coolio Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 ok so i know this girl.. i have know her since i was young, she lives 8 hours away. we have been talking for years via msn and text and i see her maybe once a year if that. its come to the point where i can't stand being here with out her. its so hard... we talk about what it would be like if we were together and i just wish it could happen... i dont know what to do i know she likes me and me her. but it really hurts, i think about her all the time and i want to see her so badly! we both know theres nothing we can do, were both 15 and go to school.. i want to just leave and see her right now but i cant... why does life have to suck this much i just cant stand it not being with her anymore.. i really dont know what to do, i have tried dating girls that go to my school and live close by but i always end up either compairing them to her or just not into them because im into her way to much.. i feel stupid like i never see her yet i like her so so so much! what can i do? anyone have any advice or personal experiences they would like to share? Link to post Share on other sites
KikiW Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Being fifteen was not my favorite time of life - everything was emotional and difficult and depressing and irritating and all those wonderful things that come with the age. I had some strong friendships that lasted through, and some strong friendships that bit me in the butt. And when your hormones are raging and you've got your sights on someone who is just fantastic, it's hard to look away. I am not saying you should give it up, by any means. She sounds like a really special girl in your life, and you should make sure to keep that. But the reality is that you are both underage and do not have the independence to be able to see each other when you want. As tempting as it is, running off to meet up will only cause you both HUGE problems. Until you can establish more independence, here is my advice. Talk to each other as often as you both want. Is she interested in a long distance relationship or is she hesitant about making that kind of commitment? If she is, that's great, but you both have to know how hard they are... I'm sure you can tell just by reading threads here where the people are in their 20s, 30's, 40's+. One thing you can focus on is a part time job. I had one all through high school and I DEARLY wish I had something to put the money towards instead of blowing it all... You have the opportunity to live with your parents and save a LOT of money right now, take advantage of it. Save it towards a summertime visit (you say you see her once a year, I am just assuming it's during summer), or send her a little gift through the mail to let her know you are thinking of her (a LITTLE gift, please do NOT buy her expensive gadgets or jewelry ). Even sending a handwritten letter in the mail can be a treasure in this modern age of emails and texts. As long as you both are honest with each other, there is no reason you can't work on a good relationship. It's hard work, but very rewarding - good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author coolio Posted March 6, 2009 Author Share Posted March 6, 2009 yeah she definitely means a lot to me. the reason i get to see her is because our parents are friends and they usual visit each year. i don't think though a long distance relationship would happen. we both know its to hard and cause to much pain. really we just both want something we cant have. i guess i will just keep up talking to her but its really hard the way i feel for her but can't be with her. thanks for the adivce! Link to post Share on other sites
Author coolio Posted March 7, 2009 Author Share Posted March 7, 2009 im thinking i should just get a friend to drive me up to see her. i wont tell my rents i'll lie somehow but its all i got now theres no other way i could see her and we both know it Link to post Share on other sites
Nicodaemos Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 there shouldnt be any reason to lie to your parents. if the family are friends, then it shouldnt be a problem if you go for a weekend to see her. lying about things can only make it harder. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 im thinking i should just get a friend to drive me up to see her. i wont tell my rents i'll lie somehow but its all i got now theres no other way i could see her and we both know it Do NOT lie to your parents about something like this. If you really like this girl, then surely they know it by now. Ask them if you can go see her for a weekend, or invite her down to your place. The adults might even welcome getting together more often. If you are close enough that a friend can drive you there, then you are close enough for a parent to drive you there - with honesty and openness. Exactly how far apart are you, anyway? You could talk to your parents about taking Amtrak or a bus or meeting the other parents halfway, if they can't work out a driving arrangement. But unless you want your life at home to become a living hell with loss of computer, loss of cell, loss of iPod, loss of future driving privileges, don't lie to your parents. If this girl is worthy of your devotion, then she is worthy of your being grown-up enough to talk to your parents openly. Link to post Share on other sites
KikiW Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Oooh nooo, no lying to the 'rents. They will come down on you like a ton of bricks, and it could affect their friendship with this girl's parents. Do NOT put them in a bad position. Do you think they would disapprove of having a closer relationship with this girl? If you are honest with them, maybe they will be supportive and allow supervised visits (let's be honest, they are going to want to keep an eye on you, but if you stay as a guest at least you can hang out with her, go to the movies, whatever). But no, do not lie to parents. If my daughter did that she would be in for a world of hurt (figuratively!). Link to post Share on other sites
Nicodaemos Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 oh, another thought, telling them the truth, being responsible, yea, may make them more protective of things, but it will also show you understand the responsibilities of being in a relationship. Shows you are being mature about things. Why try to hide things if its already good, cause then, that means there is something to hide.... dont lie about things, maybe show you want it by taking after school jobs, or do extra chores around the house. maybe even completely extra things like breakfast in bed, and giving your parents a good day together. You parents would love a day that they can relax, not worry about things, and spend time with each other. even if its at home. it also shows that you are willing to do things for your relationship. Make an extra effort for what you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Why can't you tell your parents? Are you sure they'll disapprove? Link to post Share on other sites
Author coolio Posted March 7, 2009 Author Share Posted March 7, 2009 ok so i wont be lying to my rents about seeing her. really i don't think either hers nor my rents know anything about us both being close as we are. if they do they haven't said anything about it anyway. if everyone thinks i should just tell my rents and ask them what i should do then maybe i should. i just think that is sort of awkward the way things are. not sure if you would completely understand why it would be weird to tell them. if you think its the best though then i might. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Ofcourse it will feel weird and awkward telling your parents that you like this girl. I can promise you that at least 99% of the posters here will have felt that way when they first told their parents that there was somebody they liked. I know I did. But if your are honest with your parents and show that you have thought about this, that you don't want to lie and that you are willing to take a part-time job to help cover travel costs then you stand a much better chance of them accepting your decision and helping you. Show that you are maturing into a young adult and respect your parents. The fact that they know her family can only help. Link to post Share on other sites
KikiW Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Listen, I know parents seem alien when you're 15. I was SO sure mine were totally out to lunch and had NO IDEA about what I was up to or could possibly understand how I felt. LOL. I would bet that if you confide in your parents, they will be thrilled that their teenage son is being so open about that kind of subject and will listen and be helpful. Unless you have unusual circumstances, your parents are there to BE supportive and helpful They may have even been in a similar experience, so use their knowledge and listen to their advice. They will be happy to have this new connection with you, and may be able to work something out where you can spend time with the gal you like. Link to post Share on other sites
Author coolio Posted March 10, 2009 Author Share Posted March 10, 2009 yeah will see, long distance i think is basically the worst thing that can ever happen to a relationship. theres literally nothing you can do, at least at my age. and i guess i just have to get used to the fact that for the coming years any close contact with this girl will be extremly hard. i didnt know that a distance like this could make me realise how much i could care for someone like i do now. she is the best thing that has ever happened to me but at the same time the worst thing, i guess you could put it that way. it just hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author coolio Posted June 8, 2009 Author Share Posted June 8, 2009 so i know this forum is old but i just found out i dont think i will be seeing her this summer. Another year im going to have to wait.. Im crushed, and lost at what to do.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 Have you both talked with your respective parents and told them that you want to see each other, that you have found that you have a lot in common and that you have gotten very close through the telephone and internet? Link to post Share on other sites
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