Is Your Relationship Viable For the Long-Term or Will it be Short-Lived?

[Star Gazer]

I didn't know you could do that. How do you do it? Where does it show if a thread is even rated?

 

Oh and thanks SG!

 

At the top of thread, in the pink bar. It says "Rate this thread."

 

I've seen other threads show up with stars next to them in the listing of all the threads within a sub-forum. Only once or twice though. I'm not sure if multiple people have to rate it to show up, or what...

[Touche]

At the top of thread, in the pink bar. It says "Rate this thread."

 

I've seen other threads show up with stars next to them in the listing of all the threads within a sub-forum. Only once or twice though. I'm not sure if multiple people have to rate it to show up, or what...

 

Oh ok, I saw it. Just rated my own thread..hee, hee. Is that terrible?

 

I've never noticed any threads with stars before. I hope mine does show up with stars and then I can go to the ninnies saying I'm playing god. I know, I know...I'm a baby.

[burningashes]

Sure. Here's my previous post, I only made two on this thread.

Hehe, this sounds like fun. Granted, my relationship is still pretty new, but it's so oh exciting

 

We've been friends for almost a year and we started dating after I ended things with my ex who I dated for 7 years. I'm 25 and he's 28, we both have had ltr's where we both were engaged. He left because his ex who he was with for 4 years ran off with his boss, ouch, right? Anyhow... we started seeing each other back in november until we became official on new years eve (he wanted me to ask him to be my bf and decided I was taking too long to ask him out so HE asked me instead, hehe)

 

We spend a lot of time together, I see him at least twice a week. We try to make our schedules mesh, we both work really weird hours with myself being a coordinator who manages a couple of group homes and he a police officer. He has already met my family and we share a lot of things in common- like geeking it out on the computers together or watching 24 or the beast, we enjoy going out for dinner together sometimes. We're very intimate aside from sex, I love giving him back massages and he loves to lie down with me on the couch to cuddle for a movie. He's coming over for dinner with me and my family tonight and I'm really, really looking forward to it. I'm in love with him, that's for sure

 

So... viable, or not?

 

Ok, burning...some questions:

 

How long was it from the time you ended things with your ex until you and your b/f became an item?

 

How did it come about that you were friends with your b/f? Were you maybe a little more than friends during the time you were with your ex and the time you were friends with your now b/f?

 

And how long had it been since your b/f was left by his ex and the time you two got together in a romantic way?

 

There seems to be a lot of good here but I'd like to know more.

 

What's the best parts of your relationship and what are the worst parts?

 

Does he want what you want regarding marriage and family? Have you even discussed that?

 

If you can answer all of the above, I will weigh in.

 

 

-I had been wanting to end things for a few months before I finally ended it. I started seeing my bf about 3 months after.

 

-We met on campus when he was on duty. We both were regulars at a coffee joint where I'd see him in the mornings sometimes and he would say good morning, etc to me there. It took me a while until I started having conversations with him to the point where we exchanged phone numbers and agreed to go out for a coffee date. We quickly became friends and he knew that I was in a relationship, that was fine with me- my ex knew I had made a new friend and hung out with him sometimes. I admit that I had a crush on my current boyfriend but we kept it strictly platonic until after I broke up with my ex that he told me he liked me. But because of the recent break up, we decided to take it slow.

 

-I would say probably at least 3 years now.

 

-The best part? Oh, I could just go on. I brought him to my parents house for dinner last night and it went wonderfully- we all laughed and joked together. I was pretty nervous, but it went very well and I was proud to have him over to meet my family. We talk about everything from politics to cooking, it doesn't get boring when we're doing nothing but watching tv. We make each other smile and laugh, when we part ways we kiss and hug as if we don't want to let go and when we see each other again, we kiss and hug as if we don't want to let go either Last night, he said, "You must love me to bring me over to your parents house for dinner even if you don't say it to me yet." I came back with, "(lol) You must love me to have come with me to my parents house."

 

He shrugged and said, "Nah, I came for the steak." It was pretty funny, I gave him a mock shocked look and he went, "Oh, oh, I'm kidding, you know I do!" It's really fun with him and I love that about him Ok, I'll stop!

 

The worst part? I tend to avoid confrontations and he's big on that, not in a bad way, but he will force you to talk about issues right there. That's something that I'm learning now, that I can't bury my head in the sand thanks to him, that it's better to talk about things and nip it in the bud before it snowballs. I wouldn't say it's the worst part because it's getting better, and I'm learning how to be okay when we have confrontations. I would say right now that we would love to see each other more but it's difficult with our schedules. We worry about each other when we're on our jobs as we both get put into dangerous situations, so that's that also. We always text each other when we get home from work though, so that we know the other's home safe. I don't think that's really that bad, it's the only thing I can really think of.

 

-Somewhat, I know he wants to settle down. He moved from Ottawa a couple of years ago and mentioned that he wouldn't mind moving back, but that would change if he had a wife and kids. I've told him I want to get married, travel and have kids eventually, not right now because I want to work on my career first and so on. We have similiar goals and views on what we want later in life, it's just a question of when, I suppose, and we're not in a hurry

[JamesM]

I got a PM over the weekend with the same "playing god" message as you probably saw at the beginning of this thread.

 

Again, for those who still think I'm "playing god"...this was supposed to be a thread to help people really look at their relationships. It's not even just for those who post seeking assessments.

 

How is my starting a thread like this "playing god?" Especially since I didn't even state that I'd be the only one weighing in..I welcome everyone to do so.

 

So in view of that stupid PM and the odd comment or two on here, I do appreciate your comments.

 

My comments are that you are giving opinions as we all do...and especially as the poster who PMed you does. The ironic thing is that we all post threads here LOOKING for advice from others, and in the process we can expect that they will give their opinions as if they are the only possible thing we should do in our lives...hence, we all "play god" in some sense of the word.

 

Just as "Dear Abby" or Dear Ann" columns give advice as if it is the final word, so it is okay that you give your opinion on what relationship will survive or not survive.

 

Question...you may have said it, but what does VIABLE mean to you? And if it includes the word happy, what does that mean? And is a relationship happy if it has ups and downs?

 

As I said before and in line with your being told you are playing god, if individuals are basing the future of their relationship on your opinions only, then it is not you who has the problem and insecurity about the relationship...it is they. Yet if (as I said before and you have, too) it causes a few to examine what the future may hold for their relationship, then this is good.

 

Too many assume "we will live happily ever after" because today looks pretty good, and then they are surprised when the marriage ends in divorce.

 

We may not always agree, Touche, but on this thread we agree...it is a good thing no matter who gives the advice.

[Art_Critic]

on this thread we agree...it is a good thing no matter who gives the advice.

 

Touche is also breeding the good feeling of positivity.. Which by the way the person who PM'd Touche was breeding negativity.. the opposite of the nature of this feel good thread.

All introspection or examination of our relationships is positive.. even if the negative is shown to us.

 

I find it hard to believe that someone would be arrogant enough to PM someone and call her out on being GOD.. how funny...

That is like someone calling a poster out for name calling while calling them a name.. hahahaha

[Touche]

My comments are that you are giving opinions as we all do...and especially as the poster who PMed you does. The ironic thing is that we all post threads here LOOKING for advice from others, and in the process we can expect that they will give their opinions as if they are the only possible thing we should do in our lives...hence, we all "play god" in some sense of the word.

 

Just as "Dear Abby" or Dear Ann" columns give advice as if it is the final word, so it is okay that you give your opinion on what relationship will survive or not survive.

 

Question...you may have said it, but what does VIABLE mean to you? And if it includes the word happy, what does that mean? And is a relationship happy if it has ups and downs?

 

As I said before and in line with your being told you are playing god, if individuals are basing the future of their relationship on your opinions only, then it is not you who has the problem and insecurity about the relationship...it is they. Yet if (as I said before and you have, too) it causes a few to examine what the future may hold for their relationship, then this is good.

 

Too many assume "we will live happily ever after" because today looks pretty good, and then they are surprised when the marriage ends in divorce.

 

We may not always agree, Touche, but on this thread we agree...it is a good thing no matter who gives the advice.

 

Thanks so much James. And of course no one should base what they do on any ONE person's opinion/assessment. That would be foolish.

 

As to the question in bold. Good question. To me it means that the relationship is capable of long-term happiness. And of course that means being able to handle the ups and downs in successful way.

 

The key is HOW you get through and navigate the ups and downs. And also, I think it's important that the "ups" outweigh the "downs."

 

You're so right about the "happily ever part." It's easy to get along great during the honeymoon phase. But that doesn't last forever. After that, you have to still be able to be each other's best friend and to still love each other and manage whatever life throws at you.

 

I think in large part, and many don't like my saying this, that's not only a matter of compatibility but maturity as well.

 

Granted, some of us do mature before others do. I was a very immature in my 20's and nowhere near ready for marriage. With others, it's not really the case. I do recognize that. But again, if I'm going by probabilities and statistics, MOST are not ready for marriage in their 20's.

 

But anyway, thanks so much James. I do appreciate your comments.

[Touche]

Burning, sorry if I missed it but how long have you been officially seeing each other as a couple?

[Touche]

Agreed. Or, perhaps, like BEING an asswipe while calling someone one?

 

I know. Seriously.

 

Thanks so much AC!

[keechie]

May I try?

 

I'm 25, and he will be 31 in about 3 months. We've been together for almost 2 1/2 years. I was in a 6 year relationship with a guy who was my high school sweetheart, but that ended when I was 21, which was about a couple years before I met my current boyfriend. I am the longest relationship my boyfriend has ever had, and prior to me, he had things that never lasted past about 2 months. He told me that he just wasn't into them, and he didn't want to waste their time.

 

We came close to breaking up once last summer, and after the horrible blow-out fight we had, we both learned how to communicate better. We get into small spats here and there like any couple, but breaking up has never really been an option since then.

 

About the time we hit our 2 year anniversary last fall, I sort of got bitten by the marriage bug, and I started to wonder where this was heading. I talked to him about it just to gauge his feelings on the topic, (which was actually my very first post here on LS), and he told me that he could see us married within the next 5 years, and that he thought 3 years was enough time to know. We haven't really talked about it since then, (which I don't know if that's a good or bad thing), but he has asked in passing where we'd go on a honeymoon or what church we could have a wedding at. I don't really bring up the topic too much, because if he thinks we should have 3 years under our belts before he were to propose, then I trust him, and I would just rather enjoy what we've got in the meantime. I guess my only big concern is that he'll never ask and I'll find that I'm in a 10 year relationship going nowhere.

 

Hmm... the other major thing is that he has suggested moving in together when my lease is up in July. I haven't given him an official answer yet though. We do spend pretty much every night together though, whether it's at his or my place. We also share a car and usually have dinner together, whether it's out or at my place. We're also pretty close with each other's families.

 

Haha, that was a lot! Thanks!

[melodymatters]

Ok everybody, I'm the horrible person who Pm-ed touche this weekend. To put it in context, she had basically taken over the "show your pics" thread and was telling everybody THERE whether their appearence was "viable" enough. I stated that while she had that right on HER thread, I thought being insulting and nasty to people on THAT thread was cruel and innapropriate.

 

It started because there was a pic of someone that showed part of a shoulder and her face and touche started telling her she needed to lose weight. Others, including Citizen erased called her out for being cruel and judgemental on THAT THREAD. When I wrote a two sentence post saying " are we even looking at the same pic ?", she responded with something along the lines of " you look hot mel....for a high priced call girl"

 

So instead of taking it to the boards, I wrote her a PM saying I thought she was being a b*tch on THAT THREAD, and that she should save her "playing god" attitude for HER thread. And, that I thought woman were being pounded enough these days for not being media perfect, and that as a woman and mother of a daughter I hated to see that sort of mentality.

 

After her Pm back, I was going to apologise and say that I had had a pretty rough day and was probably being oversensitive, but in light of the fact that she's getting so much play out of it, I'll just let it ride.....

[Art_Critic]

Agreed. Or, perhaps, like BEING an asswipe while calling someone one?

 

Touche... thanks for that DM ..

[Touche]

May I try?

 

I'm 25, and he will be 31 in about 3 months. We've been together for almost 2 1/2 years. I was in a 6 year relationship with a guy who was my high school sweetheart, but that ended when I was 21, which was about a couple years before I met my current boyfriend. I am the longest relationship my boyfriend has ever had, and prior to me, he had things that never lasted past about 2 months. He told me that he just wasn't into them, and he didn't want to waste their time.

 

We came close to breaking up once last summer, and after the horrible blow-out fight we had, we both learned how to communicate better. We get into small spats here and there like any couple, but breaking up has never really been an option since then.

 

How are the small spats resolved? Is there any "silent treatment" or name-calling involved?

 

About the time we hit our 2 year anniversary last fall, I sort of got bitten by the marriage bug, and I started to wonder where this was heading. I talked to him about it just to gauge his feelings on the topic, (which was actually my very first post here on LS), and he told me that he could see us married within the next 5 years, and that he thought 3 years was enough time to know. We haven't really talked about it since then, (which I don't know if that's a good or bad thing), but he has asked in passing where we'd go on a honeymoon or what church we could have a wedding at. I don't really bring up the topic too much, because if he thinks we should have 3 years under our belts before he were to propose, then I trust him, and I would just rather enjoy what we've got in the meantime. I guess my only big concern is that he'll never ask and I'll find that I'm in a 10 year relationship going nowhere.

 

The only way you'll be in a 10 year relationship that's not "going anywhere" is if YOU let that happen. If marriage is what you're looking for, then you need to have a time table in mind. You seem willing to wait until the 3 year mark. So do that and then see. If you get engaged without a date in mind, I'd be wary though.

 

Hmm... the other major thing is that he has suggested moving in together when my lease is up in July. I haven't given him an official answer yet though. We do spend pretty much every night together though, whether it's at his or my place. We also share a car and usually have dinner together, whether it's out or at my place. We're also pretty close with each other's families.

 

Haha, that was a lot! Thanks!

 

Why haven't you given him an answer about moving in with him in July?

 

I'll weigh in if you can answer some of those questions.

 

Oh and, you're welcome.

[Touche]

Touche... thanks for that DM ..

 

What's a DM?

 

Melody...there was more to my comment on that thread. There was some bacground you weren't aware of. I already addressed it with the person in question and we're good.

 

As for you, you mistook my comments. It was a joke based on your very own comments.

 

This is all off-topic on THIS thread. I don't want to have to report this so please. You had your say...and unless you have something POSITIVE to contribute (that's on topic) , you don't need to post here again.

 

Thanks and your cooperation is appreciated.

[keechie]

How are the small spats resolved? Is there any "silent treatment" or name-calling involved?

 

 

 

The only way you'll be in a 10 year relationship that's not "going anywhere" is if YOU let that happen. If marriage is what you're looking for, then you need to have a time table in mind. You seem willing to wait until the 3 year mark. So do that and then see. If you get engaged without a date in mind, I'd be wary though.

 

 

Why haven't you given him an answer about moving in with him in July?

 

I'll weigh in if you can answer some of those questions.

 

Oh and, you're welcome.

 

1. There used to be some silent treatment on my end, but I have learned to cut that out because it gets nowhere, and it was incredibly childish of me. As for name calling, there isn't usually, but if something slips out, we inevitably end up apologizing for it. Our spats are usually over dumb things, and most of the time we end up laughing at how stupid we're being.

 

2. You're right about the relationship-going-nowhere fear. I definitely will wait until the 3 year mark, and after that, I'll probably evaluate how things are going and see. I know the fear is irrational to some degree, and I blame it on my turning 26 this year and coming ever closer to 30, (which is also pretty irrational, I realize, which is why I try to be as realistic as I can to keep myself in check.)

 

3. I haven't given him an answer about living with him yet because I'm not sure what I want. I can most definitely see myself living with him and enjoying it, and I know that we could make it work, since we spend every day together, and we plan our daily life around each other, (but not in a stifling way), and living together would in some ways actually make things MUCH easier. I guess my doubts stem from seeing both of my best friends' relationships fall apart after moving in with their boyfriends. I realize that their relationships are not the same as mine, and both of them moved in with their guys after no more than a year of dating, but I guess I just want to make sure. I value having my own space very much (and even if I spend every night with him, having the option of having my apartment to myself is nice), and I want to really know for sure that our relationship is really going to last before I commit my space and myself financially to someone.

 

Haha, I guess I just need to really weigh all the pros and cons until I'm satisfied that it's the right decision. I always take my time with big decisions, and he only asked me last week. He was fine when I told him I needed to think about it.

[burningashes]

Burning, sorry if I missed it but how long have you been officially seeing each other as a couple?

 

No problem. It'll be nearly 3 months of being official, I thought I mentioned that in my posts but when I re read them, I didn't, sorry!

[Touche]

1. There used to be some silent treatment on my end, but I have learned to cut that out because it gets nowhere, and it was incredibly childish of me. As for name calling, there isn't usually, but if something slips out, we inevitably end up apologizing for it. Our spats are usually over dumb things, and most of the time we end up laughing at how stupid we're being.

 

2. You're right about the relationship-going-nowhere fear. I definitely will wait until the 3 year mark, and after that, I'll probably evaluate how things are going and see. I know the fear is irrational to some degree, and I blame it on my turning 26 this year and coming ever closer to 30, (which is also pretty irrational, I realize, which is why I try to be as realistic as I can to keep myself in check.)

 

3. I haven't given him an answer about living with him yet because I'm not sure what I want. I can most definitely see myself living with him and enjoying it, and I know that we could make it work, since we spend every day together, and we plan our daily life around each other, (but not in a stifling way), and living together would in some ways actually make things MUCH easier. I guess my doubts stem from seeing both of my best friends' relationships fall apart after moving in with their boyfriends. I realize that their relationships are not the same as mine, and both of them moved in with their guys after no more than a year of dating, but I guess I just want to make sure. I value having my own space very much (and even if I spend every night with him, having the option of having my apartment to myself is nice), and I want to really know for sure that our relationship is really going to last before I commit my space and myself financially to someone.

 

Haha, I guess I just need to really weigh all the pros and cons until I'm satisfied that it's the right decision. I always take my time with big decisions, and he only asked me last week. He was fine when I told him I needed to think about it.

 

Keechie, you're not going to like what I have to say but I'm not seeing viable here.

 

It's worth thinking about why you're so sure you want to become engaged but you seem less sure about moving in with him. I think you should really listen to your GUT here.

 

That, and some other things, tell me this is NOT VIABLE. I have a feeling that if you do move in with him, it won't work out.

 

And remember that the reasons that your friends' relationships fell apart after moving in together have nothing to do with the fact that they moved in together. See what I mean? It's just that everything that wasn't right before living together became even more obvious AFTER.

 

I'm sorry...just not feeling good about this one.

[Touche]

No problem. It'll be nearly 3 months of being official, I thought I mentioned that in my posts but when I re read them, I didn't, sorry!

 

Ok. Hmmmm, I'm going to have to say TOO CLOSE TO CALL on this one, burning. I think you need more time together. I'm not getting the sense that you really know what you're both all about yet. Naturally I can be wrong but that's what my sense is telling me on this one.

 

You sure do have a lot of positives though. I think a little more tell will tell.

 

You two should also stop dancing around the fact that you love each other you know?

[keechie]

Keechie, you're not going to like what I have to say but I'm not seeing viable here.

 

It's worth thinking about why you're so sure you want to become engaged but you seem less sure about moving in with him. I think you should really listen to your GUT here.

 

That, and some other things, tell me this is NOT VIABLE. I have a feeling that if you do move in with him, it won't work out.

 

And remember that the reasons that your friends' relationships fell apart after moving in together have nothing to do with the fact that they moved in together. See what I mean? It's just that everything that wasn't right before living together became even more obvious AFTER.

 

I'm sorry...just not feeling good about this one.

 

 

Hmm... well thank you! This is definitely something to think about.

 

I should have gone more in depth about my reservations on moving in with him. The thing that is most confusing to me is that my gut really is telling me that living with him would be a good thing, but it feels like my more logical side is telling me to wait it out, based on what I've seen, which I realize is illogical to begin with. Haha, this makes no sense! I guess I mean to say that my gut has a really good feeling about him overall, but it also feels like I'm just not yet ready to live with him. Maybe I'm more traditional than I thought, and I'd feel much more comfortable moving in with him after being at least engaged to him. I am from a traditional family with a traditonal religion, (Armenian Orthodox). He's from a traditional family as well, (his family is Lutheran), and I know he'd have reservations about letting his family know we were living together (in sin! lol)... which I guess is weird that he'd ask. It's like, I would LOVE living with him, but I don't want to have to hide it from our families. That's the biggest thing. In fact, now that I'm really thinking about it, it is THE thing.

 

The other thing is that we're both graduate students, and he's finishing his last semester this Fall, which would make an apartment search and a move during the summer kind of inconvenient, it would just be wiser to wait.

 

Can you tell me what the other things are that you mentioned that make you think NOT VIABLE?

 

Anyway, I do appreciate this. I like having somebody's unbiased opinion, even if it may not be what I want to hear.

[Touche]

Hmm... well thank you! This is definitely something to think about.

 

I should have gone more in depth about my reservations on moving in with him. The thing that is most confusing to me is that my gut really is telling me that living with him would be a good thing, but it feels like my more logical side is telling me to wait it out, based on what I've seen, which I realize is illogical to begin with. Haha, this makes no sense! I guess I mean to say that my gut has a really good feeling about him overall, but it also feels like I'm just not yet ready to live with him. Maybe I'm more traditional than I thought, and I'd feel much more comfortable moving in with him after being at least engaged to him. I am from a traditional family with a traditonal religion, (Armenian Orthodox). He's from a traditional family as well, (his family is Lutheran), and I know he'd have reservations about letting his family know we were living together (in sin! lol)... which I guess is weird that he'd ask. It's like, I would LOVE living with him, but I don't want to have to hide it from our families. That's the biggest thing. In fact, now that I'm really thinking about it, it is THE thing.

 

The other thing is that we're both graduate students, and he's finishing his last semester this Fall, which would make an apartment search and a move during the summer kind of inconvenient, it would just be wiser to wait.

 

Can you tell me what the other things are that you mentioned that make you think NOT VIABLE?

 

Anyway, I do appreciate this. I like having somebody's unbiased opinion, even if it may not be what I want to hear.

 

No problem Keech.

 

Well, I guess I'm not getting the feeling that you're ready. At this point, your parents concerns shouldn't be a big issue. You're both adults.

 

You've given a few reasons why you don't feel ready to move in with him:

 

1. traditional values

2. what would the parents think

3. apartment search incovenient

 

etc. etc. The fact that you think you'd have to hide your living together from your parents concerns me. You're an adult now.

 

But look at your number 3 in your other post when you explained about not giving him an answer about living together. Nowhere did you mention any of the above. You had a whole other set of reasons.

 

You're really not ready for marriage. And I wonder if you're really ready for anything long-term now. Earlier you were talking about how nice it is having your own space (own apt.) You also mention that you want to really make sure it lasts first.

 

But you want to be engaged.

 

See what I'm saying? You're kind of all over the place in your thinking. This isn't the mentality of someone ready for marriage or anything really long-term.

 

I think you still have some growing up to do. Dating others wouldn't hurt.

 

Although you take responsibility for the silent treatment, it's a red flag...even if, as you say, you don't do that anymore.

 

The spats over nothing and the occasional name-calling are red flags too.

 

I'm being honest. I just am not seeing this as being viable in the long-term.

[Shygirl15]

Heck, well.. so here I go.

 

Dumped the BF, on board with a new guy.

 

Relationship is 3 weeks old.

 

Decided to become exclusive on 1st date. Said our I love yous by 4th date. So far no drama. Met some of his friends. He has met my sister and few other friends. In the past 3 weeks, we have already talked of future, and being together. He can't have kids of his own, open to adopt mine. His 1st interracial relationship, my 1st interracial relationship.

 

Dinner date tonite.

 

How does it look, Ms. Touche? Moving too fast? Average? Any useful advice?

 

PS: Not intimate yet. Maybe tonite

[Touche]

Heck, well.. so here I go.

 

Dumped the BF, on board with a new guy.

 

Relationship is 3 weeks old.

 

Decided to become exclusive on 1st date. Said our I love yous by 4th date. So far no drama. Met some of his friends. He has met my sister and few other friends. In the past 3 weeks, we have already talked of future, and being together. He can't have kids of his own, open to adopt mine. His 1st interracial relationship, my 1st interracial relationship.

 

Dinner date tonite.

 

How does it look, Ms. Touche? Moving too fast? Average? Any useful advice?

 

PS: Not intimate yet. Maybe tonite

 

Wow! What a whirlwind! I didn't know your story. And hey, I'm no one to talk about moving too fast.

 

Ok, give me more. How old are you both?

 

The interracial thing shouldn't be an issue unless it will cause family problems. Then it can be.

 

Have you even had your first argument yet? I'm impressed that you haven't slept together yet.

 

Tell me a bit more though...what's the best and worst about him.

[Star Gazer]

To put it in context, she had basically taken over the "show your pics" thread and was telling everybody THERE whether their appearence was "viable" enough. I stated that while she had that right on HER thread, I thought being insulting and nasty to people on THAT thread was cruel and innapropriate.

 

It started because there was a pic of someone that showed part of a shoulder and her face and touche started telling her she needed to lose weight. Others, including Citizen erased called her out for being cruel and judgemental on THAT THREAD. When I wrote a two sentence post saying " are we even looking at the same pic ?", she responded with something along the lines of " you look hot mel....for a high priced call girl"

 

Is that true???

[Touche]

Is that true???

 

No, she twisted things. I never said anything about people's looks and whether they were "viable"...total fabrication. As to the rest I've said what I had to say in my other post.

 

Please don't take this off-topic. I'm not commenting on any of that anymore. It has zero to do with this thread. Thanks.

[Shygirl15]

No, I do not know his worst just yet.

 

He's like a dream come true. Okay, I know we are still in a honeymoon period but he appears to be a really nice and genuine guy. He's 38 and I'm 32. Him and I were both married for 7 years, and both divorced a year ago. Not even a single argument so far, we talk/text all the time, and meet everyday for lunch.

 

Yeah, well nothing much to say about us since we're just 3 weeks old, but some of our friends appear to think we're moving too fast. My friends think I should be concerned as to why he wanted exclusivity that early on, and talked of marriage that soon.

 

Oh, the interracial thing is likely not going to make his parents too happy, he says, but also says they have never interfered with his decisions in the past.

[Touche]

No, I do not know his worst just yet.

 

He's like a dream come true. Okay, I know we are still in a honeymoon period but he appears to be a really nice and genuine guy. He's 38 and I'm 32. Him and I were both married for 7 years, and both divorced a year ago. Not even a single argument so far, we talk/text all the time, and meet everyday for lunch.

 

Yeah, well nothing much to say about us since we're just 3 weeks old, but some of our friends appear to think we're moving too fast. My friends think I should be concerned as to why he wanted exclusivity that early on, and talked of marriage that soon.

 

Oh, the interracial thing is likely not going to make his parents too happy, he says, but also says they have never interfered with his decisions in the past.

 

Yeah, they say that can be a sign of a controlling and possibly abusive nature. (the bolded part above). Just keep your eyes open. It doesn't necessarily mean that.

 

Sounds promising...not enough to really call it yet though. I would think you'd both know what you want by now being that you're in your 30's and have a divorce each behind you.

 

I lean towards viable with the little I do know though.

 

Hey, report back every now and then. Good luck tonight!

 

As for those who want to stir the pot on here, I'm really getting fed up with it. I'm putting everyone who continues to engage in it on ignore. I will not respond to it.

 

Go post on the off-topic thread, please.