treyfan88 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Hi Sunshine. Sounds good to me. I'm going to say VIABLE. :)You both seem to have a lot going for you and you sound quite compatible. Good luck! Trey, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. I'm playing on LS in between work. Yours is still a tough one for me and I'm not sure I can call it. I'll read over everything again and weigh in as soon as I can, ok? But let me remind everyone that others are welcome to weigh in as well. No problem. Get to it when you get to it. Anyone else listening in can chime in at anytime. I don't mind. Let me update though. It sounds like we're a completely sexless/unaffectionate couple from what I wrote--which isn't true at all! We can't keep our hands off of each other--it's just the sex act itself that we have problems with. Specifically penetration--we have no problems with oral/toys/hands etc. During sex I usually freak myself out--which then freaks him out--and then the whole exercise is ruined, lol. I've come a LONG way though. I was really...messed up. I tried to sabotage our relationship a few times in the beginning. Trust issues. He's understanding and careful enough to work with me on all of my issues without giving up on me. At 17 when we first met online, I was severely depressed...nearly suicidal. Now I feel healthier and happier, almost like a new person. But these things really do take time. Hehe, I'm just the sort of person who wants to do things quickly. Anyways, I spoke to my bf about what I wrote yesterday. It was really nice. We both discussed it--and we're going to take the whole sexual thing at MY pace. If I get scared we'll stop and not force it. I say I'm ready--but perhaps I'm not quite there yet. Anyways, we'll try it by ear like we've been doing all along. Thanks for reading. I'm curious to see the "results" of the weigh-in. Link to post Share on other sites
Sunshine11 Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 Hi Sunshine. Sounds good to me. I'm going to say VIABLE. :)You both seem to have a lot going for you and you sound quite compatible. Good luck! Trey, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. I'm playing on LS in between work. Yours is still a tough one for me and I'm not sure I can call it. I'll read over everything again and weigh in as soon as I can, ok? But let me remind everyone that others are welcome to weigh in as well. Thanks for your input Touche--much appreciated! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted April 3, 2009 Author Share Posted April 3, 2009 Sunshine, you're welcome! Trey, I think you two will be together for awhile but not for the rest of your lives or anything. He's but a chapter in your life. So, I'll say VIABLE but leaning towards the more short-term here...3 to 5 years max. Link to post Share on other sites
treyfan88 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Sunshine, you're welcome! Trey, I think you two will be together for awhile but not for the rest of your lives or anything. He's but a chapter in your life. So, I'll say VIABLE but leaning towards the more short-term here...3 to 5 years max. I figured you'd say something along those lines. Thanks! I'm happily looking forward to proving you wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted April 10, 2009 Author Share Posted April 10, 2009 Well I hope I AM wrong, Trey...and not to bring the age issue up again, but you are 20. By the time, you're mid to late 20's you'll be a different person if you're like most of us. But maybe you'll grow together. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 So have any of my "NOT VIABLE" people broken up yet? How about my "VIABLE" ones? How are you all doing? Let's hear from you! I'm also open to weighing in on any who care to post. If I don't get back to you right away, I promise I eventually will. And for those who think I'm full of shyt, no need to post or read this thread. So who is next? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 So who is next? Touche I would. But seeing you were the one who said call when everyone else said don't when I was missing him says you knew something then. Right? So you knew then. And that was 2006! And now it's 2009! and 6 and 9 make 69 and I still have a dirty mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 Touche I would. But seeing you were the one who said call when everyone else said don't when I was missing him says you knew something then. Right? So you knew then. And that was 2006! And now it's 2009! and 6 and 9 make 69 and I still have a dirty mind. Ok, so I'm confused, Amay. Are you still with him? Did I call it right? 69, can't be bad. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 I'm still with my SO and very much in love. Though he did tell me I had stinky feet the other day I think we are going to elope soon. We toyed around with doing it this weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Ok, so I'm confused, Amay. Are you still with him? Did I call it right? Yes we're still together. Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 I'm still with my SO and very much in love. Though he did tell me I had stinky feet the other day I think we are going to elope soon. We toyed around with doing it this weekend. As long as it's not Vegas? Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 As long as it's not Vegas? Either Tahoe or San Francisco City Hall Link to post Share on other sites
boldjack Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 At x-mas I would have said the long-haul, now I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 At x-mas I would have said the long-haul, now I don't know. What changed? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 I'm still with my SO and very much in love. Though he did tell me I had stinky feet the other day I think we are going to elope soon. We toyed around with doing it this weekend. If you're still together after the stinky feet comment, you'll make it. Yes we're still together. I knew it! YAY!!!! Either Tahoe or San Francisco City Hall Are you really eloping? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 At x-mas I would have said the long-haul, now I don't know. Yes, Allina asked a good question, what changed? Have I weighed in on your relationship? I don't remember. If not do you want me to? Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Are you really eloping? We are very seriously considering it. My parents are cool with it but I know that his mom will be very hurt/angry if we do which bothers me. We wan to be married already, we want those vows. Because we're buying our dream home we he can't afford my dream ring right now and we can't afford a wedding. Plus we've been living together as family, knowing that we're forever for a while now, a fancy wedding would be weird. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 We are very seriously considering it. My parents are cool with it but I know that his mom will be very hurt/angry if we do which bothers me. We wan to be married already, we want those vows. Because we're buying our dream home we he can't afford my dream ring right now and we can't afford a wedding. Plus we've been living together as family, knowing that we're forever for a while now, a fancy wedding would be weird. If his parents have a problem with it then let them pay for the wedding, otherwise it's both of YOUR decisions...not theirs. Frankly, if you were my daughter (and you're young enough to be:eek: ) I'd applaud your decision for being so fiscally responsible and to reward that I'd throw a big party in both your honors...a wedding reception if you will. You both need to do what feels right to the two of you without worrying about the parents. Trust me, in the end they'll support you both. They're not going to disown you or anything. If anything they'll have more respect for you for making your own decisions as adults. Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 If his parents have a problem with it then let them pay for the wedding, otherwise it's both of YOUR decisions...not theirs. Frankly, if you were my daughter (and you're young enough to be:eek: ) I'd applaud your decision for being so fiscally responsible and to reward that I'd throw a big party in both your honors...a wedding reception if you will. You both need to do what feels right to the two of you without worrying about the parents. Trust me, in the end they'll support you both. They're not going to disown you or anything. If anything they'll have more respect for you for making your own decisions as adults. I absolutely agree. The thing is that his parents are wonderful and I care about them. Both sets of parents actually helped us with the down payment for a house in addition to what we had. I feel like his parents, like mine have always been behind us 100%. So if it means a lot to his mom to see her oldest son get married then I don't want to take that away from her. If we weren't considering anyone else in the decision then yeah, our choice would be to run off and elope this month, but it also won't hurt us to wait. I'm still not sure what we're going to do. We're definitely going to be either engaged or married before 2009 ends so it's all good Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 I absolutely agree. The thing is that his parents are wonderful and I care about them. Both sets of parents actually helped us with the down payment for a house in addition to what we had. I feel like his parents, like mine have always been behind us 100%. So if it means a lot to his mom to see her oldest son get married then I don't want to take that away from her. If we weren't considering anyone else in the decision then yeah, our choice would be to run off and elope this month, but it also won't hurt us to wait. I'm still not sure what we're going to do. We're definitely going to be either engaged or married before 2009 ends so it's all good That's the kicker then...the minute you accept money from others, family or otherwise, you feel indebted. I understand that. In that context then, I totally see your point, Allina. And you're right to take their feelings (or his mother's feelings) under consideration. I totally see that. Me personally, I would have rejected the help on that downpayment. But that's just stubborn me. I don't like to have others dictate the important decisions in my life. No way. And trust me, I'm not putting you down for accepting their help but yeah...now you really have to take their feelings into consideration. There are always strings attached aren't there? You're wise, Allina. You two are together anyway, no sense in starting off on a bad foot with his parents who have supported you. So given the context I agree with you. Be engaged before the end of the year if that's what you want but plan a wedding that includes your families. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant you know. Have you heard my stupid theory about extravagant weddings? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Plus we've been living together as family, knowing that we're forever for a while now, a fancy wedding would be weird. being married is a totally different can of worms than living together. actually many couples who have lived together fine for years and years end up divorcing fairly quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted April 20, 2009 Author Share Posted April 20, 2009 being married is a totally different can of worms than living together. actually many couples who have lived together fine for years and years end up divorcing fairly quickly. Couldn't disagree more. No relevance at all. Trust me...couples who have lived together "fine" for years and years as you say and then get married only to divorce, were NOT living just "fine" before that. No way. No how. I should know. Been there, done that. Nope. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Couldn't disagree more. No relevance at all. Trust me...couples who have lived together "fine" for years and years as you say and then get married only to divorce, were NOT living just "fine" before that. No way. No how. I should know. Been there, done that. Nope. thats total baloney. once it becomes "legal" and gets harder to leave then it totally changes the dynamics of the relationship. as a matter of fact the divorce rate is higher for those who lived together before gettin' married. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 once it becomes "legal" and gets harder to leave then it totally changes the dynamics of the relationship. Only for someone who was having commitment issues to begin with.. I never felt that being married made it harder to leave... committed is committed whether it is living together or married. It might very well cost more to end a marriage than a live in relationship unless kids are involved but money doesn't generally keep people in a relationship to begin with anyhow. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 Only for someone who was having commitment issues to begin with... a couple thats been living together for 5 or 10 yrs does have commitment issues. most people who end up gettin married do so within a year or two of meeting. if i recall correctly even you got married pretty quick... Link to post Share on other sites
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