trying them on. So while she may have thought the ring was nice in a picture it may not be what she imagined in person.

 

I would have a talk with her. Express your disappointment. Be clear that if this is about "better and more" you're insulted and putt off, but if it's the look, the type of metal, the cut, maybe you can work with her.

 

This is a ring she will wear forever, this is a ring she will show off to everyone, it is very important that she loves it.

 

I agree I actually really loved ring shopping with my man.

[soserious1]

I wouldn't consider her a gold digger. She makes great money.(twice over what I made when I was working) She doesn't need a thing. She doesn't shop like crazy but when she does, it's the best stuff. Trust me, she's not with me for my salary.

 

We still need to talk more. She indicated that she is not really feeling the style of the ring. So I asked, "do you want to change the stone also?" She answered "I don't know yet, we'll see". Her finger is tiny(size 4 3/4) so the Princess cut looks pretty big on her finger. She may want a round stone as she mentioned one time that she wants to use a stone that she has that her father gave her mother.(There I go again, not grabbing these hints!) I personally didn't want to use anyone elses stone because well, its not what I picked out for her.

 

She tried to use an analogy to explain why we should go together. We are planning on starting a family by years end. We are also planning on getting a full size crew cab truck. She says "when we go get this truck, I want you to be there to help with the color, etc and make the decision together" I quickly shot that down with "a truck doesn't involve feelings!"

 

I don't know. After a day, I'm a little bit better and trying to understand her point of view but still can't help but feel hurt about it. She'll be in for a surprise if she goes over my budget and won't have the ring for how ever long it takes for me to save the difference. I'm sure her sister will be asking "wheres your ring?"

 

We are planning on going tomorrow. Would it be mean if I asked her if she would like to bring her sister, mother, or any other friends that may have some input before I purchase?

 

I wear a size 5 ring and am picky,picky about rings because my fingers are so small. Anything too big or wide looks gaudy and overwhelming.

 

Your girl also said she wanted to use a stone from her family.. I'm thinking that this woman isn't a gold digger but rather that she wants the ring she's going to wear everyday for the rest of her life to be truly reflective of her

tastes .

 

I'm betting if you return the ring you got and use the stone from her family

chances are probably very good that you'll be able to save considerable money as you'll only need to pay for a new setting. You guys can then get really nice wedding rings for you both.

[Enema]

I'm a romantic.

 

I gave my (now) wife a few grand and told her to go out and buy her own ring.

 

Win:Win

[SophieA]

I'm sorry Honestly, I am so in love with my boyfriend of 5 years...he could propose to me with a 10.00 ring and I'd be ecstatic! I'll just never understand why some women aren't happy with the rings that their men choose. I'd be so excited that he picked it out himself...

[vander]

There is A LOT more to an engagement ring than carat size and price. Maybe she doesn't like the style, maybe she doesn't like the way it looks on her? Maybe she just doesn't like that ring!

 

When I see threads like this I am so thankful that my SO and I made an appointment to try rings on and play around. Looking at rings online is nothing like actually trying them on. So while she may have thought the ring was nice in a picture it may not be what she imagined in person.

 

Oh I wish my fiance had taken me shopping with him! I would have loved to have some input. The ring he got me is not my style at all. I was afraid to say anything to him at first because I know he put so much effort into finding the "perfect ring". I didn't like it, but I didn't say anything -- and I'm glad I didn't say anything. Over the past year I've learned to love it.

 

Unfortunately it's been impossible to find a wedding band that looks good with it. It's "curvy", so no wedding band will fit up next to it. We've gone wedding band shopping together. Now that we've been to several stores and found nothing that looked good with it, he says that he got the "wrong" ring and he feels awful.

 

Honestly, I don't want to get rid of the ring he gave me, because I love it. It's still not my style, but I love it. I can't find a wedding band to match it, but I love the ring and I simply refuse to part with it.

 

I'm still not sure what to do about the impossible wedding band. I'm considering just not wearing one.

 

So, yeah, it would have been so awesome to be taken shopping and to have some input! It may have saved us some frustration.

 

I don't understand why guys feel the need to pick out the perfect ring on their own -- without any input from their fiances. I'd never DREAM of buying a wedding band for my fiance and then demand that he wears it for the rest of his life. Good grief, how presumptuous. I have no right to select something that he will wear forever. That's really something that HE should pick out!

 

I guess I just don't understand the mentality.

[Tizzy]

I proposed Monday night with IMO a very nice ring that fit my budget and was very good quality diamonds. Today, I could see something was bothering her. I asked her what was wrong and she looks at the ring. I asked "you don't like it?" She goes on to say it's beautiful, but she was surprised I didn't take her to pick it out...I found out a couple months ago she made her first husband exchange the ring as well. I shoulda known better....Now I'm bummed and kinda turned off on this whole engagement wedding thing. I'm not excited at all anymore.

 

Bummedout, you asked your fiance what she thought about the ring. It's not like she came out and flat out said "hey, I don't like it, let's get another one." According to your post, she was silent about the whole thing and you asked her about it and she gave you an honest answer, and now you say you question the entire engagement and wedding. I think you are overreacting, BIG time. If shopping for a ring together and finding one that she likes will make her happy, why not just do it. Get over yourself and make this woman you claim you love happy. Pick your battles.

 

Also, how can a discussion over a ring kill all of your excitement about marrying a woman you're supposed to be in love with??? And what does "I shoulda known" mean?? Known what??! You should've evaluated any doubts you had about this woman before you asked her to marry you. Now that you've made the committment, hang in there and do what's reasonable to make your lives happy together, if you do in fact want to be with her. If that means getting a different ring for her, then do just that and let this whole issue be done.

[D-Lish]

I also took back the ring my ex husband bought me.

He spent wayyyyy too much on it- more than we/he could afford at the time.

 

I also have small fingers and like lighter rings.

The ring I chose was $4,400 less than the one he bought.

I think HE bought into the notion that he had to spend a fortune. That whole 3 months salary BS rule.

 

He ended up buying a new TV for himself and put the rest into paying off his school loans.

[boldjack]

I don't believe in supporting the illegal diamond trade and so never bought any engagement ring for my wife. I explained that I didn't want the lives of several african children on her finger, she understood and we ended up getting a platinum band with our initials entwined.