I'm Joe Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 I have been thinking thinking about it lately. I am almost 25 years old and the last time I can remember being truly happy was when I was a little kid... like 7... and that was only out of ignorance of the world around me. when your that age it is easy to get lost in your own mind and forget the rest of the world exists. When I say happy I mean Very happy, like where everything seems to be right with the world and there is no anxiety or fear of the unknown attached to your happiness. one of those cloud nine events where no one could bring you down if they tried. I don't think I am depressed either I feel like I have a normally functioning personality. I have brief moments of happiness now and then. but nothing like what I am describing. Does anyone identify with me? have you been happy recently? am I just miserable and I don't realize it? Link to post Share on other sites
Peter_pan Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 lol i know the feeling mate. yeah when i think of being truly happy i think it was when i was about 10 - 12 just because life is so easy i guess. i have been happy recently, but with me it will only be for an hour of happiness or "excitement feeling" join a new sport or hit the gym Link to post Share on other sites
Author I'm Joe Posted March 6, 2009 Author Share Posted March 6, 2009 lol i know the feeling mate. yeah when i think of being truly happy i think it was when i was about 10 - 12 just because life is so easy i guess. i have been happy recently, but with me it will only be for an hour of happiness or "excitement feeling" join a new sport or hit the gym That's just what I am talking about.. I flirt with joy here and there. Like lets say if I see family I haven't seen in a while. or when the Blazers beat the lakers. but I can't remember the last time when my whole attitude and demeanor have been happy for a significant period of time. I remember when I was about 13 my parents got me a Nintendo 64 for Christmas. I poped in a few games and was pretty stoked for the rest of that day. and every time I played a game I really liked, but it was fleeting. as soon as the t.v. turned of so did my smile. I want a happiness that trancends "things". Link to post Share on other sites
Peter_pan Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 yeh i know where your coming from. i guess to get a really good satisfying feeling you should try "giving" go out your way to make other people happy and in itself you will be rewarded with happiness Link to post Share on other sites
nana yaw II Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 I often think that happiness is fleeting. Sure, we feel happy now and then, but i don't think consistent happiness is possible, or even desirable. we always have things that frustrate, annoy or sadden us. Even if it's a relatively small thing, there aren't many situations in which all things are perfect. also, i reckon that human beings are built for consistent happiness. by being completely satisfied all the while, after a time we feel empty and unfulfilled. so really, IMO, happiness is about being generally happy, over being 100% happy or 100% unhappy, and neither position from my standpoint is desirable. Link to post Share on other sites
headlesschicken Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 i don't think happiness is something to strive for. or really all that important. it has to come naturally and be felt and let to pass. the last time i felt happy was yesterday, not because of any outside events, nothing external "made" me happy--i just was, and i think that's the only true form of happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
Peter_pan Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 yeh i never seem to have a "just was" happy. thats my problem. probably the same as i'm joe Link to post Share on other sites
Author I'm Joe Posted March 6, 2009 Author Share Posted March 6, 2009 i don't think happiness is something to strive for. or really all that important. It seems to me that happiness is the ultimate goal of human existance. in the end it is why we eat, work, sleep, play. even when you sacrifice to make others happy. the reason you do it is because them being happy makes you happy. If your saying that there is a sort of fake happiness to be avoided then I hear you, but even as I type this right now I hope to interact with others, relate my human experience with them, increase my understanding and be slightly more "happy" Link to post Share on other sites
SarahRose Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 I'm happy the majority of the day almost every day. It's a choice. Link to post Share on other sites
Peter_pan Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 its a choice but its also a mindset. so you cant force yourself to be happy. thats being fake and will prob make you feel more ****ty for pretending Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 I'm happy the majority of the day almost every day. It's a choice. I would very much agree with this however, sometimes we go through periods in our life that can really cloud that choice and make it hard to be happy. At least that's been the case for me. I am now in a happy place after a very tough 2 years. It took alot of strength and learning about myself to arrive to a happy state. Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
Ross PK Posted March 6, 2009 Share Posted March 6, 2009 Dunno but I'm feeling happy right now. Hopefully it'll last. Link to post Share on other sites
crosswordfiend Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 I was very happy today. After a long winter, today was the first real day of warm weather - record high in fact - and I took out my bike and rode around to my hearts content. Link to post Share on other sites
kdark Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Try not to look at happiness as an end goal. If you buy this video game, get this promotion, if I get into a relationship, ultimately, it won't make yourself happy. It will for a little while, but then whatever keeps you from being happy when you are by yourself will find a way to weasel itself back into your life, despite your best efforts to keep it deep and buried within you. It's up to you to find out what it is that is keeping you from being truly happy with yourself. For me it is my fear of intimacy and my fear of failure. I can trace these two things back to so many of my problems in my life that it is scary. Once I can learn to come to terms with my shortcomings, I will be one truly happy person. Happiness is a state of mind Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 am I just miserable and I don't realize it? What if you're just happy and you don't realize it, though? I get happy over what others perceive to be really "stupid" things. Like an hour ago, I was leaving a restaurant and this song was playing. And I knew that I knew who the group was...it was like a 'no brainer' song and group but I just couldn't get it. So I asked about 5 people on the way out, "Who IS singing this?" And they all said, "Yeah, I know who that is. But it's just not coming to me." And then someone came running out into the parking lot..."It's Led Zeppelin!" (Which IS a no-brainer when you are my age!) And that made me really happy. Someone gave enough of a crap to run out after me for something as inconsequential as that, just to put my mind at ease. And, of course, I yelled back, "THANK YOU!!!" And all the way home, "I am so happy! That was such a great dinner." (Wings and beer, so not at all a "great" dinner.) And my b/f with this look in his eyes like, "Ronni, I know that type of stuff makes you happy but...I just don't get how that type of stuff can make anyone so happy." Like SarahRose said. It's a choice. It depends what you're choosing to find in the really "stupid" and mundane crap that goes on around you. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 And that made me really happy. Someone gave enough of a crap to run out after me for something as inconsequential as that, just put my mind at ease. Little things can make me happy, too. Also, sometimes little happinesses can lead to a big happiness. For example, my snowman, being so sweet and digging my car out of the snow. I was so happy that this adorable man helped me out of a difficult situation of my own making, that I posted it on LS. 7+ weeks after his chivalrous act, we're engaged. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 little happinesses can lead to a big happiness...we're engaged. Um, you musta meant "...can lead to HUGE happiness" (and then went looking for like the size 72 font)!!! That is the BEST small-to-big happy story ever, TBF. Too cute and too cool. And I'm glad I'm not the only one on this planet who gets all overwhelmed by the initially-perceived-as-"little" stuff May we assume that you'll be "sharing the happiness" and 'live streaming' the ceremony so that all your LS pals can also "attend"??? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 Um, you musta meant "...can lead to HUGE happiness" (and then went looking for like the size 72 font)!!! That is the BEST small-to-big happy story ever, TBF. Too cute and too cool. And I'm glad I'm not the only one on this planet who gets all overwhelmed by the initially-perceived-as-"little" stuff May we assume that you'll be "sharing the happiness" and 'live streaming' the ceremony so that all your LS pals can also "attend"??? Thanks Ronnie! Love the font size. Small things can sometimes make me happier than big things which is why I also try to do small kindnesses for other people. Haha...no way. The live stream or clip would be critiqued to the point where if one of us doesn't smile, at exactly 1400 hours, it's a big red flag and we're headed for the divorce courts! :laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 it's a big red flag and we're headed for the divorce courts! Hey, if two people can find love and happiness in a freakin' snowbank there simply are NO red flags!!! NIL, ZERO, NADA red flags. Nothing but absolute, total, 100% TRUE LOVE can survive a freakin' snowbank. . And there's plenty of scientific research to back that up...I'm sure of it. Well, pretty sure. Well, for sure when they DO their scientific research, it will prove me right...I am sure of that! I'm Joe, (er, no, *I* am not 'Joe'...er, YOU'RE Joe) thanks for starting this thread -- you've increased happiness for many (well, some, at least) just by doing that -- with a bit of luck or magic, that will bring some happiness to you, too! Link to post Share on other sites
Author I'm Joe Posted March 7, 2009 Author Share Posted March 7, 2009 The things that are holding me back from having the kind of happiness I described are numerous, but they can be narrowed down to the having the responsibilities of being an adult, and the misery and uncertainty of being alone. That said I would never call myself depressed. I don't think I am that much different from anyone else I just haven't been jubilant in the past 16 years. There are few things that piss me off more than people who refuse to take responsibility for the quality of there own lives. The perpetual victims, if you will. I am in control over weather or not I am happy. Perhaps I just worry more than the average person, so I can't ever have the sort of joy that isn't tainted with concern and anxiety. Maybe I just miss the ignorance of youth Either way happiness is a goal I will have to work on. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 can be narrowed down to the having the responsibilities of being an adult So...more of a general not feeling safe in, and supported by, the Universe type of thing? I have felt that, too. For me, cognitive therapy helped to uncover and come to terms with many of my underlying beliefs and fears that caused me to feel anxious and 'disconnected'. And psychospiritual therapy was also good for me. Interesting that you put it down to "responsibilities of adulthood" though -- for me, it was that some of those responsibilities were passed off to me at too young an age -- I'd describe mine as more the "over-responsibilities of youth" . But possibly same result for each of us -- kind of not feeling 100% able and capable of pulling off this whole thing called 'Life'? Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 The last time I was happy... November 17th, 2007. Link to post Share on other sites
splintered thing Posted March 8, 2009 Share Posted March 8, 2009 Most of the time. Pretty happy right now. I'd like to have a bigger bank balance and a smaller tummy at the moment, but maybe I'll make some progress on both of those over the next week or two. Over all, life is pretty darned good and I'd say that every day has at least a few especially nice moments and little (but satisfying) accomplishments. Then for reasons unknown--maybe it's just a random hormonal thing or something--I'll just have days when everything just feels like it'll all on the right track somehow and will all work out wonderfully, even if it's not obvious how at the moment. I think it helps that I just feel like, whatever happens, I'll find a way to make it work. I think that makes it easier to relax than if you're too focused on all the ways that things might not work out the way you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Author I'm Joe Posted March 8, 2009 Author Share Posted March 8, 2009 -I'll just have days when everything just feels like it'll all on the right track somehow and will all work out wonderfully, even if it's not obvious how at the moment. That happens to me sometimes too.. Only I never get a full day of that feeling I get like a minute at most. but it is sweet when it happens Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 I don't think i've ever really been 'truly happy'. Obviously I have my moments; my first kiss, riding on a banana boat, christmas mornings as a child - definately a lot of childhood memories. But I think I have a naturally restless, anxious and perfectionist personality. I think happiness is being able to switch off your mind and sometimes your heart so that thoughts and feelings can't infiltrate you, and just 'be' in the moment. It's not really happiness either, but contentment. I think it's very hard to be content in life particularly with the way that happiness is supposedly tied into something that you must have, or achieve or own. As such we are constantly chasing happiness. It's like the buzz or buying something you love, that quick hit of happiness, and then it fades. Also the things that make us happy aren't lasting; we lose people, we lose things etc. There are so few if any guarantees or constants to KEEP us happy, so being happy has to become a mindset or an attribute of your personality, rather than a reaction to whos in your life or what's going on or what you have. I think a lot of happiness comes from who we talk to and what we have, but when we lose it, we lose our happiness, because it was outside not inside happiness. I don't think i'll ever have that 'inside happiness' - i'm not sure why, but i've never seemed to be able to have or keep it. My mind and my heart are just too...problematic Link to post Share on other sites
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