Is Your Relationship Viable For the Long-Term or Will it be Short-Lived?

[Trialbyfire]

Well, no one on here knows them from Adam so what difference would it make if they "falsely ascribed" the behavior to STR guy or any other guy for that matter? That was my point. But with your LDR they do know who you were referring to.

 

You should have left it at this though :

 

That's a good point.

 

I added that point for your reference but didn't think about the regulars.

 

I can respect that, TBF.

Look Touche. The reference was added for your benefit. You know "of" many that I've previously discussed with you, off LS. That's why the reference to the assorted other dates. I've previously posted about the STR guy on LS, with an expiry date.

 

You're seeing more than was intended. But, you're right, I wasn't thinking about the regulars linking A to B, since I've previous posted about one LD thing and not multiples of them.

[Touche]

Look Touche. The reference was added for your benefit. You know "of" many that I've previously discussed with you, off LS. That's why the reference to the assorted other dates. I've previously posted about the STR guy on LS, with an expiry date.

 

You're seeing more than was intended. But, you're right, I wasn't thinking about the regulars linking A to B, since I've previous posted about one LD thing and not multiples of them.

 

Wow, I really didn't want this to turn into this.

 

When I first called you on your misstep on my thread I knew you were going to make excuses and give a million reasons why you posted as you did. I was bracing myself for the "fallout."

 

You just did it again above. Even to the point of telling me that I'm seeing more than was intended..placing this all on me instead of on you where it belongs. Along the lines of: "You're right BUT you're seeing more than was intended...etc. etc. " Would it be so bad to just leave it at that I was right? Because everything you say after that, just negates what you said before.

 

When you first responded with "that's a good point" I was floored. I really thought "wow, she's changed..she can admit when she was wrong now and show some humility."

 

But then all the expected justifications and excuses came in the next paragraph and I was disappointed.

 

Why not just leave it at that you didn't mean to post that way. That's what you were saying but now you're saying that I took it wrong.

 

I don't want to get into a pissing match as I said.

 

I heard you, you heard me. Let's drop it.

 

I still think you have much to contribute to the thread...the rest doesn't matter now. I've made my point as you have.

[Trialbyfire]

I've already admitted to the portion that was true. Can't help it if you're stuck in one mindset, ascribing behaviours to me that weren't intended. This is your flaw, so you should learn to eat your portion. You're...wrong.

 

I'm done with your thread. Good luck.

[Touche]

I've already admitted to the portion that was true. Can't help it if you're stuck in one mindset, ascribing behaviours to me that weren't intended. This is your flaw, so you should learn to eat your portion. You're...wrong.

 

I'm done with your thread. Good luck.

 

Wow, so not good TBF. Again, you should have left it at that you were wrong. Your admittance ran shallow and false when you tried to justify it in the next sentence.

 

I hope you don't do this with your fiance'. I sincerely hope this doesn't reflect the way in which you resolve differences with him.

 

What behaviors have I ascribed to you that weren't intended? The bit about the LD thing? Ok, fine. If you say so, but why keep putting it on me instead of admitting that it was wrong for you to mention it in the first place and letting it go at that?

 

You got the first part of that equation right (admitting it was wrong) but you need to work on the second part (letting it go at that.)

 

Thanks for the luck, but I don't need it.

 

If you choose not to contribute here anymore, I'll understand. It's certainly your choice.

[Trialbyfire]

Wow, so not good TBF. Again, you should have left it at that you were wrong. Your admittance ran shallow and false when you tried to justify it in the next sentence.

 

I hope you don't do this with your fiance'. I sincerely hope this doesn't reflect the way in which you resolve differences with him.

 

What behaviors have I ascribed to you that weren't intended? The bit about the LD thing? Ok, fine. If you say so, but why keep putting it on me instead of admitting that it was wrong for you to mention it in the first place and letting it go at that?

 

You got the first part of that equation right (admitting it was wrong) but you need to work on the second part (letting it go at that.)

 

Thanks for the luck, but I don't need it.

 

If you choose not to contribute here anymore, I'll understand. It's certainly your choice.

Touche, as you've admitted in your opening post, you're not god. You cannot read people's minds, you can only guess.

 

I admitted to the portion I own. Now, it's time for you to admit to the portion you own. That's part of de-escalation.

 

The hell I'm going to roll over and eat something, that wasn't intended the way you've posted it. Go back and read it again, from where it began.

 

As for using this as a way to target my interactions with my fiancé, he eats what he owns and I eat what I own. If that's not the way you and your husband do it, where he rolls over all the time, that's not the type of relationship I would ever consider having with anyone.

[Touche]

Ok, let me put it to you this way:

 

Let's pretend that I really believed that and that you never considered that the regulars would read what you said and know who you were talking about.

 

I'm quite sure it occurred to you that the person in question would maybe read it, didn't you? Or are you saying that that never entered your mind either?

 

I do eat what I own when there's something for me to actually EAT. I would do it with you as I do with H. But even you already said I was right....before backpedaling. Later you said I was wrong.

 

So which is it? I can't be both.

[amerikajin]

I'm in a relationship but I'm frankly not looking for anyone's input as to whether or not it's viable. My hunch is that people in the know can make an educated guess about the long-term odds of a relationship if they know enough about the dynamics at play, but that's almost impossible to determine over the Internet unless I go into specifics.

 

Right now, it's probably a bit too early for that. I think that this is probably the best I have felt about any relationship I have had that has gotten to this point. I guess it has all of the signs that any good relationship does. We go out a lot. We laugh. We have fun together. We are supportive of each other. We have yet to get into an argument. I think we generally respect each other. And the sex is fantastic! We have a lot going for us at this point. We've been dating for about 2 1/2 months, though we have known each other for more than a year now. I think I know her fairly well and she knows me, but I know there's still a lot we probably don't know about each other. I would probably have to date her another 3-6 months before I could really make a final call on whether or not we're going to tie the knot. I imagine it's probably the same in her eyes.

 

I guess one thing that makes me feel good about the relationship is that we're both mature. I think we both have a grip on reality. I think we are both honest about ourselves and about that, we are honest with each other. I feel like I've learned a lot from my previous relationships and life experiences, and I think she has as well. Time will tell what happens. I'm optimistic but I'm also experienced enough to know that sometimes things happen that make you re-think the situation. If it works it, works. If it doesn't, I'll be disappointed but not bitter.

[Trialbyfire]

Straight up, I post what I want, when I want, regardless of the person in question. It doesn't matter to me what he thinks of it. I've stopped worrying about that aspect. This is a relationship site. It was a quasi-relationship, part of my history. He's damn lucky I chose not to post about the entire scenario into a thread when times were rough for me, but because of reasons of discretion, chose not to. If I make references here and there, what does it matter?

 

The point that I said you were right on, was that it never occurred to me about the regulars. Here's the rest of it. In retrospect, I don't care that the regulars know. For that matter, why must this be a deep, dark secret? Once again, this is a relationship site.

[Touche]

I'm in a relationship but I'm frankly not looking for anyone's input as to whether or not it's viable.

 

Then with all due respect why are you posting on my thread? Didn't you read the OP? Uhm, that's kind of the topic and purpose here..

 

My hunch is that people in the know can make an educated guess about the long-term odds of a relationship if they know enough about the dynamics at play, but that's almost impossible to determine over the Internet unless I go into specifics.

 

No it isn't. Some on here have been very specific. If you choose not to. That's ok. But again, I still don't know why you're posting here.

 

Right now, it's probably a bit too early for that. I think that this is probably the best I have felt about any relationship I have had that has gotten to this point. I guess it has all of the signs that any good relationship does. We go out a lot. We laugh. We have fun together. We are supportive of each other. We have yet to get into an argument. I think we generally respect each other. And the sex is fantastic! We have a lot going for us at this point. We've been dating for about 2 1/2 months, though we have known each other for more than a year now. I think I know her fairly well and she knows me, but I know there's still a lot we probably don't know about each other. I would probably have to date her another 3-6 months before I could really make a final call on whether or not we're going to tie the knot. I imagine it's probably the same in her eyes.

 

I guess one thing that makes me feel good about the relationship is that we're both mature. I think we both have a grip on reality. I think we are both honest about ourselves and about that, we are honest with each other. I feel like I've learned a lot from my previous relationships and life experiences, and I think she has as well. Time will tell what happens. I'm optimistic but I'm also experienced enough to know that sometimes things happen that make you re-think the situation. If it works it, works. If it doesn't, I'll be disappointed but not bitter.

 

Why did you post all of the above? I'm seriously confused. You said in your opening line that you weren't looking for anyone's input as to whether it's viable or not. So why post all of that?

 

Naturally I have comments and even see potential red flags here. But at your request, I shall keep them to myself.

 

Thanks for stopping by!

 

Also, in other news, I think I'm going to add another category. Guess who was my inspiration? Here's the extra category:

 

VIABLE - BUT ONLY IF YOU CAN KEEP FROM RUINING IT WITH YOUR STUBBORN WAYS.

 

So that's officially my fourth category. And I seriously doubt that that will fit on anyone's forehead!

[amerikajin]

Why did you post all of the above? I'm seriously confused. You said in your opening line that you weren't looking for anyone's input as to whether it's viable or not. So why post all of that?

 

Naturally I have comments and even see potential red flags here. But at your request, I shall keep them to myself.

 

Thanks for stopping by!

 

Also, in other news, I think I'm going to add another category. Guess who was my inspiration? Here's the extra category:

 

VIABLE - BUT ONLY IF YOU CAN KEEP FROM RUINING IT WITH YOUR STUBBORN WAYS.

 

So that's officially my fourth category. And I seriously doubt that that will fit on anyone's forehead!

 

You're free to comment on it. If I didn't want anyone to comment on it I should have kept it to myself, so fire away. I'm just saying that, in my opinion, whatever commentary you are going to make based on what I've posted in one post about a relationship that has taken place over two months probably has limited validity. Perhaps I could go into explicit detail about conversations we've had, moments we've had and so forth but I'd rather not at this point. There's really nothing I'm seeking in that regard. I'm not confused about any aspect of my relationship at this point. I don't need suggestions from strangers -- at least not now.

 

God knows I have hangups and issues that I have had to resolve and that I am still working on them. You probably already know what they are so to that extent, knowing what you know about me at this point, some of what you say probably holds water. Whatever, I'm not out to prove anyone wrong. I'm out to improve upon myself as an individual. I think in some ways, I have improved. In other ways, I still have work to do. I think one thing is that I've been honest and open with her up to this point about my past relationships, as she has been with me. We communicate, and I think the communication and just my general feeling about the relationship is better than in any relationship I can think of. My first long-term relationship was pretty good in the beginning but I don't even think that one, which has been hitherto the yardstick by which I have measured my other relationships, was as good as this one is now. But none of this matters. What matter is action and interaction over a period of time. I know this relationship is a long way from in the bag. Frankly, if anyone f*cks it up it's likely to be me, but I'm trying my best to do what I can not to.

[Touche]

Straight up, I post what I want, when I want, regardless of the person in question. It doesn't matter to me what he thinks of it. I've stopped worrying about that aspect. This is a relationship site. It was a quasi-relationship, part of my history. He's damn lucky I chose not to post about the entire scenario into a thread when times were rough for me, but because of reasons of discretion, chose not to. If I make references here and there, what does it matter?

 

The point that I said you were right on, was that it never occurred to me about the regulars. Here's the rest of it. In retrospect, I don't care that the regulars know. For that matter, why must this be a deep, dark secret? Once again, this is a relationship site.

 

Very happy to see that you started your own thread. That was wise because straight up you can't post "what you want, when you wantj.

 

Not on my thread anyway. Not when it's off-topic and not when it's meant to incite.

 

No offense to anyone but I think it's really interesting to look a t the people who have taken my thread off-topic. Very, very interesting. Not only the fact that they took it off-topic but HOW they did it. Nice.

[Touche]

You're free to comment on it. If I didn't want anyone to comment on it I should have kept it to myself, so fire away.

 

So why did you comment after saying you wanted no input? Just curious. Am I the crazy one here tonight? What the hell? Did you read the first sentence of your first post on here? You weren't looking for input. Sure I can comment but I want to respect your wishes and not comment. Because that's what this thread is about Amer..it's about you talking about your relationship and no one commenting.

 

 

I'm just saying that, in my opinion, whatever commentary you are going to make based on what I've posted in one post about a relationship that has taken place over two months probably has limited validity.

 

This is funny. I have no knowledge about any of your past relationships. I have no recollection. None. And I'm not inclined to go back and read your history either. So any commentary I may make, IF I even make any, would be solely based on what you provide here.

 

Perhaps I could go into explicit detail about conversations we've had, moments we've had and so forth but I'd rather not at this point. There's really nothing I'm seeking in that regard. I'm not confused about any aspect of my relationship at this point. I don't need suggestions from strangers -- at least not now.

 

Again, then why on earth are you posting here? I feel like I'm banging my head against the wall! Anyway, I wouldn't even need explicit details about conversations, moments, seconds, events, etc. etc. I could still make a valid assessment. But you don't need suggestions from strangers. I get it.

 

God knows I have hangups and issues that I have had to resolve and that I am still working on them. You probably already know what they are so to that extent, knowing what you know about me at this point, some of what you say probably holds water.

 

What the hell? No offense Amer but you flatter yourself with your sense of self-importance. I really have absolutely NO idea what you're talking about. I only recall your political threads. I have no clue about your relationships...past or present. I don't know how old you are. I don't know anything about you. Well, I do recall you mentioning that you lived with your mom. Other than that, I don't recall that much..oh wait, you like Asian girls, right? And I think you've never been married. Ok, so that's the sum of all that I know about you personally.

 

Whatever, I'm not out to prove anyone wrong. I'm out to improve upon myself as an individual. I think in some ways, I have improved. In other ways, I still have work to do. I think one thing is that I've been honest and open with her up to this point about my past relationships, as she has been with me. We communicate, and I think the communication and just my general feeling about the relationship is better than in any relationship I can think of.

 

Good for you!

 

My first long-term relationship was pretty good in the beginning but I don't even think that one, which has been hitherto the yardstick by which I have measured my other relationships, was as good as this one is now. But none of this matters. What matter is action and interaction over a period of time. I know this relationship is a long way from in the bag. Frankly, if anyone f*cks it up it's likely to be me, but I'm trying my best to do what I can not to.

 

Good luck to you.

[oceangrl]

My story:

 

Dating more than 2 years. I'm 24, he's 29. I dated others but he is my first love and LTR. A relationship prior to him lasted about a month because that guy didn't show me he was interested enough - but this guy does. He has had a few LTR prior to meeting me. One of them almost lead to marriage, but they fought so much that it didnt work out and she cheated on him.

 

He has asked me to move in with him, but I refuse to because we aren't married (I have spoken to him about this already). I'd rather maintain my independence if we aren't married and it'll probably be easier to go to school for the next two years if we continued with our seperate living situation because I currently live closer to the university than he does.

 

My parents aren't divorced, his are and one of them is re-married. We talked about marriage. He isn't opposed to us getting married someday, but he doesn't see the benefit of getting married because he thinks it doesn't change anything. He also says that since he is not religious, he doesn't see the purpose of marriage. He says that he wants to be with me forever,and that he would marry me someday if its something I wanted to.

 

I haven't told him that I'll be ready to get married in about 2 years, and that I will eventually want to get married (waiting for a good time to bring it up). People have told me that if he's saying those things about marriage, that he just wants sex long term and will never marry me. Is this true? If he doesn't marry me, it will be an issue. What if after two years he changes his mind and says he doesn't ever want to marry me....then what? But currently, I love our time together. He does little things to show me he cares...like stocking his fridge with food i like, buying me things that I might need when I'm at his place, listening when I need to vent... your 2 cents please!

[Touche]

Oceangirl. You need to bring marriage up with him. You're not being honest with him right now. If that's what you're looking for, then you need to bring it up now. It's time. It's over two years.

 

Stop listening to speculation from other people about whether he's just wanting sex long term and will never marry you. You don't know that because you haven't told him where you stand and you don't know his response. And furthermore, it's a big red flag that after two years you even think this about him and don't know for sure!

 

You get zero points for communication in this relationship.

 

He's already told you where he stands. When do you think it will be the right time for YOU to tell him where YOU stand?

 

Now.

 

Until then, I will have to say that this is NOT VIABLE because you are not being honest with him about what you want so you don't even know if you're on the same page. And by now, you should be.

 

So bring it up and come back on here, ok? I hope I'm able to change my assessment. But for now, no.

 

Sorry.

[oceangrl]

My story:

 

Dating more than 2 years. I'm 24, he's 29. I dated others but he is my first love and LTR. A relationship prior to him lasted about a month because that guy didn't show me he was interested enough - but this guy does. He has had a few LTR prior to meeting me. One of them almost lead to marriage, but they fought so much that it didnt work out and she cheated on him.

 

He has asked me to move in with him, but I refuse to because we aren't married (I have spoken to him about this already). I'd rather maintain my independence if we aren't married and it'll probably be easier to go to school for the next two years if we continued with our seperate living situation because I currently live closer to the university than he does.

 

My parents aren't divorced, his are and one of them is re-married. We talked about marriage. He isn't opposed to us getting married someday, but he doesn't see the benefit of getting married because he thinks it doesn't change anything. He also says that since he is not religious, he doesn't see the purpose of marriage. He says that he wants to be with me forever,and that he would marry me someday if its something I wanted to.

 

I haven't told him that I'll be ready to get married in about 2 years, and that I will eventually want to get married (waiting for a good time to bring it up). People have told me that if he's saying those things about marriage, that he just wants sex long term and will never marry me. Is this true? If he doesn't marry me, it will be an issue. What if after two years he changes his mind and says he doesn't ever want to marry me....then what? But currently, I love our time together. He does little things to show me he cares...like stocking his fridge with food i like, buying me things that I might need when I'm at his place, listening when I need to vent... your 2 cents please!

And furthermore, it's a big red flag that after two years you even think this about him and don't know for sure!

 

Yeah I'm not sure what the answer is about the marriage part....the sex part though....I know isn't true.

 

He's already told you where he stands.

 

I keep thinking that if I already know where he stands (he thinks marriages is bull****) then am I wasting my time? So many people say that you can't change a man. Does that mean that I'm already "NOT VIABLE" with him?

 

And lets say I do tell him what I want. What if he tells me "sure we'll get married someday" just to keep me around without the intention of following through?

 

You're right though, i do need to tell him what I want. Thank you, that is a good point.

[Touche]

Yeah I'm not sure what the answer is about the marriage part....the sex part though....I know isn't true.

 

 

 

I keep thinking that if I already know where he stands (he thinks marriages is bull****) then am I wasting my time? So many people say that you can't change a man. Does that mean that I'm already "NOT VIABLE" with him?

 

If you're absolutely sure that this is where he stands, then yes, you ARE wasting your time OG. No, you can't change him. So if what you're saying here is really the reality, then I'm sorry but this is clearly NOT VIABLE.

 

And lets say I do tell him what I want. What if he tells me "sure we'll get married someday" just to keep me around without the intention of following through?

 

Well that's a risk. I agree. But only you know his character. Do you think he's the type of man to say that to you and not really mean it? If so, then I don't know why you'd want to be with a dishonest man in the first place. If he's not dishonest, then you have to decide if you want to risk it and take him at his word.

 

You're right though, i do need to tell him what I want. Thank you, that is a good point.

 

You're welcome. Please do that. And come back on here if you want.

[Touche]

This is cool.. thanks!

 

Ok so I'm 36, he's 34... I was married before him for 10 years, he was in a LTR before me for 5 years. I have a 9 year old, he has no kids.

 

We'd been around each other before but really only started talking a couple months before we became "official".

 

His parents are still married (but threaten to split all the time), mine are divorced.

 

The good: Tons of things... he's awesome. I love most things about him and we are a lot alike. We laugh constantly, he's trustworthy, he's financially secure, he's gentle... solid guy.

 

The bad: We live an hour apart. He's always late, procrastinates, is very disorganized with his time (and mine) and isn't very reliable, is very independent whereas I am needier so our communiaction is amiss.

 

Need anything else, just ask!

 

Hi, Hiding. Well first off, how long have you officially been together? You don't really say. How long do you know him total?

 

How often do you see each other?

 

Is there any talk about one of you moving so that you live closer?

[burningashes]

Hehe, this sounds like fun. Granted, my relationship is still pretty new, but it's so oh exciting

 

We've been friends for almost a year and we started dating after I ended things with my ex who I dated for 7 years. I'm 25 and he's 28, we both have had ltr's where we both were engaged. He left because his ex who he was with for 4 years ran off with his boss, ouch, right? Anyhow... we started seeing each other back in november until we became official on new years eve (he wanted me to ask him to be my bf and decided I was taking too long to ask him out so HE asked me instead, hehe)

 

We spend a lot of time together, I see him at least twice a week. We try to make our schedules mesh, we both work really weird hours with myself being a coordinator who manages a couple of group homes and he a police officer. He has already met my family and we share a lot of things in common- like geeking it out on the computers together or watching 24 or the beast, we enjoy going out for dinner together sometimes. We're very intimate aside from sex, I love giving him back massages and he loves to lie down with me on the couch to cuddle for a movie. He's coming over for dinner with me and my family tonight and I'm really, really looking forward to it. I'm in love with him, that's for sure

 

So... viable, or not?

[Touche]

Ok, burning...some questions:

 

How long was it from the time you ended things with your ex until you and your b/f became an item?

 

How did it come about that you were friends with your b/f? Were you maybe a little more than friends during the time you were with your ex and the time you were friends with your now b/f?

 

And how long had it been since your b/f was left by his ex and the time you two got together in a romantic way?

 

There seems to be a lot of good here but I'd like to know more.

 

What's the best parts of your relationship and what are the worst parts?

 

Does he want what you want regarding marriage and family? Have you even discussed that?

 

If you can answer all of the above, I will weigh in.

[shadowplay]

This is cool.. thanks!

 

Ok so I'm 36, he's 34... I was married before him for 10 years, he was in a LTR before me for 5 years. I have a 9 year old, he has no kids.

 

We'd been around each other before but really only started talking a couple months before we became "official".

 

His parents are still married (but threaten to split all the time), mine are divorced.

 

The good: Tons of things... he's awesome. I love most things about him and we are a lot alike. We laugh constantly, he's trustworthy, he's financially secure, he's gentle... solid guy.

 

The bad: We live an hour apart. He's always late, procrastinates, is very disorganized with his time (and mine) and isn't very reliable, is very independent whereas I am needier so our communiaction is amiss.

 

Need anything else, just ask!

 

Sounds like there could be some real incompatibilities. Somebody who is perennially late or inconsiderate is VERY hard to deal with. If he doesn't change his behavior soon, it could be the demise of your relationship. Have you broached the subject with him? How does he respond? Is he evasive? Does he promise to change and then go back on his word? Or has he made any improvements?

 

You say he is more independent. How does he respond to your self-described neediness? Is he supportive, or does he have trouble giving?

 

Why did his last relationship end? Has he ever confessed to commitment issues?

[allina]

Sounds viable, though I'm curious to know more about his relationship history.

 

His first LTR was a year and a half during his senior year in high school through a couple months in college. They went to different colleges, grew apart and the relationship didn't make it. In college he was in a relationship for about 2 years. It ended because she wanted to settle down and he didn't feel like she was the one, plus he wanted to move to California. He moved to California, relationship ended. Then he was in another relationship that lasted around a year, he ended it because she was difficult, always angry or depressed about something. I know he had other shorter relationships/flings but I don't really know the details.

[Touche]

Sounds like there could be some real incompatibilities. Somebody who is perennially late or inconsiderate is VERY hard to deal with. If he doesn't change his behavior soon, it could be the demise of your relationship. Have you broached the subject with him? How does he respond? Is he evasive? Does he promise to change and then go back on his word? Or has he made any improvements?

 

You say he is more independent. How does he respond to your self-described neediness? Is he supportive, or does he have trouble giving?

 

Why did his last relationship end? Has he ever confessed to commitment issues?

 

You're not bad, SP.

 

But I really don't think the fact that he's never on time means anything in and of itself. And I would never say it could mean the "demise" of the relationship...no way.

 

As for the independence/neediness question..yep. This could be serious. And I think you asked some pertinent questions there, SP.

[shadowplay]

His first LTR was a year and a half during his senior year in high school through a couple months in college. They went to different colleges, grew apart and the relationship didn't make it. In college he was in a relationship for about 2 years. It ended because she wanted to settle down and he didn't feel like she was the one, plus he wanted to move to California. He moved to California, relationship ended. Then he was in another relationship that lasted around a year, he ended it because she was difficult, always angry or depressed about something. I know he had other shorter relationships/flings but I don't really know the details.

 

Story checks out. I say viable.

 

One final question. How enthusiastic has he been about marrying you? Has he ever expressed doubts or reluctance, and was he the one to first broach the marriage subject?

[shadowplay]

You're not bad, SP.

 

But I really don't think the fact that he's never on time means anything in and of itself. And I would never say it could mean the "demise" of the relationship...no way.

 

As for the independence/neediness question..yep. This could be serious. And I think you asked some pertinent questions there, SP.

 

Thanks!

 

I agree in that I think it depends on the person whether it's a major issue. Some people have a low tolerance for lateness; others will let it slide. It's not uncommon that somebody who is always late has other forms of irresponsibility that could harm the relationship. It may be simple flakiness (in a best case scenario) or symptomatic of a lack of consideration for the needs of others. I guess I'd need more detail about whether it's entangled in a larger problem and how much it matters to the OP. She alluded to poor communication in her post as well, which made me think there might be more there.

[Touche]

Thanks!

 

I agree in that I think it depends on the person whether it's a major issue. Some people have a low tolerance for lateness; others will let it slide. It's not uncommon that somebody who is always late has other forms of irresponsibility that could harm the relationship. It may be simple flakiness (in a best case scenario) or symptomatic of a lack of consideration for the needs of others. I guess I'd need more detail about whether it's entangled in a larger problem and how much it matters to the OP. She alluded to poor communication in her post as well, which made me think there might be more there.

 

Sorry, I'm laughing, SP! You are really good at this! I'm serious.

 

As for Allina, yep. I see this lasting. One of the few in their 20's.