queenie Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 i am wondering how many people go to the with their partner at the same time? is it unusual for one to always go to bed before the other because he likes to stay up late and watch t.v.? Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 We go to bed at the same time, but I still stay up late and watch TV. Fortuneately, my partner is so tired in the evening from getting up at 4:30AM that he can sleep through anything! Link to post Share on other sites
queenie Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 he can just as easily watch t.v. in the bedroom but wants to be able to watch what his show is but i told him now that he can watch what ever he wants but still i think he just wants some time for himself, not sure really, i should ask him that too i guess. i'm tryng not to take this personally but it bothers me that he wants to stay up late instead of coming to be with me like he use to. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 I'm no relationship authority, but I think that going to bed together somehow helps a couple to bond. For instance, in my first marriage, I would stay up late at night working on many projects while my husband retired early. By the time I came to bed, around 11:00PM, he was snoring so loudly that I had to sleep in another room. In the morning, he would leave for work earlier than I did without coming into the room to kiss me good-bye. This did not help to build 'intimacy' at all! Having learned this from my first relationship, I now make an effort to do things differently with my current partner. When he goes upstairs, I drop whatever I'm doing and follow him. And even if he starts snoring and I must leave the room, at least he was able to fall asleep having me beside him. It's become such a habit now that I think we'd both feel funny if we did it any other way. I've also asked him, that even if he's running late and is in a hurry, to PLEASE wake me at 4:30 so that I can kiss him goodbye and tell him I love him before he goes off to work. You just never know if that might be the last moment you will see each other. Also, unlike my first marriage, we don't spend our "at home" time watching television in separate rooms. He may spend a few hours in his workshop after work, while I'm in the studio, but at night after we have dinner we spend quality time snuggling and talking together on the couch whether the television is on or not. I think some couples after being together for so long, forget how important 'bonding' really is. I know my ex-husband and I did. And although I've only been with my current partner for four years, I am determined that I won't allow myself to fall into a “rut” and become lackadaisical when it comes to showing affection and making our time spent together really count. With a little luck and effort on both our parts, hopefully things will turn out much better for us this time. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 The first few years we were married we worked different shifts. He would come home at 6am and go to bed and I would leave for work at 6am. I came home at 6pm and would go to bed and he would be leaving for work! It was great because those few moments we spent together each day were great. After the jobs changed we would go to bed at the same time, but that changed because I like to read and he likes to watch TV so he would stay in the other room. When he was sleepy he came to bed and went to sleep and I kept reading for a while. After we bought our house he claimed he couldn't sleep with the dogs (one kept laying his head on my husbands leg and that kept him awake) so he moved into his own room. We slept in separate rooms for about 7 years. When my mom moved in with us I moved into his room, but we still had the dog problem so he slept on an inflatable mattress on the living room floor for about 4 years. When our dogs passed away he moved back in with me and we've shared a room for about a year and a half now. Maybe 2 or 3 times a month we actually go to bed at the same time. He winds down by watching TV and I need the quiet and a book to wind down, so we are back to the old habits. He comes to bed after Leno and I keep reading for a while! Whatever works at the end of the day to relax and unwind. Link to post Share on other sites
imjustagirl Posted October 7, 2003 Share Posted October 7, 2003 It honestly depends....my boyfriend doesn't "officially" live with me...but he does sleep at my house 7 nights a week and eat my food. But what can a girl do Depends on the night...if he has a lot of homework, I'll leave him be in the living room to do what he needs to do and I'll go to bed and/or watch tv. Sometimes, we lay in bed and watch tv/dvd's...sometimes we hang out on the couch. I guess it depends. But to answer your question 6 nights out of 7, we go to bed at the same time. ~justa~ Link to post Share on other sites
Purrrfection8 Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 Hi Queenie, I think relationships are about give and take... Mayb it's his time of the day to unwind, sit back, sink into his head, relax, de-stress a little... I would give him that time... But - at the same time, I would also let him know that every once in a while (by that I mean, every few days), it would b nice for him to join you in bed for snuggle time also... G'luck and happy sleeping, Purrrfection8 Link to post Share on other sites
niko1999 Posted October 8, 2003 Share Posted October 8, 2003 we generally go to bed at the same time. Now, whether or not we fall asleep at the same tiem, that is a different story. The only time we usually go to bed at different times is when one or the other is sick, or Im up all night cuase I procrastinated with my homework again. And when I do go to bed before him for anyother reason, I cant sleep, then I stay up until his dumb butt comes to bed As far as your man not going to bed the same time as you everynight, dont worry too much about it. Let him know that occasionally you would like to go to bed at the same time, it makes you feel better. But that time at night,, may very well be his time. Long as he isnt downloading tons of porn, or "talking" "online", I wouldnt worry about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Jamie31 Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 Well, it's kind of a different situation with me and my hubby. He works night shift and I work days, so we are hardly ever in the bed at the same time. Even on his off-nights, he usually stays up at night. But over the holidays and stuff, and on some weekends when we are both here, we usually go to bed at the same time. Link to post Share on other sites
cindy0039 Posted October 9, 2003 Share Posted October 9, 2003 I'm a night person and my husband is a morning person (I hate mornings!), so our schedules rarely match up. Plus, he has to get up really early for work and I don't. So a lot of times we don't go to bed at the same time. Sometimes I will go to bed with him and then if I can't get to sleep I get up after he's asleep and read or get on the computer. On weekends he usually tries to stay up late with me and we go to bed together because he gets to sleep in. I kind of like having my time alone late at night during the week when the house is quiet and I can read, because I have a hard time doing that any other time. My husband usually always has to have the TV on. Link to post Share on other sites
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